Three's a Crowd

 

My name is Molly Amelia Ross and this is my story.

I think I was three when I first met him. Even at that age I knew that Finn Thompson was different than anybody else in the world.

At the age of three we only had two things in common, our elder brothers both had their hearts set on being in the army and both of our fathers had died in the army. My mother was never a strong individual from what I could remember and she committed suicide a full 25 minutes after we got “the knock” which was when two senior officers knocked on your door and once you had opened it they would be standing in their full dress uniform and tell you that your loved one had died or was missing. At the time of my father’s death Finn’s father was the most senior officer so he was the one along with another colleague who came to our door. Finn’s father was killed shortly after when he started another tour in Egypt. No one ever knew what happened to Finn’s mother she just left and never came back.

By the time we were seven we had three things in common both our brothers were in the army at the age of sixteen, we were both parentless and we both lived in the army village, next door neighbours in fact we moved in just before my father died and Finn moved in with his brother a couple of months after.

An army village is a place with about eight or so streets which were all conjoined and in every house there was at least one person who was currently in the army. It was easy for both of our families to get in to the army village as the commanding officers thought they owed it to our fathers.

Both of our households were pretty straight forward in mine there was my eldest brother Kyle, my twin brother Tom and me. In Finns house there was just him and his brother Jake.

With age, me and Finn grew closer and closer and from the age of four we were inseparable which made it easier to forget about the danger that Kyle was in when he went away on tours.

When we were about eight the boys our age started a football team which Finn and my twin brother both joined and they were both the star players and miles better than everyone else on the team.

One of the many things that we bonded on was our love for music we used to sing all the time to anyone who would listen and at the end of year party for the village to keep spirits up we would always perform as Finn learnt to play guitar and we both sang.

On my fourteenth birthday, which was in the middle of June, I had a barbeque it was fantastic except Finn was being very quiet which was unusual for him but I didn’t really take any notice. Then the day after I went to his house and all the stuff was gone and no one was there. I later found out from the football team that Finns brother Jake was stationed in Australia and they had to move out there and no one knew when they were coming back if they were coming back. I cried for weeks I didn’t want to speak to anyone but eventually I realised that he wasn’t coming back no matter how much I wanted him to so I pulled myself together and got on with my life.

 

Chapter 2

 

“Bye, see you later” I waved to my friends as I started to walk the rest of the way home from school which only took about 5 minutes. When I got in the door I shouted to see if my twin was home (we went to different schools and never told anyone we were related because it was easier to keep the village a secret that way so everyone thought that we only had one elder brother and that we did not even know each other) as usual he wasn’t so I went straight up to my room and then dumped my bag and got changed into my light denim skinny jeans and a pink crop top-as it was the end of June and hot- and I tied my loose curls into a messy bun on the top of my head.

I sat down on the coach and then the doorbell rang “I’m coming” I yelled as walking to open the door as I did I found the person on the other side extremely attractive he had dark hair in a small quiff and deep blue eyes and tanned skin, he was wearing a crisp white t-shirt which clung to his muscular frame and not too tight skinny jeans and a pair of blue vans. “Hi, can I help you?” I asked with I smile.                            “Em...Yeah sorry I’m Jack” he held out his hand and I shook it. “I was just looking for Marcus” He finished my heart sank a little Marcus is a really good friend of mine and I assumed that Jack was his boyfriend as Marcus is gay.

I suddenly realised that I had left Jack standing at the front door whilst I was in my day dream I put on my black converse then locking the door I said “follow me”.   

“So, have you lived here long…sorry what was your name?” Jack asked.                     “Oh sorry, I’m Molly and I’ve lived here just over 11 years”                                         “that’s a long time to live in one place”               “it’s nice and peaceful, I like it here”                       “so have you know Marcus long?” he asked staring at me with his deep blue eyes. “Ever since Marcus moved here when he was five, we became really close because there was a local football team which he was in and I used to go and see all of the games” I answered.                                  “Actually that’s why I’m here”                       “why?”                                                                   “I’m restarting the football team, I’m new into town and Marcus goes to my school and he was telling me he used to have a really good team but then the team captain left and it never felt right to do it without him so the team just stopped” I knew exactly who he was talking about it wasn’t just me who suffered when Finn left, the football team could no longer continue because they did not have enough players and the senior officers said they were not allowed anyone from outside the village to join because they were too young and one of them might have mentioned the village. I guess now the senior officers decided they were old enough to not let something slip. “Did you know him?”                   “Who?”                                     “The boy who left?”                      “No, not really” I lied. I hadn’t realised but we were standing outside Marcus’s house. The door swung open and Marcus shouted from the doorway “I know it’s hot but you can come inside” me and Jack both laughed. That’s why me and Marcus got on well I loved his sense of humour. “Hey, Marcus I’d love to stay but I said to Zoe that I’d go round to see her” I said truthfully and as I did most Friday nights after school. “Okay then see you later” he called as I was walking down the street.

