Bruises

I was trying to capture the give-and-take in every abusive relationship, that neither party is fully innocent... both are guilty. At least, that is how I felt in my past relationships

It is not his allure,

Not even his charm or wit.

It’s not love or memories,

His smell, his kiss, his perfect fit.

 

She is not a doe-eyed innocent, pinned

By his predatory gaze. Her passivity hides

A cunning intellect; her naiveté is a slip

Of silk, concealing contentious intentions.

 

She is the only one who can clearly

See her situation: once she leaves him,

And the bruises fade, she will be just another

Lonely girl, invisible to the world.

 

He is not vicious by nature,

Nor prone to salacious behavior. His confessions

Of love are voracious, and hers veracious.

Each will consume the other

In the darkening hue of every new bruise.

Author's Note

suggest titles, flow and word changes if necessary. do I get my message across as clearly as I intend?

Reviews

[Libby McKeown]

It reads very well, but spoken aloud you may hear some natural vocal disruptions (concealing contentious intentions is definitely a mouthful). The first stanza has a compact, very neat rhythm, and this contrasts with the second one which is much more elaborate. Overall, the poem builds a solid story, and draws the reader in because it's not just another "whoa is me" or "life is pain" poem. It stings a little, and I appreciate your ability to reach through the screen and make me frown in concentration. The last two lines are genius. You are very talented.