Dreams.

 

My dreams were crushed;

No-one believed in me-

No-one cared enough to believe.

I no longer dream.

Even I don’t believe in myself anymore.

I don’t care enough to believe.

 

Author's Note

Critique?

Reviews

[J.P.]

Don't be mad at me for being so critical

1. Too much believe made it toooooo repetitive ----> Boredom. If that's the intended usage, it still did not get the message across because it is so boring. (sorry, that's kind of too honest).
2. It's not a stand-out poem because the subject matter and the attitude of the poem were just so over done by teenagers. There's a zillion out there where people just "lament" and "cry" over their misfortune, loose of faith, bad environment, bad society et cetera.
3. I think you could have improved the poem by drawing more imagery. For example, instead of just dreams, describe the dream and the crushing of it.

[tomboy]

I can feel the sadness in it. The perfect simplicity is there; it's short and sweet. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I think that the repetition of the word believe added a certain emphasis so that at the end the final line was very powerful.