Chapter 3

 

Zoe’s house was only a minute away from Marcus’s when I walked into her house I went straight up to her room. As I walked into her room I could see she was applying eye shadow which meant we were probably going to a party. “Hey”” I said while walking through the door. “Hiya” she glanced at me as I came through the door but was now back to applying her makeup. “Do you want to go to a party?” she asked rather sheepishly. “Only if I can borrow a dress” I replied with a smile on my face. “So who’s going to this party then?”                                                   “Oh you know just the usual suspects” Zoe replied with a childlike grin. The usual suspects consisted of the two of us and the old football team including my twin I hated going to party’s with Tom as he always tried to get me back with his best friend Nate who I had been dating just after Finn left until recently as he cheated on me with some girl from his school but I couldn’t tell anyone this as it would somehow get to Tom and he had a very bad temper when it came to my protection.                                  “I heard one of Marcus’s new friends might be coming and he’s supposed to be really fit” Zoe informed me.                              “Zoe! You have a boyfriend” I shouted while trying to do the zip on a lilac skater dress that I had chosen to wear. “Not for me silly, for you”                                  “I’m fine and anyway, Tom will be there”           “I could deal with your brother”                           “Zoe there’s no need”                          “ok fine, go and do your hair”. An hour later Zoe and I were leaving her house for the party which was only in the next street but still took us a while as we were both wearing 4” heels.

As I walked in the door and saw the mass of people I could tell there was way more people than the ‘usual suspects’. We were greeted at the door by Greg-the host- and he led us through to the living room. “I’m going to get us some drinks, stay here” Zoe said walking away before I could reply.

I quickly went upstairs to dump my bag and my coat I put them in Greg’s parent’s room as I knew that no one would be going in there. When I was back in the living room someone tapped me on the shoulder I turned round to see Jack standing in front of me.

“Hi Jack” I said more of a question than anything else “hi” Jack replied.                     “I em…didn’t expect to see you here” I stumbled out                                “yeah well Marcus only asked me yesterday and I didn’t realise that you were coming”                      “oh ok well...”                         “Hello, I’m Zoe” Zoe interrupted but I was kind of glad because I wasn’t sure what I was going to say next. “Jack” Jack held out his hand and they shook whilst both smiling Zoe’s grin however was very playful which usually would make boys melt but Jack just kept pleasantly smiling. “The punch is amazing, in fact Molly was just about to go you should join her”                  “Zoe!” I shouted which caught the attention of the small number of people immediately around us. Jack let out a small laugh as I could feel myself going a slight shade of crimson. “Shall we?” Jack’s hand gestured towards the punch bowl. I decided not to say anything I just walked toward the punch bowl giving Zoe an icy glare as I walked past her. “I’m really sorry about that” I said to Jack as he passed me a glass of punch. Jack again let out a small laugh as he poured his own glass “it’s quite alright I found it quite humorous”          “yeah, try dealing with it for five years” I said more pathetically than intended. “Would you like to dance?” Jack asked holding his hand out “I would love to” I replied whilst taking his hand. We stayed on the dance floor for hours and Jack told me all about his childhood and how he had moved about a lot-he had lived in 7 different houses and gone to 5 different schools-he lived with his mum and dad and was an only child. “I need a drink, coming” Jack shouted above the loud music I decided it would be best not to reply in fear of losing my voice so I just nodded and then led the way to the punch bowl only turning round once to see if Jack was following me. As we got close to the punch bowl I could see my brother standing having a drink with Nate. I tried to avoid eye contact but Tom saw me and then elbowed Nate. “Molly we haven’t seen you all night I thought you never came” Tom said “ha-ha you’re soo funny” I replied sarcastically Tom had now realised that Jack was standing behind me and was glaring at him. “Tom this is Jack he’s the one who’s restarting the football team” I said smiling “Hi, I’m Tom Molly’s friend”                              “oh Tom, the star player right?” Jack queried      “Not quite that was...”         “Yep that’s Tom, best on the team” I interjected with an awkward grin on my face as I didn’t want to bring up Finn which Tom usually doesn’t in front of me but he must’ve forgotten. “Well I hope you are re-joining the team then” Jack said trying to clear the air obviously sensing the awkwardness. “Sure will be, when are try-outs?” Tom questioned Jack. I realised they were going to be talking about football for a while so I turned to look for Zoe but found Nate standing in front of me and blocking my way, I pivoted to go the other way but he blocked me again. “Can I help you Nate?” I said angrily. “Em…there’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you” he was unusually quiet and kind of looked scared. “I’m sure whatever it is I don’t care” I told him truthfully and then walked away from him to find Zoe. I searched the whole house and asked everyone if they had seen her but Zoe was nowhere to be found. I went up the stairs to get my things before I left when I heard my phone buzz I opened my bag and read the message:

