Frantic

 

Food to eat and a place to live,

Someone to hold and wheels on the road

These are the thoughts that I like to hold

As time speeds up, life gets hard,

Should I raise the stakes or should I fold my cards?

Should I live in a world of fantasy?

And keep on dreaming of what might be,

Should I keep on dreaming?

Should I head for the mountains and hide in a cave?

Pretend I’m free and pretend I’m brave?

Should I keep on pretending?

Should I keep on dreaming?

Should I keep on running?

Should I keep on hiding?

Time is speeding,

My head is spinning

The storm is coming,

I can’t keep running.

Should I raise the stakes?

Or should I keep on pretending?
I can’t keep on pretending

I can’t keep on dreaming

I can’t keep on running

The storm is coming.

 

Reviews

[emmajoy]

You've written sincere or considered thoughts in this poem, and, as it moves along, becomes more frantic - which is why you've used that title. We get caughty up in life, never content, always looking for something more or out of reach until we're taken over by desperation ..

'Time is speeding, ~ My head is spinning ~ The storm is coming, ~ I can't keep running. ~ Should I raise the stakes? ~ Or should I keep on pretending? ~ I can't keep on pretending ~ I can't keep on dreaming ~ I can't keep on running ~ The storm is coming.'

Those lines somehow remind me of the poem 'The Scream'

[The Raven King]

Love the downward spiral feeling of this leading to the end of this piece. Very dramatic

[Liza]

so true, we can't keep denying but frantic panic of the inevitable doesn't feel so great....thank you for sharing this, it was calming.

[Dianah]

I love the way you built this up.

[QuietPoet]

This was a deep write. I felt the emotion and it had nice flow. Someone once told me to never run, you'll only get tired. And they were right.

[Norma J. Jessee]

Very emotional and as the title implies ( frantic ) piece. Striving frantically to find answers to all the questions going through ones mind. What to do........ Should I stay... should I leave.... should I run ... or should I stay and face the problem.
Sounds as if the writer's is faced with a relationship thats going bad. He or she wants to leave but doesn't want to either so they are weighing the pro and cons. It's coming to the point where they are faced with this issue of whether they go on pretending that things are all right and stay for the sake of having a place to live and eat and someone to be with or face up to reality that the relationship is over and their happiness is at stake and its time to move on with their life.
Very well written. Love the frantic feel and pace. The reader can actually feel the emotion at work in this piece. The turmoil is building and as the last line says, ( the storm is coming )

Brilliant title for this. Love it.

[BLACKCRUSH]

I feel like this write is about trying to get a hold on ones emotions , I could be wrong.This is a intense piece full heart pounding imagery.As always your work is thought provoking which I enjoy, another great piece.

[Lauren Marie]

I liked this. Dark poetry is so wonderful, because there are many hidden meanings within it. Perhaps we'll never know why you wrote this?

But take a look at this:
"Someone to hold and wheels on the road
These are the thoughts that I like to hold"
You used the word "hold" twice. I would suggest changing one of them, so that the word doesn't jump out at the reader. Maybe "Someone to kiss" instead? I think that could work.

I always love your writing, and this piece is no exception.
Great job!
~Lauren

[deeps]

I like this
This is a wonderful emotin filled write here.
Wonderfully expressed