What You Were To Me

Where are you? I wish I knew where. I'd chase after you, I'd hold you tight. I'd never let go, even if you said good bye.

You taught me so much, but taught me so little. You gave me so much and you took most of it away, leaving me with scraps of paper, where there once was a pile of books. How to be strong, how to be mean, how to survive, how to die. You taught me all this, you sung it to me while I slept. You held me up when others pushed me down. When the world was against me, you were telling them to go, you'd beat them all someday.

And then you left. You left without so much as a good bye. Or did you just whisper it in the night, while I was asleep? I don't remember, how could I remember something that never happened? But I remember one thing. I remember how you held me up, how you kept me strong, how you set the example for me, an example I could reach. An example I reached. I remember how you wiped my tears away and damned the world to hell. I remember how you made me laugh after everyone made me cry.

And its all these good memories that make me feel lonely. Its how I had them all in my hand, and then they were all blown away.

I hate you for that. I hate you for that, but its not the thing I hate you for the most. I hate you the most because I realize that it was my fault. My fault for it all.

I didn't ask you to stay. I didn't beg you. I didn't hold you tight. I didn't do anything I was supposed to. And now? Now its too late. Its too late and I hate you for it.

Thats one thing you taught me, left on those scraps of paper. To hate others, not myself. Too bad I didn't learn it better, because I still hate myself, even if this isn't one of the cases.

You'll see this and you'll ignore it. You won't come back and I don't expect you to. You're gone, and I know that. Doesn't stop me from dreaming, from wishing. Doesn't stop me from wanting, for if it did, I wouldn't be here right now. I'd be smiling somewhere else, not remembering your face.

I'm standing on my own two feet, no matter how shaky they might be, and I'll walk forward, leaving you behind. I won't be the one sitting in the dust, staring dumbly at the retreating shadow of my hope. I'll be the one walking away, while you sit.

And for some reason, I believe this was your intention all along.

Reviews

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I love the somewhat happy ending. Where after all that doubtfulness that she couldnt live without that person. She finds courage in herself to go on. Nic story of a broken heart and a persons revalation.