Zoe Mob

             Hiya I’ve gone to Alfie’s house don’t be worried speak to you tomorrow love you. x x x  

I should’ve guessed that she’d be with Alfie but oh well at least I knew she was safe.

I walked down stairs to tell Tom I was leaving and found him still talking to Jack. “Hiya, sorry to interrupt but that’s me away to go” I told Tom “ok well I’ll see you soon” Tom kissed me on the cheek as I turned to leave Jack grabbed my arm softly “can I walk you home?” he asked, I heard Tom and Nate scoff “of course, thank you” I replied and putting my jacket on I walked towards the door. As we got out the door I could feel the humid air on my face and it reminded me of how much I loved the summer. “So is Tom your boyfriend?” Jack asked abruptly. I giggled at the thought obviously me and Tom were close we are twins but we couldn’t tell anyone so we always get asked if we go out but I still laugh every time. “No he’s just protective” I said giggling in-between the words “so Nate then?” he asked more cautiously my face turned straight and I stopped laughing “no, he’s my ex” I replied sternly no longer with any trace of a smile on my lips. “Bad breakup” Jack asked looking at me “yeah” I replied faking a smile I told him the story of why we broke up in short it felt great to be able to tell someone. “I’m sorry” he said sounding apologetic “its ok unless you are actually a really annoying cheerleader who kissed my ex then it really isn’t your fault” I laughed and Jack joined in too which made me feel better “…so there’s a try-out game for the football team if you want its next week you could come and watch” he asked shyly “I would love to come” I replied. We were outside my house I was staring into his eyes and then I kissed him on the cheek and smiled “Goodnight” I said whilst going in the door “Goodnight” I heard Jack say before I closed the door I was so happy I don’t think that night could have gone any better.

 

Chapter 4

 

The last week of school went by in a blur and before I knew it I was waving goodbye to my friends to walk the rest of the way home after the last day of school. I went straight to get changed after I got home from school as today was the football team try-outs. I got changed into leggings a light turquoise flowery top and my black converse. As soon as I was changed I heard Tom coming through the door which was really early for him, probably because he was excited for try-outs. The pitch where the try-outs were held was only 20 minutes from our house so we just walked together. “So are you coming today because you miss coming to the games or to see Jack?” Tom asked without hesitation “a little bit of both I think” I replied truthfully because he could always tell when I was lying anyway. He stayed silent and kept walking which confused me as he would usually bring up Nate round about now when I was talking about someone I liked. “Is that it, nothing else?” I asked curious why he hadn’t brought up Nate. “Yep that’s it nothing else”                   “ok” I said smiling because he had finally gotten over the fact I didn’t like Nate. We arrived at the pitch and Tom went to the locker rooms to get changed into kit and I walked towards the stands where I saw Zoe, I knew Alfie-her boyfriend would be playing because he used to be in the old football team with my brother but I didn’t expect her to be watching. “I didn’t think you were that into football?” I asked because I thought it would be rude to directly ask what the hell she was doing here. “I’m not into football, I’m into Alfie” she replied. “So it’s getting quite serious between you and Alfie then?” The thing with Zoe was she always had a new boyfriend Alfie is the first boy she has been out with from the village though. “Yeah, I really like him” she said beaming from ear to ear. “I’m so happy for you Zo” I said now smiling too we both giggled and then I realised that all the boys were on the field. I did a quick head count there was 16 boys on the field and including Jack I knew 11 of them. At the start they were just doing a warmup so me and Zoe just chatted but then they started to get more into it but before I knew it the hour was over and Jack was thanking everyone for coming and said he would be in touch soon.

