A glance inside a seizure

A Story by A.marie.speaks

I randomly wrote this piece. Trying out a new style of writing.

Dead waves are droning through my brain at the moment. I can't even articulate a sentence. How badly I want to explain that I'm stuck in a cave that is shrinking rapidly, I'm hunched over as far as I can go but the walls are still pushing inwards. I can see the blackness engulfing my peripheral vision. Tunnel vision is real. It exists. And I always thought it was just an expression, stupid me. Staring into the light at the end of the tunnel, all I could hear was muffled and strange. I'm sure someone is yelling, asking me if I'm alright.. but I consumed by the beauty of this light. I know rationally, that I'm about to have one of my seizures, but something is different. The light is warm and I feel like I'm smiling.. I bet my face is contorted and gruesome looking to my observers but I feel undeniably happy. Why don't I feel the same.. Why am I conscious right now - every other time I've blacked out and don't remember a thing - usually at least 15 mins prior too the seizure. But here I am in a timeless land, suspended in reality. The light is so bright, but I think my eyes are closed tight even though I couldn't open them if I wanted. Like an opaque rainbow of shimmering sheerness I can make out colors but as soon as I acknowledge them they fade away and a new one surfaces, floats.. or blows away.. I can't tell if the air is too thick or I'm underwater. Whichever I am happy, there is not an ounce of fear in my soul. But as soon as I think it.. fear sneaks in. I think it was water around me because it feels like its freezing. The lake is freezing and I'm 20, 50, 100 miles from the surface? Frantically trying to kick my numb limbs in any way just to crack the ice. Even my head is bashing off the ice walls surrounding me..I can feel ice crystals forming in my lungs. Tightening the tissue, preventing me from inhaling. It creeps up my throat and into my mouth. My brain is a rock hard stone but my body is still jerking. It bashes against my skull and cracking is all I hear until the blackness takes over.

© 2016 A.marie.speaks

Author's Note

Randomized thoughts to express the strange situations I find myself in..

My Review

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Reviews

Nigel Newman

A marie hi. This is very powerful. You say you're trying a new style; well my feedback is 'continue .... with the utmost care and consideration ... but continue nevertheless'. I say care and consideration because this piece genuinely took me to unpleasant places and feelings; and I think it could have that effect on other readers as well. So, I'd say it worked. But I think that gives you, as the writer, some responsibility to think about the possible impact. Of course, one could argue for/against a writer having such responsibility, so I'll just leave the thought with you.

Couple of typo / spelling / grammar things
... [I'm] consumed by the beauty ...
... prior [to] the seizure ...
... Whichever[,] I am happy[;] there ...
... feels like [it's] freezing

Your imagery hits home, and for me there is a really strong sense of this being from your experience, either your own or someone very close. I think this 'truth' plus the sometimes almost staccato phrases work very well. This will sound a bit pretentious, but I could almost liken this to a cartoon style impressionist picture done with a relatively few thick brush applications seemingly added in a hurry.

Interesting!
Best regards, Nigel