The Get Away

 

 

I wish that you were here, I wish that I was not,

So I send you this postcard, from my blue side.

I thought I’d win the race, but I was taken for a ride,

I’d love to stop and chat, but I think I better hide.

 

All the gold I was promised,

And all the fruit I was to harvest, turned to mud.

You said it was gonna be easy, but you lied,

Why did you lie?

 

I wish that you were here, I wish that I was not,

So I send you this postcard from my blue side.

I look forward to tomorrow, cause I might find a way,

But all that’s gonna happen, I’ll be older and more grey.

Wasting my life away, from day to day to day

 

All the gold I was promised,

And all the fruit I was to harvest, turned to mud.

You said it was gonna be easy, but you lied,

Why did you lie?

 

I wish you were here, I wish to get away,

To where I could send no postcards,

But you could send me a prayer.

I wish to get away, so won’t you send me a prayer?

Wishing my life away, from day to day to day,

I wish to get away, so send me a prayer.

Reviews

[The Raven King]

I like the way you used the cliched line "Wish you were here" found on a billion postcards since the invention of postcards. No criticisms here. I really like this piece, but I would like to say if you are a musician or know one make this into the lyrics to a badass song. Your words here would make great song lyrics.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This was so raw and so so beautifully penned, I felt like as if you have ripped your heart out here.
Loved it :)

[R J Askew]

I cld send you a postcard from the older and grey side now! You wonder if that little dribble is a sign of something sinister setting in. And you wonder who the hell all these jokers are who say people can have a great sex life when they are 86! Ferkin hell! I like the idea of getting away inside the self. I wonder if I've spent half my life doing just that. I then wonder which is the right place to be in the self? Am I on the wrong side without realising it? Commuting to an office box. The mind is a rich and varied place with all kinds of place to venture to. Send more postcards.

[John McGrael]

this is not what i was expecting at all... but in a good way

heres your prayer

[katep1313]

You express your despair very well....its pain that I recognize all too well. I, personally, like the repetition of "why did you lie"...thats a great question. I enjoyed this very much.
a prayer,
kat

[Life is A"Musing"]

I have learned that if some people’s promises were waited on, we would be waiting in limbo forever.
The pain in your words is felt within the passions that are held inside all the turbulent emotions experienced. I am sending you prayers.
For wishes for new days of renewal strength; as well as the knowledge that this time will pass and you will find one that loves you in a way that you deserve!
Well written ~ Judi :-)

[Emily B]

this is me, sending you a prayer

[QuietPoet]

Very deep write. I felt the emotion and saddness. You poured your heart out in this one. Nicely done.

[Sean M. Addams]

a very interesting piece ..like the contrast of this write and thought the rhyme was good in this too... overall a very deep read...nice work!!

[Michael X]

reads like lyrics. the ending needs work imo. it has many great features like flow and rhythm but lacks originality. if you revise this, let me know
i wil give this a 100/100 for detail on flow