What you did.

I apologize again for the chapters out of order. I'll fix them later.

What if I say.                   

                                                       

there is something that happened along the line. maybe i feel to hard. maybe i didn't want to look at all the signs that were right in front of me. whatever it was i didn't pay attention. i wanted to take the risk. show everyone that i could handle myself. let everyone know that i am amber and i am tired of listening to them. well i ignored everyone that told me everything wouldn't go alright, told me to watch what i was doing, to be careful. i didn't want to listen and i didn't. i feel way to hard. harder than for anyone perhaps, but for whatever reason i went back for more. the fascination it brought. the distinct feelings that came and made you feel so alive because there was so very many different emotions. living like this can only turn bad. perhaps fact of the matter is i was tired of not taking that risk. not doing what i wanted to do that i just lost it and rebelled. maybe just maybe if i didn't think of the "what ifs" i wouldn't be writing this at this very second. what a thrill everything was. the making out in the parking lot of a church of no other. the hallways at school where at any moment someone could turn around the corner and see. maybe it was the fact that the school parking lot was even worse with a bunch of people leaving. nothing less but getting both of us into trouble. causing more drama than either of needed. some so close to being out. the other just beginning. everything ended in a not so blissful way. the one thing that happens because of everything is that you feel free, but under so much stress you are trapped by something you created.

 I lay awake at night looking at the white ceiling and think about everything that happened. it goes through my mind over and over again like it just happened. i remember the taste, the feeling of everything, and how i couldn't see anyone but that one certain person. for some reason i think that my heart got in the way. people always say let your heart point you in the right direction, but you also have to use a little thing called common sense. it will help you a lot in the long run. i may be just writing and this is totally irrelevant to your life, but this is one mistake i have learned from and there will be many more. 

Author's Note

Please excuse grammar, and spelling, or language. I'm going back and fixing everything shortly.

Reviews

[Amber Hardy]

Thank you.

[freaknkamikaze]

Nice, I love your writing ^^