The Rise and Fall

I feel the irregular rhythm of his lungs

The fight for every breathe

I feel the syncopation of his heart

The tired labour of his chest

I feel it all against my ear

The right hand side of my head

I feel his empire rise to power

Then fall to where he rests

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem had a hidden story. I liked how you use the function of the body to describe the rise and fall of chest. The poem gave me the meaning of someone tire and ready for final rest. The poem can be took in many ways. I liked the poem. Best poetry create thoughts and reaction. This poem did. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Amy J]

Thank you so much Coyote! I really appreciate your feedback as always!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome..

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Very deep and moving for sure.
Short but tells such a big story, in few words.
I liked the way you wrote it out and the ending.
Well writen

[MomzillaNC]

So much told in so few words. Love, sorrow, sadness and the courage to be with someone to the last.

[Amy J]

Thank you!

[MomzillaNC]

yw :)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Beautiful little poem. There's much behind all this words: love, sadness, sorrow. Very well done, Amy. :) Rudi

[Amy J]

Thank you so much Rudi- I really appreciate your feedback!

[Einstein Noodle]

thought provoking word play Amy .. well done .. succinct and potent .. i worked as a nurse in intensive care and the rhythms you refer to are very dramatic and poignant .. well done!
E.

[Amy J]

Sounds like you've lead a very interesting life. Thank you for all your lovely comments :)

[Einstein Noodle]

i have had my moments ;)

[Green]

Funny how the signs of life can also be reminders of how fragile it really is.
My favorite part of this was the comparisons you drew between an empire rising and falling to power and the person's breathing. It created an interesting visual in my mind of a minuscule feudal system living inside his lungs (my brain is weird :) ). Well done.

[Amy J]

I completely agree with you! Thank you so much- all the great brains are! Thank you for your feedback, much appreciated :)

[Arthur Martel]

Beautiful poem ! You are most definitely a poet ! x

[Amy J]

Thank you Mr Acoustics x

[Lizardo]

This is one beautiful poem you have here, I really enjoyed readin this beautiful piece.
It's true that like an empire we rise and fall.
Excellent piece of work

[Amy J]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it!

[Lizardo]

You are welcome