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A new beginning ended so quickly.
What was just started is now a memory of the past. How can I let go, when I thought we had something real? How can I walk away knowing that you are hurting?

The distance and not talking is killing me inside. I can't change your mind, so I must go on. I must continue on my journey without you by my side.

I lay awake at night missing your skin against mine. Trying to forget how it felt with your hair in my face and my chin in your neck. Our legs entwined like roots of a tree. We belonged together. The shape of our bodies fit the contours of each other.
The need to be close, but could never get close enough.

I sit here and think about the what ifs. What if I didn't get upset. What if I didn't pursue the possibilities of children. What if I didn't suffocate you with my need to be close.

These are thoughts that tear me apart. I know they are thoughts that need to stop, but how can I shut them off? How do you turn off the pleading sounds of the soul. "Give me another try". "Don't walk away, I can be what you need". "How can I make you see"?

I can't, I've tried. I am tortured by the feeling of defeat. The feeling that what I am, isn't good enough. Knowing that my soul will never be the same.

I have ended my plea, I can no longer look upon that face, and not seeing the bright shimmering eyes I fell for. Now I only see pain and hurt, that I have caused.

There is nothing more I can do but hold my head up, knowing I tried. I took a chance and I lived. The only hope left is that possibly one day, you will be mine again. That is all I need to continue.

With my final goodbye, I sign off with keep smiling that beautiful smile and keep those gorgeous eyes shining.

-A

Author's Note

First one ever written. Please be nice but honest.