Merriment

short and simple...

The briny horizon seems very complacent,

And the boy muses, with pristine glee,

On the wooden bench with love signs,

Though much is awaiting him; yeah, carefree

he sits on, musical and dreamy.

 

Then the love signs strike him so sharply,

And his rusty heart springs up

To look for her again, outside his palm.

He should’ve made her his long ago even if

It would have lasted one minute.

Reviews

[Reeti]

The starting represents the perfection of the scene around the love-struck boy. He describes it as 'very complacent' one to induce him to 'pristine glee' while he contemplates of the marvels to come. none of that can be denied. then, the second stanza is boldly striking with the symbolical presence of the missing woman he loves. as the lover sits 'on the wooden bench with love signs', i can sense that there is deep nostalgia being felt by him. Now, i am guessing that she may be in his palm because there is a photo of her that he has been holding on to. Or, perhaps, another material which reminds him of her. A wedding ring or locket belonging to her. I'm interested to know what u've had in mind.
Your explanations are surreal. I really admire how the yearning of a man has been expressed succinctly with varied emotions (relief, appreciation, regret, loneliness etc.) to it.

[EMMIE]

Just happened to stumble across your poetry. This is very interesting and unique written with style. Love it!

[Amit Parmessur]

thank you!

[DepthWriter]

A love balances on the axis (of love to be, or bygone), of musical and dreamy. I love your ending lines, as it ties the entirety together... Well done~

[Amit Parmessur]

thank you!

[emmajoy]

Dreamy indeed, that sign has much to answer for .. a lover waits, and waits, perhaps, too long .. sad words but finely written.

[Amit Parmessur]

thank you!

[Cassie Fraga]

I really enjoyed this... short and simple yes... but packs a punch... your play on words in this piece was AWESOME!! and the ending was BRILLIANT!! great job!!!