don't be the nosy neighbor...

A Poem by A.marie.speaks

don't let the pride

of your own ideas

turn confidence into fears

listen with your ears

but also soul

know

that most have a goal

much like your own

to live happy, healthy, free

to watch their children grow

to feel connected

by some perspective

to some collective

greater than the self...

what the hell?

it's not affecting you directly

it's not your life

so why should you have the right

to dictate

what I can believe?

we can achieve so much more

if we explore

the beauty of diversity

instead of stomping it out

with negativity

you can help!

just let those "opinions" melt away

see the path and do not stray

the single ray -- the not-so-secret-way

that all the elders say..

"treat others as you would like to be treated"

© 2016 A.marie.speaks

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Reviews

3X3MPLER

"we can achieve so much more
if we explore
the beauty of diversity
instead of stomping it out
with negativity
you can help!" A powerful poem indeed. keep it up

Posted 8 Years Ago

7 Years Ago

thank you!

Nigel Newman

I find it fascinating where one's memory goes when triggered by reading. This instantly took me to a story of 'bad' parenting told to me recently, and how the teller who'd observed it so nearly intervened. I think there definitely are lines which behaviour, speech, etc should not cross, but these aren't 'my' lines. Mine may be drawn much more tightly for some things - to use your words, in my view there may only be one path.

But then I check myself and see things from others' perspectives. So for example, there was a story doing the rounds the other day in England of two men on a train who flatly refused to give up their seat to a disabled person who said she had reserved the seats for herself and her necessary bits and pieces. On the face of it, these two men were rude, heartless, etc but actually more information started to emerge, at which point the moral case against them was at least partially compromised.

OK so that's where the poem took me! Now some thoughts on the poem itself. I very much like your use of rhyme to connect the sequence of the argument, and found myself doing a slow almost rap read-aloud. What I found interesting is that you could have employed this rhyme linking much much more - yet you chose not to. So for example, the 'what the hell' section has 'self - hell' and 'believe - achieve' at the start and end, but is maybe missing a phonetic rhyme in the middle. Or maybe not (my path not yours!). Just a thought.

Slightly saddened to see that there have been 65 views of this since June 21st but I'm the first to add some comments. I think WC is a bit weird sometimes in which things seem to be reviewed vs overlooked. I've uploaded a few things over the last 6 weeks or so and had almost zero feedback, which doesn't stack up at all with how things were, say 6 months ago.

Anyway I like the poem and especially enjoyed saying it aloud. I like the way it triggered related thoughts.

Nice job!
Nigel

Posted 8 Years Ago

But then I check myself and see things from others' perspectives. So for example, there was a story doing the rounds the other day in England of two men on a train who flatly refused to give up their seat to a disabled person who said she had reserved the seats for herself and her necessary bits and pieces. On the face of it, these two men were rude, heartless, etc but actually more information started to emerge, at which point the moral case against them was at least partially compromised.

OK so that's where the poem took me!  Now some thoughts on the poem itself.  I very much like your use of rhyme to connect the sequence of the argument, and found myself doing a slow almost rap read-aloud.  What I found interesting is that you could have employed this rhyme linking much much more - yet you chose not to. So for example, the 'what the hell' section has 'self - hell' and 'believe - achieve' at the start and end, but is maybe missing a phonetic rhyme in the middle.  Or maybe not (my path not yours!). Just a thought.

Slightly saddened to see that there have been 65 views of this since June 21st but I'm the first to add some comments.  I think WC is a bit weird sometimes in which things seem to be reviewed vs overlooked. I've uploaded a few things over the last 6 weeks or so and had almost zero feedback, which doesn't stack up at all with how things were, say 6 months ago.

Anyway I like the poem and especially enjoyed saying it aloud. I like the way it triggered related thoughts.

Nice job!
Nigel

Rating /100