The grey...

Crash!!! Where is she?

Grey grey swirling in,

Is she is trapped? She is nowhere!

She tries to turn back,

But grey grey churning in!

No gates to return, are there any?

But she will fight, yes she must,

Yes a gateway, afar she can glimpse

Barely discernible in the brume,

She sprints and trips, up and runs,

The gate is ajar barely a flap,

She squeezes and arrives, yes her home,

But , Hazy hazy the view

Vague is where she came from

She craves to touch to sense

Flesh earth grass and steel

But no she cant she can’t

Better to depart she thinks

Flustered she returns

Still grey grey everywhere

But hail, blue is that other side

Angels with wings seem to glide

Gazing at her in curiosity

Beckoning frantically” come”!

She strides and hastens

The silver archway she reaches

But locked is it, latched and chained

 She darts to the reverse side

Locked, shackled and bolted it is too!

Neither a mortal nor a soul

She has nowhere to go

Oh the grey the grey

Engulfs her, fences her within

She can’t depart either way

Entrapped she is in a wait evermore!

 

Author's Note

life after suicide, sudden death, near death experience??? something I perceived!

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Great stuff. The urgency of the word tumble is sustained from start to finish. I immediately felt locked in a dream twisting this way and that, just as dreams will in their puzzling ways. And yes there is often one predominating facet, grey in this case. There was a hint of salvation with the silver archway, hope. But, and this was the best part for me, the gate is locked. Getting behind it was sooooo typical of a dream! But to find it locked on the other side, too. THAT was a magical dab! Very strong, and terrifying too. I can imagine the soul of suicide finding the way forward to salvation barred and then finding the way back to life barred also. That is a terrifying thought. And all so urgent and immediate and real, just as those experience you note are for us.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

Classic Limbo!
No mans or aliens land!
I thought you were referring to the beings called "greys" ...the craft work of an alien generation ...but found something else here....i enjoyed reading never the less.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson..]

Congratulations this poem has been "approved" for publication in...

THE MAGICAL MYTHICAL MYSTERY COMPENDIUM.

-Fantasy and Factual Poems of the Arcane.

By John Phoenix Hutchinson and Others. (c) 2012

Please feel free to submit other poems as you are not limited to one entry. Also please write a short "bio" about yourself and send to me via private message. This will be published along with your poem. Thanks J.P.H.

Anyone wanting to make Submissions to this Writers Cafe "e" book Project can do so on my group page, the deadline is 1st of November 2012.

[Arielle Ann]

Thank you so much for the honor Mr. Hutchinson!

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Well thank the reviewers of WC they choose it really. All I do is decide if the content of the poem is suitable for the book title.

[Arielle Ann]

Of course, WC is a place where I shall be forever thankful to each and every writer out here!

[M.Babu]

What a fast paced piece...picked up splendidly well and sort of just took flight naturally as we progressed along and i couldn't rip my attention away if i wanted to...

Definitely an interesting perspective towards the transitioning between life and death. The feeling of entrapment as fate decides which archway/door will creak open for you, be it another shot at life, a pass into the afterlife or the dungeons...
Got me thinking...

Thanks yo!

~M.Babu~

[Coyote Poetry]

A lot of action and the description create a vision of struggle and pain. I like the pace and the desire of this poem. When lost and confuse. Best know where you need to be. A strong ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

Perfectly gripping wow, what a write! Such a suffocation she felt, being caged within two parralel worlds... I loved this write, Nicely done!!

[Arabdha]

the confusion and the sense of restlessness is beautifully brought out..loved the piece...you empathize with the protagonist all along !

[MsMermaid]

At first I questioned why no formatting... no stanzas. Then I realized it adds to the tangible feel of being trapped... being in a state of suspended eternally... can't go back... can't go on. Really gripping. Then the frantic search for details... answers. But all that is there is grey, hazy, no details, no answers, just trapped. Worst of all the suicide not only doesn't release you, like you think death will... from pain. It doesn't provide the answers you want either. Love, loVE, LOVED this piece.

[joshua deathdealer]

This is a very constricting write. Very descriptive and well penned.

[Vincent]

very nice, it seems like a rush, I almost got breathless reading it. I think it could benefit from a few changes in the typo, like that quote misplaced or that space in front of "She darts". It's great, the repetitions add to that feeling of speed... Good job