I noticed Tom had gone to change and Zoe had already left with Alfie so I sat in the stands waiting for Tom when I saw Jack coming over.

“I can see why you used to enjoy the games, the lads are amazing” Jack said to me when he came over “yeah I know they try hard” I said smiling at him “I’m glad you came today” he said softly “I’m glad I did too” I smiled “Mollaaaaaaaay” I heard Tom shout, he was so good at picking his moments, not “I’m here” I yelled back as he turned the corner and saw I was with Jack he mouthed sorry but Jacks back was turned to Tom so only I saw. “Hi, sorry Molls are you ready to go?” he asked “yeah sure, let’s go” I said reluctantly “bye” I turned to Jack before walking towards my brother “bye Molly” Jack said from behind me. Once we were out of earshot of Jack I turned to Tom “wow Tom, you really know how to pick your moments don’t you”                                                                          “sorry I didn’t realise you were with Jack”       “its fine” I laughed.

Chapter 5

 

        Scroll, scroll and scroll the thing I hated about internet shopping was the fact that there was always something that I thought would be wrong when I tried it on so I never ended up buying anything. I was just looking for a new dress when Tom barged into my room “Molly” he sounded out of breath “Tom?” I was very confused he looked so frightened “why are you so out of breath” I questioned “I’ve been cleaning” he managed to say in-between deep breaths. Cleaning? I thought he hardly ever cleaned without me moaning at him for hours. “Listen Molly I need you to do me a favour, Rebecca’s coming over so…” he started to go very quiet “so you need me to disappear” I finished for him. “Look I’m sorry she said she was coming over and I didn’t want to say no” he said almost pleading his case. “Alright fine I’ll go but I’m coming back for tea”                                    “thank you, thank you, and thank you” he said whilst squeezing me half to death.

        I put my phone, keys and some stuff in a bag put on my shoes and headed to Zoe’s house shouting goodbye as I left.

        Rebecca-Tom’s girlfriend-went to my school she was the most beautiful and popular girl in my year. She never liked me much because I wasn’t scared of her it would be hilarious if she found out her boyfriend was my twin but unfortunately I will never be allowed to tell her. On my way to Zoe’s house I passed Rebecca and she gave me the most fake smile I’ve ever seen I just giggled silently to myself and kept walking.

        When I arrived at Zoe’s house there was no one in, great! I walked further up the hill and then rang on Marcus’s door he opened it with a smile. “I’ve been kicked out of my own house can I hang here for a bit” I asked not sure where I would go if he said no. “Of course you can, come on in” he said leading the way into his house. “I hope you don’t mind but I have some company” he said right before we went into the living room as I walked in I could see Jack sitting on the couch eating chips. “Hi” he said showing off his amazing smile “hi” I said now smiling as well “guys I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve got to take the dog out or my mum will kill me when she gets home, do you mind if I leave you guys for a bit?” Marcus asked us “yeah sure that’s fine” I said still keeping my eyes fixed on Jack. “Ok then, bye” he waved as he went out the door.

       “Are you sure you and Tom aren’t a thing because at try-outs you…” Jack started                       “I’m pretty sure me and Tom are not a thing” I giggled                            “ok, good” Jack said         “what’s so good about that?” I asked               “well, I didn’t want to look stupid and ask for your number if you already had a boyfriend” He said grinning I took his phone from the table and put my number in the phone as- Molly x. we watched a couple of films and then before I knew it was 7:00pm. “I should be getting home” I said realising the time and assuming that Rebecca must’ve gone home already. “If you have to” Jack said pouting, wow he looked fit. “I enjoyed today” I said genuinely “me too, we should do it again sometime” and he was back to being funny.

