A Rant

Just my thoughts

All of my life, I have listed to people proclaiming about how I would eventually find someone who would be my other half- my soul mate. And eventually I started to listen and thus being single became simply a phase of waiting and more waiting. I forced my future into a box that only included me, a guy by my side, and our children. That is what people expect right- to go out, date, get married, have kids, and watch them do the same? Then why is it so hard to imagine if it is what is meant to be?

 I had always grown up hearing about the vocations being from a Catholic family- married life, religious life, and single life. As I grew and entered high school and then college, people seemed to stop talking about the single life. It transformed in my mind into a state of being between deciding whether to join a convent or dating and getting married. Now I've definitely discerned that religious life is not for me (or at least I don't think so) and now more and more I am questioning whether I want to get married at all. With these thoughts in mind I think back to what I have heard from others- that single life is not a valid option, or that I just have not found the right person yet. And that could be a possibility- maybe I haven't found the one, but I'm not going to sit and believe that for the rest of my life. As far as I'm concerned I'm happy with the decision to remain single. And this is a choice, not a fallback. It is not that I am not attracted to anyone because I certainly am, but the plans I have in mind, once I let myself out of that box, are me discovering the world free from anyone else. These are the plans that keep me dreaming.