My Shining Star

You are supposed to be my hero

My bright and shining star

The path that leads me right

And keeps me from going wrong

 

Your love is to be unconditional

No matter what I do

Whether I sing and shine

Or slip and fall anew

 

I'm supposed to be your girl,

Golden no matter what goes on

Free from your harsh words

That might torment me all day long

 

But this is all different

Than what between us is

The connection to these words

Is only in the difference.

 

Your "mhm"s and "uh-huh"s

are cold and uninterested

Your words make my eyes fill

With the tears you're not worth.

 

Sometimes I think

If you would change

just one little thing

That I could love you more

And you would hate me

that little bit less.

 

But though I hate you

for everything you're not

And though I wish

at times that you were dead

I know that I love you

And would miss you sorely if you left.

 

For you are my idol

My father

My daddy

And at times I can forgive you

for everything you haven't done

Because of this one pure fact.

Author's Note

Just something I wrote after my dad was unresponsive again, and how I'd tried so hard to make him happy these past few days with little thanks.