She Is Dying

 

 

She’s looking sick, she’s looking frayed

She’s looking old, she’s looking gray

Her sister visits every night,

But she’s lost the will, to live and to fight

I taught them love and harmony,

But they kill each other and they are killing me,

They’ve grown so vicious all my kids

How did they turn to such bad seeds?

I gave them all a good mother should,

I gave them shelter and I gave them food

Did I give too much?

Am I to blame?

They could have been so happy,

It’s such a shame,

I tried to teach them with all my might

To leave in peace and not to fight

 

Sister Moon is crying, mother Earth is dying

She’s looking sick, she’s looking frayed

She’s looking old, she’s looking gray

Is it really so surprising?

That my temperature keeps rising

Should I be apologizing?

For them, or to them

Or to you my beautiful radiant sister,

Sister Moon is weeping, mother Earth is sleeping

She’s looking sick, she’s looking frayed

She’s looking old, she’s looking gray

(And that night on the way home, the Moon thanked god for not having any children, and said a prayer for her sick sister, as she wept).

Reviews

[The Raven King]

Wow! No suggestions. This hits a chord with me because I'm writing a story about a sentient planet. Like the reveal in the middle. I love when the writer gives life and consciousness to our world and the things around us. Great way to judge humanity from the outside looking in while being trapped inside. What ingrates we are. Good job.

[MagiCrystal]

Dying...a word that we all going to find out .. the meaning
a crazy way to explain there's no such a thing....
A path to go home...going home in a second
Mercy ... grace... love this poem

[Tina Kline]

This has great flow to it, could just about hear it as a song. Very tragic yet very well written poem. Very powerful in its pain.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This was so true and thoughtful.
I mean, I really loved this piece...It is definitely a very strong piece of writing and the opening lines are simply outstanding.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem.

[Lauren Marie]

This was a great piece! As soon as I discovered the characters, I re-read the poem again. It has a great message, and it flowed flawlessly together.
Good job!
~Lauren

[Butterflymom]

WOW, this is powerful ! You have expressed the sentiment brilliantly!

[LJW]

Honestly, I am not a fan of rhyming poetry, especially rhyming poetry that deals with intense subjects.

I think you could say what you've said here, and have it make more of an impact, without rhyming.

[Jemma]

Very emotional. the way you kept saying
"She's looking sick, she's looking frayed
She's looking old, she's looking gray"
Brang the poem to a whole new level.
It really did make it. it flowed through most of it really well.
Great write.

[deeps]

Wow! This is wonderful and truth spoke, I loved your last stanza.
Well written write here.