Missing peace

A Poem by Mina Salva

"I've lost trust" is the sentence that says it all about this poem.

Is this a big fake globe?
No trust, no smile, no look in the eye
What's the worth of living when we keep our trust to our selves?
Am I just an autumn dead leave, who anyone can pass by and crumble me into tiny pieces?
My stomach's tied into knots, I'm afraid to what I'll find
I don't think I'll make it, and face it
I need someone who would listen to my words, look to my eyes and tell me things will be better
Where are you someone?
I'm worrying about who loves me, instead of who hates me
My friend stabbed my shoulder with the knife, instead of my hater
Who would believe this is real? I wouldn't have, until it happened to me
What hurts the most is being so close to this person
The person who used to tell "I love you", exchanged secrets
Told him your flaws and insecurities, your past and future
Lived together the presence
I'm afraid to everything what might come along, as I've seen this cruel world since I'm young
What's waiting for me as I get older?
I can cry, joining my tears with the rain, as I watch it pour swifter then ever
I want to hurt, if I've lost already everything so why not?
I can't bear anymore, I don't want to fight against
Can a pure truth wound you forever more than a loss?
Are we humans? or are we something else?
Can a brother judge his own dying brother from a disease?
Can a daughter forget the woman who gave her the opportunity to step on this earth?
Can a mother forget her little precious diamonds?
Can a father abuse his wife who cried for nights to only see him?
Can a friend smile so warm to you then freeze your spine?
Can that boyfriend hold that smooth hand, kiss that freckled cheek, give her love then leave her broken?
Are we humans, I ask myself again
Do animals do the same as we do? Do they?
What about sunrise? what about rain?
What about forests? what about oceans?
What about air? what about sky?
Is there anything left, that can bring us peace alive?
A quiet corner, I want
To hide, escape
Faint, die and fade
Nothing is left, but my body alive but dead