Kingdom

Broken dreams lead only to unknown hallways of life.

 

 

Beautiful sunrise to

the east graces her

beauty

 

-Visualize-

 

Slowly, light touches

the door that leads to

unknown halls

 

Listen to the knock of

another entity whose spirit 

died

 

Ghosts whisper as you

tip toe her red carpets

of blood

 

-Dare-

 

Magical entry to the

center of eternity she

allows

 

Trust her to see your

soul with your eyes

closed

 

Taste your desires for her,

LISTEN….

 

She cries for you

 

 

-Stay-

  Me

Reviews

[Touché Armada]

Castles of sand, very leading picture.
Which sums the write up with a preconceived notion.. Asking one to stay, is like a castle built of sand, because a castle built of stone needs no such request, it simply stays solid on its bedrock. Makes me imagine the dampness of tears might help a little for a while to keep the sand holding together, but eventually the tears will run dry and the whole thing will crumble.. Nice write, nice picture.

[Emily Rose]

Ooh! This is very mysterious and it leaves you wanting to know what happens next. Such a great way to capture desire - leave your reader with the same feeling! I like the way you scattered the colored words throughout; they made for a good focal point and a good way to summarize what you were saying in each stanza. It was a good choice to make "Stay" a smaller font, too - it's added almost as an afterthought, yet I get the sense that it's the most important word in the poem.

Well done! This kept my attention througout and was a very interesting read.

[jakelsen]

Slowly, light touchesthe door that leads tounknown halls. . . I like that. It gives it a mystical feeling.

Listen to the knock of another entity whose spirit died. Ghosts whisper as you tip toe her red carpets of blood. . . It makes me think of an empty house, or deserted church. Carpets of blood is a little spooky and compelling.

Magical entry to the center of eternity she allows. . Very dreamlike.

I like this poem very much. The imagery has multi layers. Good job.

[Cliff Rhodes]

The sun has risen and brings hope and promise of new beginings yet the red carpets of blood give a foreboding that is a little disturbing to this reader.

"Trust her to see your soul with your eyes closed". This interests me to reflect upon my own problems and short comings.

The last thre lines are really nice. Desire is always a welcome emotion and erases all the grief and burden of sadness. There is that yearning for love that lasts all day long and passes all through the night, burning brightly to turn all else into ashes from its flames.

This is a nice thought provoking piece. Good job.