1

Here's what I have written so far.

I groaned, and Henry patted my back gingerly. My stomach turned as we rolled over another wave and I swallowed back the bile that rose in my throat. What a fool I'd been! What on earth could have possessed me to even consider this?

"There, there," Henry said stiffly. "We'll be at Esler Port before you know it."

"Damn ocean," I moaned. "Why do we have to keep moving?"

Henry gave me an uncertain smile. "You'll get your sea legs soon enough."

I glared at him through my nausea. He dropped his eyes and shuffled across the deck, grumbling something about ladies not using that kind of language, and how I'd dragged him into this was beyond him anyhow. I fumbled and sat up against the crate I'd been leaning on. The air was thick and damp, and despite my layers of skirts and cape I was shivering from the cold. Henry saw the movement.

"Why don't we go up to the main deck? Fresh air might do you some good." I nodded and he took my hand to help me stand. Henry helped me climb the little ladder as I unsteadily rose to see the sky. I held back another wave of nausea and clung to Henry's arm as he led me to a simple wooden bench outside the captain's quarters. I clenched my teeth and sat down, waiting for my stomach to settle.

A burly man watched me curiously, and when he finished securing some kind of knot to the side of the ship, he approached me.

"Yer a woman," he said plainly. "Wotcher doin' on a pirate ship?"

I held my abdomen and met his stare as I tried not to look at Henry. "It's a long story."

He noted my greenish color and my hand on my stomach. "Not used to th' sea?" When I nodded, his mouth curved into a friendly smile of crooked, yellow teeth. "Ye get a feel fer it after a couple o' days." He stuck a hand out, which I shook cautiously. "I'm Bishop."

Henry pushed the pirate's hand away from me. "I am Henry Couth, and this is my cousin Piper."

Bishop looked surprised at Henry's reaction to him. "Wot's the trouble, 'enry?"

"Yes, Henry, what's wrong?" I asked innocently.

Henry's jaw dropped slightly. "Well--he's... He's a Pirate, Piper!" Henry sputtered.

"Yer on a pirate ship, boy. Didja fig're I'd be some kind o' royalty?"

I bit back a smile.

"You just shouldn't be touching her," Henry grunted stubbornly. "She's a lady."

I blinked at stared up at him. "I'm no lady--not a proper one, anyhow. I wanted this!" I gestured at the deck at toppled over as we rolled over another wave. Henry started for me, but Bishop already had caught me and set me back upright.

"Ye'll be fine," he assured me. "Jest give it a day er two."

Henry's jaw tightened as Bishop walked away. "We're leaving at the next port, be it Esler or not." He folded his arms and paced a bit in sharp, angry strides. "Pirates," he spat. All of his shy uncertainty had combusted into this righteous fury. "Damn it, Piper! You said they were mercenaries!"

I felt my cheeks redden but said nothing.

"'Oh, please, Henry,'" he quoted me, "‘we'll just sail along--no trouble at all! Nothing to worry about, Henry--they're just some ragtag traders.'" He snorted. "Ragtag traders, indeed. How dare you talk me into this, you horrid, ungrateful girl!" In his anger, he swung around and kicked the wall of the captain's quarters. I winced as the bench I sat upon shook from the impact.

Henry flopped down onto the bench beside me, uttering a few curses under his breath. Just then, the door to the captain’s quarters swung open. A tall, commanding man strode out and stood to face Henry and me.

“You kicked my cabin,” he stated. He did not sound angry, but Henry squirmed under his gaze. “Is there an issue?”

“No, sir, captain,” Henry grumbled.

The captain nodded gruffly at Henry before he turned to me. He looked at me for a moment before a huge grin broke over his face.

I smiled a queasy smile back at him. “Hello, Dunbar.”

He tipped his hat to me. “Piper.” At my expression, his brow furrowed. “What’s the matter, Pipes? Not happy to see me?”

I laughed and pointed at the water. “I’m sea-sick, Dunbar.”

Henry made a few disbelieving sounds as he looked from me to Dunbar and back again. “You…and…he…and…” He looked back to Dunbar with wide eyes. “Pirate!” he squeaked.

Dunbar blinked at Henry, and then spoke to me. “Is he all right?”

“Um…” I watched Henry doubtfully. “I may have forgotten to tell him that this was a pirate ship until…now.”

Dunbar laughed. “What are you doing here, Pipes?”

“I could ask you the same question, Eustace.” He cringed defensively. “Whatever happened to your cartography job? Did the Bluebell cease to be good enough for you?” A pink scar I didn’t recognize ran down Dunbar’s cheek, marring the otherwise flawless skin of my memory. It had been years since I’d seen him, but his clever hazel eyes were exactly the same as they’d been when I waved him off to the Bluebell. His hair was longer, but it was clear that he’d tried to cut it himself; the sandy-brown curls were chopped unevenly so that bits brushed his eyebrows while other sections very nearly touched his eyes.

“That’s not really important right now,” Dunbar said, effectively pulling me out of my reverie. “The reason for your being on my ship, however, is critical information.” He studied me with a look that encompassed fondness with disapproval and scratched his dark stubbly chin. “How did you get onboard in the first place?”

I smiled with an uncomfortable, childish shame. “Stowed away in the--“

“In the cargo hold,” he finished with a wry grin. “Of course.”

