Days

Chapter Two in a series of poems that form The Molly Diaries

When the sun rises,
I don't wish to rise.
But when the sun sets,
I can't close me eyes.
I paint, I draw
I hang sketches 
On the wall.
I write poems,
I take pictures
Of natures beauty
And I am perfectly content.

Reviews

[theking]

One thing that kind of tripped my up while reading this poem was the inconsistent rhyming scheme. I see a lot of people on the Cafe doing this, and it seems to have become the status quo for how a lot of poems here are written. I would like that to change. Having a rhyme here and there, but in no particular order, screws with the rhythm and meter of the poem, and makes it more difficult to follow on paper.

I loved "When the sun rises,
I don't wish to rise.
But when the sun sets,
I can't close me eyes. "

I thought that that whole little quartet thing there was absolutely gorgeously done, and it was so creative yet so simplistic. I doesn't seem like something that would really spark my interests, but it definitely did, and it was what I enjoyed the most out of the whole poem. I feel like that little piece of it was really great poetry, while the rest of it felt a bit too descriptive. Like, descriptive as in you are telling me more about your day than being particularly creative about it, if you know what I mean.

Also, another recommendation I would have is to change up the title a bit. I know that the poem is about your days, and technically the title does fit, I find that a lot of poetry has to do with how good the title is, for that is sort of the symbolism itself.

Keep up the good work, and rate my review if you found it helpful!

[Halice Osborne]

I love this!