War and Peace...

first of my kind....so please criticism and feedback required!

The distant tune of the weary farmer

Humming in chants as the eve grows calmer

The ripple of waters in a cerise hue

And receding rays bid us adieu

Scores of fishes bathe in rhythm

As the serene night shrouds us in

Splash of water as the fisherman retires

Tethers his yacht by the jagged coastline

The lonesome swan nods off goodbye

As shimmering stars hum a lullaby

The carpet of shadows finally is laid

And I pray with a yearning unsaid.

I sit and stare at those cosmic beams

As the galaxy exudes an assort of tints

The calmness of the dark is enchanting

Can’t it dwell eternally unceasing?

An era long lost since I sensed peace in men

But I dread the nightmares lest return again.

Tonight no drones of hungry birds

No burnt flesh or bones in shards

Tonight no children scuttling in dread

Or canter of soldiers with tears unshed

Tonight no sinister holes to veil our fear

Devoid of blackouts or weapons that tear

Neither pools of blood nor cadavers of terror

Or shrieks of maidens masked with horror

Tonight I can draw water from my river

Devoid of that scarlet and of foul odour.

 

Those were our brothers with pledges to deliver

Stationed in terrains of rocks and meshes of wire

In times of harmony breathing in the chill

Same was the fate with their rival uphill

Even share a drink with the foe beyond

But obliged to slay as the war raved on

In the mercy of gluttony wringing out their life

And voracious regimes fuelling selfish strives

Whilst youthful widows wail in despair’

Orphans gaze by the highway with a prayer

Mothers seek cover from a leak in the roof

As humanity weeps in gloom and grief

The planet offers homage to those lost souls

As mother earth seeps in the blood in bowls.

 

The human race has crouched too low

The almighty too apprehends this so

No peace you can perceive until you arise

An apocalypse is bound in the next sunrise

A spiritual stirring worldwide

For the human race to survive!

 

 

Reviews

[Rahul]

Very nice and a powerful write "Arielle", you dig it. you write right from the bottom of your heart.. isn't it !!!
liked your working way. carry on. keep writing :)
100/100.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Ryhme and half rhyme in English rhyming couplet stanza... and it comes away so well. Great read...

Mankind alas, always has stooped low...

[Tate Morgan]

A poignant question does religion help? can it save us? or is it the seed of all that causes us pain .At times i think the worlds ocean going vessels could maneuver in ease of movement in the oceans of innocent blood religion has spilled

[BruceJackson]

Stirring piece. I love it.

[Desert Dreamer]

A poem very well done. I do hope more people awaken before it is too late. I also think it is going to take more than awakening. I think many of us are going to have to resist these terrible things, to create a movement of resistance. Awakening is only a first step, and that first step will do nothing to stop industrial civilization. I think of the many peaceful peoples, such as the indigenous peoples, who did not need to "awaken" since they already lived in balance with their environment. These peaceful people are destroyed when they get in the way of "development", and the same will happen to any of us. I think the only way to stop this ongoing death and destruction is to make major political change, and change the whole system that enforces the destruction.
Oh, a wonderful poem, it sparked my thoughts and made me ponder how I might be able to stop this mess. I want there to be a healthy world left for future generations.

[MOON]

The price of war graphically told .

[msharma]

Excellent,

[R J Askew]

Forgot to say I love the pic you put with your poem. And I overlooked to mention that the last two are very positive and feel right. But we are in the world of advanced capitalism now and that tends not to be too bothered about spiritual matters. How do we disable our materialistic impulses I wonder?

[R J Askew]

Great job, full of sustained imagery and passionate force. I esp like the image of 'from a leak in the roof as humanity weeps' and 'the human race has crouched too low.' It sometimes seems as if the whole of human history has been about war. I have mixed feelings about the outlook in the last 8 lines or so. Part of me thinks it is not like this. Another part thinks we were capable of creating death camps and incinerating millions of people, so we are perfectly capable of doing worse. But surely not. And yet, Iran's quest for its he-man toy shows how insane we all are. The thought of two or three more nuclear powers in the middle east is not encouraging. Sigh. So once again your lines make this reader think. I also think I may be guilty of western hypocrisy on this point.

[Manpreet]

Nice piece very well written. The human race has crouched too low

The almighty too apprehends this so

No peace you can perceive until you arise

An apocalypse is bound in the next sunrise

A spiritual stirring worldwide

For the human race to survive!

Are my favorite lines that gives it a perfect closure!