        I let myself out and started walking back down to my house I walked in the door and the first thing I heard was Rebecca’s very loud very distinctive laugh.

        Oh no! I thought Tom would’ve got her to leave by about half 5 if I said I was going to be home for tea, it was now 7:15!

        I walked very quietly back out the door and then shut it behind me I was going to go back to Marcus’s house and hide out there for a bit but I only made it to my drive. “Molly, what are you doing here?” I heard Rebecca say from behind me. “I….em…I…came to…I came to” what was I going to say I couldn’t say I was coming home, the whole school would know by tomorrow! “Molly, I live next door” I turned around and saw Aiden-one of my brother’s friends- behind me. “Right yeah” I turned back around to my brother “sorry wrong house” I started to walk towards Aiden’s house even though my back was turned towards Rebecca I could tell she was staring at me with one of her ice cold looks.

        One we got into Aiden’s house he turned to me “that was close I really thought you were about to spill about you and Tom” we both laughed I stayed at Aiden’s for about 10 minutes until I was sure that Rebecca had left then made my way back home.

        When I walked through the door I could smell pizza cooking in the oven. I walked through to the kitchen and saw Tom taking a fully cooked pizza out of the oven. He turned around and saw me “I’m so sorry for...” He started to say “It’s fine, honestly” I told him. I really did not like Rebecca and I didn’t want her to cause anymore conflict between me and my brother. We ate our pizza mostly in silence. I took a shower and then went to bed that day had been way too eventful and all I wanted was sleep.

 

Chapter 6

        I got up at 9am the next day to avoid Tom and I was going to go to Zoe’s but I realised she wouldn’t be up so I just went for a walk.

        I was only about 10 minutes from my house when I looked up and saw Chris Jenner walking towards me beside another boy. Chris Jenner was very attractive and very funny and I’ve had a crush on him for about two years but ever since I met Jack I think about Chris less.

        I smiled as I started to go past him he smiled back but the boy that stood beside him just stared at me. “Hi” I said as I walked past “oh, hey” he replied “Oh Molly are you going to Libby Johnston’s party this Friday?” he asked while his friend was still staring at me “em…no I don’t think so” I didn’t want to embarrass myself more by telling him that I wasn’t invited. “Molly?” the boy beside Chris queried still staring at me “Yeah that’s me and you are?” I asked feeling very uncomfortable “oh this is my …”Chris started “Cousin, my names Ross” Chris looked strangely at his cousin “well this was nice but I’ve got to go bye” I said already walking past them I could hear them mumbling as I walked away.

        I made my way to Zoe’s at about 12 as I knew she would be up by then. As I walked in her room she was sitting on the floor straightening her hair. I told her about meeting Chris and his creepy cousin on my walk. Once I had finished Zoe said “what a weirdo did he really stare?”                                                               “yeah he looked like he was going to cry when Chris said my name”                                                   “strange, oh well you’ll never see him again try not to think about it too much”                                                          “yeah I suppose so” but all I could do was think about him and how sad he looked when my name was mentioned and how lonely his eyes looked and somewhat familiar.

        I got home around 6 as I walked in the door I could hear Tom shouting “there’s nothing going on I don’t even know her” I wanted to know who he was talking to so I followed the sound through to the kitchen “Tom you can hear you half a mile away” I said walking in the kitchen door but as soon as I did I regretted it.

Chapter 7

        Rebecca was sitting on our kitchen couch. “Hi” was all I could manage in a small voice. After a while Tom said “we need to tell her the truth” I knew we would be in a lot of trouble and probably thrown out of the village but what other choice did we have? “Ok, Rebecca this is really difficult for me to say… I’m failing French and Tom is my tutor and this is really hard for me to admit so please don’t tell anyone” I said trying hard not to laugh at how good I was getting at lying. I could see relief on Tom and Rebecca’s faces and then she ran to him kissing and hugging him I was thankful when the phone rang so I could run to answer it.

