Sadness

Just my thoughts.

I have a fear of expressing.

A fear of expressing the real me.

A fear that people will hate what I have to say.

A fear of being told “Your not allowed to write this.”

A fear of being judged of what I want to write. 

I can't be open.

Nor honest.

I have to hide behind a wall.

A wall that is too high for anyone to climb.

But which I mean to see the real me. 

I don't let them pass a certain point.

And if they do they are very very lucky.

I hate hiding.

But thats what ive been taught to do.

I've learned to hide behind a smile.

Because thats what ive learned to do. 

I am a girl with a heart broken in to 1000 pieces.

If I tell you ive been very busy lately.

I mean ive been sitting on the couch watching the same movie, 

over and over again.

I do this because what else is there to do,

When you can't bring yourself to do anything else. 

Im being open,

Open to the point that im uncomfortable.

I'm pushing myself to create this piece of writing.

Reviews

[Chris]

Welcome to becoming the person you're growing into. They don't seem to teach "dealing-with-life" as much anymore ...seems many more are left to fend for themselves -sink-or-swim. At least you seem to accept having to reach beyond yourself to find a path to walk upon - it IS a start. Was that movie any good - some are (in their own way).

Being real is hard, staying real is harder... walking your talk takes conscious effort. We're human, have flaws, and make mistakes. Welcome to our world.