2

I turn on my heels and hit my head against a hard chest.

 

“Sorry, I’m so sorry, I should have been paying more attention” The words tumble out of mouth, I’m entirely flustered.

 

“Lex its fine, are you okay?” I look up to be met by a set of kind blue eyes, I knew I recognised that voice; it was JJ’s band mate Ash. The concern across his face made me think that maybe I wasn’t doing so well at hiding the hurt I was feeling, it probably was a good idea just to get out of here.

 

“Yeah Ash I’m fine, I don’t mean to be rude but I was just leaving”

 

“Didn’t you come here to see JJ? All you’ve done is stare at that door”

 

Crap he must have been stood there longer than I thought.

 

“How long exactly have you been stood there Ash?” I sighed.

 

“Let’s just say I thought you knew it was rude to eavesdrop” He smirks.

 

I give him a playful hit on his shoulder, and he feigns terrible pain clutching his shoulder, causing me to forget my anger momentarily and let out a little giggle. Before hearing JJ’s laughter from the kitchen again, instantly switching my mood back. For the first time since I’ve known him that laughter isn’t infectious, it’s annoying, I better get out of here before I march into that kitchen and bounce his head off the counter.

 

“Lex… Lex?”  I had completely zoned out into my own world, lost in my own thoughts, my own violent daydreams.

 

“I said I’m sure he didn’t mean it. You always end up back to being best mates after stuff like this anyway. It’s his birthday just go in and see him for gods sake”

 

“No Ash. I won’t just go in and see him. I don’t care if it’s his birthday, why say something he didn’t mean. I’m sick of it, it’s tiring. The back and forth is too much for me to deal with anymore and if he can’t chose one I’m choosing for him. I’m going back to London” My chest was flushed red in anger, and I’m pretty sure my attempts to stay as quiet as I could so JJ wouldn’t hear were beginning to fail.

 

“It’s the middle of the night you won’t be able to get on a plane now, plus you only just got here, Lex stop being so ridiculous” I could tell he was stifling a giggle at my outburst I think he always found me to be quite funny when I’m angry.

 

“Just tell him I couldn’t make it” I sighed as I started to leave; Ash gently grabbed my wrist and spun me round so I was facing him.

 

“Oh so now you want me to lie for you” He was smirking.

 

“Well yes, thanks, it’s not like I haven’t lied for you is it?” I shot at him.

 

His sparkling blue eyes stared into mine for almost a second too long before conceding defeat and releasing me from his hold.

 

“There are other people in this band who like having you around too you know” I only just heard him whisper as I started to push through people making my way towards the door.

 

“Lex Be Careful!” I heard Ash shout softly in my direction just as I reached the front door.

 

At that moment I heard the Kitchen door swing open and JJ’s voice above all the background noise.

 

“What’s all the commotion Ash? I could have sworn I heard Lex?” He sounded almost excited when he said my name and that crushed me a little, but I knew I had to walk away. He had to know how much this was hurting me.

 

As I walked through the front door I willed myself not to turn around, not to even glance over my shoulder. I knew I had to do this or I would spend my whole life being walked all over.

 

I pulled out my phone, used the app to book a cab and sat myself down on the sidewalk, as it’s called over here, to wait.

 

I’d go back to my hotel look up the next available flight home and then head to the airport. Simple.      

Author's Note

any feedback welcomed.