Evaporation

Slowly I am dying inside....

 

Rock bottom is only a statement

From the depth of sorrow

-I live another black day-

 

Life is over in my eyes of light

Blackness enters my soul

-Consumes my last breath-

 

I rise to the top for air

Bubbles pop one by one

-I sink back to the bottom-

 

Rainbows were of the past

Life here brings sorrow

-Earth begins to not spin-

 

Lies surround my heart

Trusting to darkness

-Painless death arrives-

 

Eyes of mercy lies

Friends run away

-Dry up and fade away-

 

Evaporation

Author's Note

There have been many times in my life that I feel as if my innerbeing is being robbed....taken away... my personality gone.. but I always manage to find myself.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

this does resonate with that loneliness of the soul. Well done.

[jakelsen]

Interesting piece. I wasn't quite sure what you meant by this:

Eyes of mercy lies
Friends run away
Dry up and fade away.

What does "eyes of mercy lies" mean? Wasn't sure. Did you know you have thirteen long "i" sounds in this piece? Just wondered if that was done on purpose, or if it's just a coincidence.

[Stephen Ownby]

I like the evaporation metaphor, and would like to see it extended more throughout this piece. Too much of the rest of the poem is cliche. It's all in the title, run with that.