The Old frame

A children's poem..

Pinned to the wall an old frame hanged
Lurking outside, Li'l Lilly peeked inside
The landscapes allowed a glimpse of what it was
Its head "in" it sucked like "out" of a window bus involuntarily;
Her feet glued firmly onto the ground.

The red raw fresh earth gone dust in the middle and caked on the edges,
The tree with its enormous shade by her side
its branches wide and spread;
Thick and thin
The leaves dangling huddled and singled like Uncle Joe's moled skin
Yellow, brown, green and dark green

The crooked ill-shaped fence went half way through
to a winding foot paved path leading up and down to
Where..?
A bambooed crooked house at a far off end
Whose body was swallowed three quarters by the other side of the hill
and its top looked like a hat on a fisherman's head

And there behind it mounted,
Lay rooted
was towering pine green trees,
the hills and the meadows and the mountains far off
Brown near far off ones,
mellow'd distant far off ones and
pale bluish white far off away'd ones
as a loin cloth over an undeveloped hips
lined back and forth

Somewhere behind those lay dangling the white ball mid air about to loose air and disappear
The light shone somewhere near them;
Perhaps it's friends with them
It mingled and played with the paled bluish white far off away'd ones
at rise and at set
It cared to change company in time
and took their colour when played with the
brown and mellow'd far off ones
Time took it away from them
And that made it furious
'twas being parted from friends
It threw tantrums shining more brightly
and fought with the clouds

At set, even the winged ones joined them,
the tiny, the large, the herd in between
It went chirping and greeting
as Aunt Molly in public
It returns to the shade trees
Like she to her Ma
And now it was pushed back and went pitch black for a while

The doors were closed to the kingdom
where the sun, the mountains,
the birds, the trees were friends,
played and threw tantrums like she and her friends

Reviews

[Perdition]

This could keep you a lifetime in imagery alone as well as dissecting the 'goings on"..vivid and worthy if only to keep your mind searching for the key to almost a sense of a "Framed Up Still Life almost Lord Of the Flies Sense of Narnia" . You took something still and winded the gears to begin your story ..and you did this all with an unbridled and unsaddled imagination. I cannot give it enough praise so there is no constructive criticism here. Not today. Just a fairy dust blown to set your story into life.It is wonderfully, wonderfully done ~

[Shweta]

It was so wonderful to read through what you felt.. I am sure your criticism would be more than welcome to me... Thank you for stopping by and for being generous..
Shwetz

[Perdition]

It was my pleasure. And wonderful read.

[Perdition]

And this poem is Gorgeous.It's done the same overwhelming, falling on the floor and stunning thing to me...read it four times and then looked at the picture and it all fell into wonderful, wonderful place.jUst a GORGEOUS poem.I was, to say the least, stunned in its unlabored original lines and use of images and Narnia-esk theme. Simply ..well, you know this already. Congrats! And i will be back as well to read and read and read as well you know!