Why Is Everything I Do Wrong?

It's sort of depressing. So I guess I'd recommend you to not read if depressing stuff gets to you.

Please God have mercy on my heart,
All these scars in it that have bled,
Have left me feeling as if I'm half dead,
Why can't things ever be as I want them,

Atleast let me leave this world,
Why is everything that I do wrong?
Why does everything I do seem wrong?
Why do you always tell me that I'm wrong?

And is it wrong to love him?
Is it not okay to love him?
Is it because with him I feel alive?
It feels as if with him I could survive,

But because of you I'll have to let that go,
The only real light that I ever found,
But because you have me bound,
Will I be lost in the dark, never found?

Why am I so weak and courage-less?
Why is my head such a mess?
And they say this is just life's test,
If so it's cruel, I'd rather have death,

I love him more than anything else,
But my demons won't let me love him,
If so I'll leave, I don't want to hurt him,
But letting go of the only thing that felt right,

So please oh Lord, have mercy on me,
I don't want to feel this pain anymore,
Why won't you have mercy on me?