Enchantress

 

This Enchantress that haunts me,

Is like someone I’ve never seen.

Her eyes pierce right through me,

But yet I do not bleed.

 

Her passion I invoke,

To come join me in a dance.

Two bodies entwined together,

In some mystical midnight trance.

 

This, which I cannot have,

Makes me want it more.

As though I’m a transient,

Banging on the door.

 

How can I make,

This temptress see?

The greatness of life,

That’s buried inside me.

 

I hear her voice,

In every passing dream.

And I awaken with a shudder,

As a deer caught in the beams.

 

If she knew what I felt is true,

What might that effect?

Would it make a ripple in her heart?

I can only suspect…

 

This Enchantress I must have,

For one glorious night.

Then maybe I will finally see,

My paths eternal light.

Reviews

[closed account]

ooooh loved it!! the mystery of not having what you desire is very sensual!!
sometimes the thought of something is greater then having it!! well maybe...lol

I guess you will never know until you take her!!!! lol

loved it you did great!!

[Michael X]

this is a bit overly punctuated and the form could use some touch up referring to line breaks and rhythm,
overall not bad, if you could install a syllable structure, this would hit phenomonally in flow and form
as it is, great job, thanks for sharing your talent