To a friend I’ve never seen

I asked what she’s looking for

The self I lost, she said

I asked if she’s around,

Just a walk away she replied

I asked where she’s at

She pointed at the cross roads

I asked her to draw me a map

She drew a line

She drew a curved line

She drew a circle, a perfect circle

She stood in the center,

Brave, without a mask

With her arm raised,

Pointing at the beginning

Which was the end which was the beginning,

Which was the……………..

Honest with her soul bared on the screen

In black and white for all to see

Like the rest of us try to do,

But this wasn’t trying, it was real.

 

(I wonder what she looks like,

This friend that I’ve never seen)

 

Reviews

[The Raven King]

This seems to be a personal poem. I feel like an outsider intruding on a private thought in which some things are revealed and others are impossible for a mind, other than the author's, to decipher. I like your use of syntax for the most part, but I think you should read it out loud to yourself. There are some parts where the rhythm and tempo seem a bit off and it slows down the pacing. I think if you take out a word here or there that do not add to the poem it will add speed and purpose to the piece. I believe you meant to spell wander as wonder in the second to last line. I did enjoy it, but I wish I was smarter in my ability to decipher the subject matter.

[Canicus]

going in circles not know what you're looking for. this state of confusion isn't fun. good write keep it up

[O!]

I asked where she’s at
She pointed at the cross roads

...i just love 'cross roads' in this context....very surprising answer from this friend u havent seen, but then again, it shows how good the 'bond'

x,
O!

[thoughts of jade]

this is a wonderful poem

[.......]

insighful and yet simple, nicely written and expressed.

[Gracie-San]

This was simple, yet beautiful. Although, I feel a little confused after reading it two times. I have to agree with The Raven King in the fact that it's a personal poem and how the rhythm and tempo seemed a little off.

But other than that, I really liked it and I wished I could understand it a bit more.

[miSS LEaf]

this looks suspiciously simple, or maybe it simply is :) interesting
~L

[Liza]

This was very simple but insightful
Reminds me of a gray time
Confusion
between transition from old self to new

[J Carly]

I decided to read and review some of your work, since I haven't done that in quite a while. I am so very glad I started with this piece. I, like others, felt like I was intruding on your privacy while reading this. Like tiptoeing through your dreams. I tend not to adhere to rules when it comes to writing poems, believing that true poetry has no form, and flows freely from the soul of the poet. So, I could find no flaw in this masterpiece. You allowed readers a glimpse at your soul. Which, is the exact brand of bravery described and so admired within this piece. I hope you let her read this. Brilliant work.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

When I started reading this, I did not get the idea behind this piece. But gradually, as I came near the middle I got the true essence behind it. I found it surely very thoughtful and something with which we all can relate ourselves with.
Great work man!

[MagiCrystal]

What is right and what is wrong?
A soul that has never showed the light
What a masterpiece...such a magical intrigued ending
wow.. you blow my mind.. in this verses
I desire.. to see this soul
to show the light...
the ending .. a Mystery with no end...aw