Henry, apparently recovering from his speechlessness, asked, “How did you know that?”

Dunbar looked at Henry in mild surprise. Then he nodded toward me, a gleam in his eye, and answered. “We used to pretend we were going to run off--you know, get away from school and parents and the like--and we’d make up these elaborate plans of exactly how we’d make our escape. One of our favorites was stowing away in the cargo hold of a pirate ship.”

Off of Henry’s questioning look, I hastily explained. “Dunbar used to live in the flat next to ours. Mother’s and mine, I mean. He’s four years my elder, but we were close enough in age to become great friends.”

“Friends, yeah!” Dunbar roared with laughter. “Except when you were eleven and decided that you fancied me!”

“Still clinging to an ages-old memory, Dunbar? Seems a pity to still be so focused on me.”

Dunbar grinned, but suddenly our banter was interrupted, because a man of no more than eighteen--only a year older than I--had appeared and was saluting Dunbar as though it were a respectable merchant ship.

“Captain,” the man said shortly.

“As you were, Adrian,” Dunbar replied.

Adrian’s hand came down and his entire body relaxed. “So it’s true, then. Bishop said there was a girl on board.” He peered at me. “Some of the others were speculating about the reason for your presence. You certainly don’t look like a harlot to me.”

“Adrian!” Dunbar looked at him, stunned and put a hand on my shoulder. “This is Piper, a guest! There’ll be no harlot-ing!” He turned to me, almost as an afterthought. “Unless--“

“NO!” I cried. My entire head had to have been blood red, if the heat in my cheeks was any indication. “Absolutely not!”

Henry looked faint, and sat unsteadily on the bench beside me. He was probably trying to decide what was worse"people implying that I was a harlot or my knowing the word.

Adrian was looking at me, the corners of his mouth twitching upward with dry amusement.

“Absolutely not,” I repeated firmly.

A beat of silence passed before Adrian opened his mouth again to speak. “So why are you here?”

“I’m just riding along until we get to Esler Port.”

Henry coughed and glared at me. “Fine,” I amended, “until we get to the next port.” Henry nodded, satisfied.

“You’re heading to Esler?” Dunbar asked, surprise coloring his voice. “Why would you want to go there? That’s sorcerer territory!”

“It’s a rather long story,” I said.

Adrian raised an eyebrow and dryly asked if I had a pressing engagement that limited my time for stories.

I glared at him.

Dunbar, apparently choosing to ignore this little exchange said, “You’ll tell us at supper, then. That way you’ll only need to go through it once, and we can go ahead and take care of introductions then, too.”

I agreed, and Henry grunted with what I interpreted as irritated submission.

“Excellent,” Dunbar continued. “In the meantime, we’ll have to find you a place to bunk--unless you prefer the cargo hold?”

I smiled. “That would be much appreciated.” Henry nodded in agreement.

“Come along, then,” Dunbar grunted, motioning for us to follow. He led us around to another door. “This cabin usually goes to the first mate,” he explained as he opened the door. “I don’t have a first mate at the moment, so you two can take the room.”

Henry and I looked the small space over--a cot and a trunk sat along one wall, but all else was bare.

“I suppose I’m to sleep on the floor, then?” Henry sniffed pretentiously. I gritted my teeth and fought the urge to kick him.

Apparently his tone hadn’t escaped Dunbar’s notice, either. “You can fetch a cot from below deck,” Dunbar told him icily. “Assuming that a cot isn’t too meager of accommodations, sir.”

Henry flinched and grumbled unintelligibly before sulking out the door, presumably to retrieve the cot.

“Quite the charmer, isn’t he?” I turned to see Adrian leaning against the doorframe, a lazy smile drawn across his lips.

“He’s not so bad,” I said defensively. For some reason, that lazily confident smile pushed my patience to near-breaking.

Reviews

[Chivalry]

Really interesting. The "long story" is an awesome hook, to get someone to want to keep reading. I'm genuinely curious. Just a couple of things that I'm not sure about: your use of "school" and "flat". I'm obviously not familiar with the world you are creating, so take this with a grain of salt, but would this world have schools? Would it have flats? And if so, would it be called that? It seems pretty modern to me. I don't know, you're the only one that can answer, but it's something to give some thought. :)

[Amber Perry]

Okay, so I hadn't really thought of that. I'm trying to create my own sort of fantasy world, which is not easy and I'm definitely no expert. I like the idea that they'd still have schools (a little different from ours, but still some kind of learning institution), but now that I look back over this I agree that "flat" is probably a bad idea. What would you think to be a better solution to this problem? I still want Dunbar and Piper to have grown up next-door to one another, but in maybe huts? Cottages? Any suggestions would be much appreciated. :)

[Chivalry]

I think cottages would be good :D Or you could even just say that they lived next door. And I think that's a cool idea with schools, and has the potential to really add to your world.

[Patrick Jinks]

Like stated in a previous comment, the long story is very intriguing and made a good feature to an enjoyable chapter. The only thing I would say is I often found it hard to follow who was talking,, it wasn't immediately apparent 'I' was a girl, and there was a lot of 'he's and 'he said's and 'I's and I found the dialogue confusion at times. Not that that took away from the actual story, it just made it a little harder to read.

Also (just on the side), if you plan on adding more chapters it might be an idea to name the chapter, or at the very least call it 'Chapter One', instead of just '1'.