I like that this view is positive. So many people complain about how terrible it is. I am always like, yes no one is perfect and the past was unfair and unkind, but we are moving in the right direction. And look at the rest of the world. There's so much disease, famine, genocide, infanticide, war and poverty! I tell people that we are spoiled. They have no idea what harsh conditions are ad are lucky to not have bombs blowing up innocent homes and kids. Thanks for writing.
I do remember someone mentioned in his presidential speech that our countrys soldier are the best trained and the equiped in the world and the most disciplined in the world . I still and will always believe that . We are still the symbol and beacon of freedom . We as one country under God still upholds democracy and fights and resists those who tries to trample our blessed God given freedom and liberty . I have never seen nor heard any country in the world like our who gives so much and help and support our allies even those who arent . Perhaps the metaphor of an ungrateful wives is referring to lack of appreciation on the part of the benificiaries of those who gave so much . I dont see the words as sexiest .
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you Neil...long time no see hope life is treating you kind and all is well with you!
I'm going to have to disagree with the most recent comments. Although it is well written, the message is naive and prejudiced. "Barbarians, untamed beasts and freaks" is totally dehumanizing- an easy way to portray your enemy as something not worth living. "Like ungrateful wives" is shockingly sexist. And overall, the presumption seems to be that America is a Christian nation.
I agree that there needs to be some unification, but not under a hyper-nationalist worldview like this.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 2 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
How would you describe ISIL?
Naive, maybe. Prejudiced? That's a narrow view of your ow.. read moreHow would you describe ISIL?
Naive, maybe. Prejudiced? That's a narrow view of your own. And, nowhere in this poem is there any uniquely Christian description. "In God we trust" has room for anyone's concept of Divinity. It's a narrow mind that must attack another's expression of national loyalty and reflection for a day honoring our nation. It was for the Fourth of July and is entirely appropriate as an expression that celebrates what loves about his country.
If you must comment on someone's work and cannot be kind, to be unkind is simply rude.
A.Amos: sorry to hijack your commentary. I've just seen too much of this kind of attacking reviews that help no one improve as a writer, nor engender any sense of community.
10 Years Ago
If no one is going to point it out, then I must. And honesty is how you help writers. This was the h.. read moreIf no one is going to point it out, then I must. And honesty is how you help writers. This was the honest review that this poem provoked from me. The writing itself was good, which I noted. And I agree that he has every right to express this sentiment on the Fourth, but I also have every right to express my opinion on the poem (which is certainly not an attack) in order for him to know the sort of thought some readers might have when reading this poem. Hell, he should be happy it provokes this sort of response because it verifies that it's engaging his reader one way or another. I think I put it rather kindly and could have been far more aggressive.
Engaging in a diacussion with conflicting perspectives what makes for exciting, intelligent, and progressive discourse. In fact, it's what keeps this country moving forward. If you think one review on another person's poem that points out degrading themes is an "attack," you may want to reassess your idea of an attack on free speech. Narrow minded people wouldn't even give this poem a chance, but I did and offered my opinion as something to keep in mind for the future.
As to ISIL- great deflection, but I also think that they are not barbarians, untamed beasts, or freaks. In no way do I think what they're doing is right, but they shouldnt be considered inhuman. Like I said, dehumanizing the "other" justifies equally horribly acts. They have a similar fervor for religion and establishing a state. And I won't go into the reasons why Western countries might be at fault for this, but the horrible things they do are on par with the Mexican cartels, US soldiers raping and urinating and killing civilians, religious genocide in Africa, and whatever else you can think of. In no way does that warrant treating them as inhuman, but rather as humans who have committed horrible acts. There's a subtle but tremendous difference there.
A.amos- I think you're a great writer, I've enjoyed your other poems, but I simply think that my opinions on your poem should be expressed here to help you keep in mind the perspective of some readers. After all, freedom of speech is the first in line on the bill of rights, so we both have every right to maintain our ideas and opinions.
10 Years Ago
The dehumanization is in the act of those individuals.
I agree you have every right to.. read moreThe dehumanization is in the act of those individuals.
I agree you have every right to express your own view and values -- in your own poetry. I review many works, a large portion with which I do not agree, neither value the quality of writing. I never post a negative review -- "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all."
While your comments may not have been the rudest I've seen of some reviewers, you just happened to be the one I landed on when I'd come to the end of my tolerance. I've had little such experience from reviewers of my own work, but it saddens me to see others blasted in reviews. If you honestly examine your remarks, can you genuinely claim you could not have phrased your criticisms more kindly?
They may be seeing things in a dehumanizing way, but does it make anything better by saying they are.. read moreThey may be seeing things in a dehumanizing way, but does it make anything better by saying they are inhuman themselves?
And I think this must stem from a fundamental difference in our beliefs about helping writers. I think nothing is improved by saying nothing at all. As a writer, you inevitably have to deal with people who hold opposing opinions. Learning to handle that is what makes an even better writer.
I'm sorry that you ran across mine at the end of your intolerance, but that doesn't mean I "blasted" the poem. And yes, I honestly examined my remarks and see no kinder way of phrasing it. I worked as a writing consultant with new college writers for a while, and I would have said the same thing and they would have used that as constructive criticism. Writers don't get anywhere from a*s kissing, plain and simple.
As a new member, I truly hope that this site is not about just patting eachother on the back. I think that's great sometimes, and it can really boost someone's confidence in their writing, but there are two ends to the sword and honest opinions need to be expressed without the Kindness Police looming around every corner
10 Years Ago
It's not about patting each other on the back. But, can you honestly say you could not have been mor.. read moreIt's not about patting each other on the back. But, can you honestly say you could not have been more diplomatic?
And, as I said, yours were note the rudest or cruelest… just the ones that popped my cork.
10 Years Ago
I think that I've been very diplomatic in this thread as well as in my original comment. I could hav.. read moreI think that I've been very diplomatic in this thread as well as in my original comment. I could have called him names- I didnt. I could have said it ruined his piece- I didnt. I could have said he was wrong- I didnt. I could have generalized about his writing on the whole- I didnt. I think it demonstrates my diplomacy that I didn't use these fallacious tactics in reviewing and reaponding. I spoke purely to the subject matter.
I'm going to move on now, as I think you should, because I'm going to continue offering my frank opinions and advice no matter where the Kindness Police flash their badges.
A. Amos is a deep thinker with a passion for understanding the mysteries of life, love, and humanity. He has traveled throughout the world and is heavily invested in the personal development of others.. more..