A letter of disappointment

Story about a man who has lost all faith from his career and how he rediscovers his passion for writing.

Mr.Bose came rushing into my office almost shattering my glass door into pieces. He stood there with a face which showed no sign of amusement. He walked to me, my boss, and handed me a letter. I knew what it said even though I hadn’t read it. I knew I was fired. I had messed it up.

*Ten years ago*

“Again! Just 25 out of 50! Have you lost all your faith from studying?”

My dad looked at me in disbelief. Anger in his eyes scared me. I walked away with a tear streaming down my face, still with no feeling of regret or self-reproach. This had been like the seventh test in which I had just succeeded to pass. I wasn’t unhappy because  I scored bad in the test but because I knew I was going to be a failure in life.

Newton and Einstein never fascinated me the way Shakespeare and Dickens did. But I knew I was left with no other choice than to understand the alien world of science and give up my desire to be an Arts student. I never belonged to science but I was here and I knew I had to deal with it and move on.

 

I walked aimlessly on a road with nothing to distract me, hands in my pockets. I had no earphones to take me into the world of music nor a smartphone that could make me smarter. A cold breeze couldn’t make me colder. The fear I had ten years ago of being a failure was turning true. I had lost my job (Though I knew it was meant to happen one day because I worked for an IT firm. Duh.) I smirked to myself and sat on a bench that faced the pond, embracing my solitude.

What could have I been if I never chose science? What if I could have showed some courage and walked up to my father and convinced him to let me pursue Arts? I could have been something much more than just a boring software engineer. Maybe I could be a writer or a journalist. Or maybe simply where I am right now.

A sweet melody (which I assumed was from a flute) overtook my preoccupied mind off from jobs and failure. I saw a little girl of about eight years sitting by the pond and playing a flute (Yeah, I was right about the flute).

I couldn’t stop myself and before I knew, I was walking toward her. Silently I sat next to her, making no noise to disturb her. She kept playing for another minute engrossed in her art. When she finally stopped and looked at me, I thought I would scare her. But instead she smiled at me. Her smile was pure and innocent.

“How did you like it?”

“It was fabulous. But what are you doing here at such an odd hour?”

“Um..I live in that orphanage.”, she said pointing across the road.

“You don’t need to feel awkward. I am nine years old and all these years have passed and I have no idea who my parents are. It doesn’t quite matter anymore, all that matters is that I know I am going to be a famous musician someday. I will make a life for myself. You know you should get my autograph. Might help you later.”

I looked at her bewildered. Her mere desire to achieve something in life shone in her eyes. Her confidence baffled me. This girl had the hope I never had. Nobody to guild her but she still lived with such courage to make a life for herself. Today I felt ashamed of myself. All these years I blamed my parents for not letting me pursue my dreams. Only to know today that it was me who was never driven by such a strong passion to speak up for myself and convince the world.

I stood up smiling back at her. Today I knew I couldn’t be confused anymore. I had to discover myself. For the first time, I knew I couldn’t be a failure. I walked back to the road I had come from.  

Author's Note

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