Do You Miss Me Too?

A reflection about an old friend with whose friendship fell to shambles over a simple phone call

You know, I sit here sometimes, and I wonder about where you are. I don't know if you ever wonder about me, and frankly, I don't really care. I can't very well make you think of me, I can't even make you talk to me.

Your picture makes me smile at the same time it makes me want to cry. We were once so happy, so innocent, and now? Now I don't recognize you. Now we don't even say one word to each other. I can't even remember the last time I talked to you, though I think it might have been that day so long ago, over the phone, when the world crashed around me, and I never knew it.

I always thought things were permanent back then. I'd always be loved, the sky would always be clear, the water pure, and we'd be friends forever. Now it seems that all that has gone to hell, and I see how foolish I was. We were. Because I'm sure you thought the same thing, even if you won't admit it.

The thing I must be most sorry about would be all the excuses I made for you. No, I'm not sorry how poor they were. I'm sorry because I did them for you, and in the end, it didn't even matter.

Maybe one day we will meet on the street. Maybe one day we'll somehow find each others emails. And that day, maybe we will strike up a conversation.

Why do I not believe that, though? Why do I feel like laughing and crying at the same time when I think of that? Maybe because it will never come true. I can't forget, nor forgive, and I don't know if you can either. If any conversation arises, it will be of the polite sort, with fake smiles and faker compliments. We will talk about the weather and how grown we have gotten, and maybe even venture about how silly it was to be separated like this. But it would be a lie. All of it. And the biggest lie of all would be how stupid the split really was, because, to me, it was one of the worst things ever, and it still hurts today. It brought my simple little world crashing down, and thats something I won't ever forgive you for. Its impossible. I'm sorry.

So I've got to go. I've got friends to see, just as you do. I've got things to do, just like you do. I might see you in the street, you might see me at the mall, but that will be it. Our lives will not connect anymore. I couldn't be friends with you id I wanted. I can't be friends with someone I cannot forgive at all.

I'm sorry. And I'm not sorry. Good-bye.

Reviews

[White Rose]

Wow, that's good. Sad, but very good. I liked it.