“Hello?” I said “hi Molly its Jack” I couldn’t help but smile at hearing his voice “hi Jack, how can I help?  “Well I was actually looking for Tom is he in?” I could hear slight hurt in his voice “are you ok?” I asked “yeah I’m fine”                                      “if you say so and no sorry Tom’s not in would you like me to take a message?” I didn’t want to have to pull Tom off Rebecca so I thought it best to just say he wasn’t in. “What are you his PA?” he tried to say whilst laughing but he sounded more hurt than anything. I didn’t know what to say so I just laughed awkwardly down the phone “so yeah could you tell Tom he’s on the team training starts on Thursday”                                       “ok thanks I’ll let him know” and then Jack hung up the phone.

 

Chapter 8

        Thursday came quickly as we weren’t doing anything in the holidays and we were both looking forwards to training. I got up just after 10am and got changed into my denim shorts and a floaty coral pink top with my white converse as it was 26 degrees outside and I wanted to show of my tan which I had gained over the previous months.

 Me and Tom walked to the park together and he went off to get changed and I made my way to the stands where Zoe was already sitting.

“Are you going to make this a regular thing?” I asked Zoe jokingly. She laughed “I’m sorry but you only came to see Jack at least Alfie’s actually my boyfriend” she said without hesitation which made us both giggle.

The boys started coming out of the changing rooms Alfie gave Zoe a quick wave as he ran on to the field. I was counting heads when I realised there was 17 people on the field which meant there was one more person on the field than there was at try outs and as I started to look at the faces I suddenly realised who the new face was. It was Ross-Chris’s cousin that I met last week. “I wonder who that is?” Zoe said pointing at Ross “that is Ross, you know the creepy cousin from the other day”                                                                                 “oh he’s quite attractive then for a creep”                               “yeah I suppose” I stared at him for a while and then he turned to look at me I looked away immediately. My face went bright red with embarrassment and then Zoe started to laugh at me. I buried my face in my hands and then started to giggle as well. We mostly talked about what we were going to do during the holidays for the rest of practise we heard the whistle blow to notify to everyone that practise was over. Alfie came over and took Zoe from the stands so they could walk home together and Alfie told me that Tom had gone to get changed. I put my earphones in to listen to my music while I waited for Tom. I saw Jack coming towards me so I took my earphones out to speak to him but he walked straight past me and into his car without even acknowledging me. “Boyfriend trouble?” I heard from behind me, I turned to see Ross behind me. “He’s not my boyfriend and why do you care anyway?” I turned to face him “oh I was just wondering” he said already walking away. I saw Tom coming towards me which mean we could eventually go home “I’d stay away from him if I were you” he said as he got closer “Thanks for the input but you know I never listen to you anyway” I said sarcastically. Tom talked all the way home about practise and how they had a game next Sunday but all I could keep thinking about was why Jack ignored me.

 

Chapter 9

       

        I was woken up by a loud reversing sound of a truck and lots of shouting I went down the stairs to the front room to see what was going on. I could see a tall man with dark hair who looked about 50 shouting at someone but they were behind what appeared to be a removal truck. I went upstairs and quickly changed into skinny jeans and a black hoodie.

As I rounded the corner of the truck I could see that the man was shouting at Ross. “What’s going on?” I asked as they both turned to look at me. “He says I’ve not paid him enough for the truck I’m really sorry if we woke you” Ross said with an apologetic look on his face. “No its fine don’t worry about it, how much did you think you were supposed to pay?” I asked turning to Ross “£150” he replied. “And how much are you asking for?” I asked the man “£250” he said. “Ok give me two seconds” I turned and ran back to the house and went to my emergency cash and took out £50 and then ran back to the truck “I’m really sorry this is all I have” I said whilst looking at the older man “well I suppose this will have to do” he said snatching the money out of my hand. Ross looked uneasy but I gave him a reassuring smile to let him know that I was fine doing this. Once the man drove away Ross turned to me “you really didn’t have to do that” he said whilst he lifted one of the boxes inside I followed with another box in my hand “look its fine you’ll soon learn that we all help each other out around here it’s really no big deal” I smiled while handing him the box. “Ok well thanks I’ll pay you back ASAP ok?” he laughed. He had the cutest smile I’d seen in a long time I couldn’t help smiling back “ok” I said through my laughs.

I stayed to help put all of Ross’s boxes and on the final box I pulled out a guitar “DO YOU PLAY?” I shouted from the front room as he was in the kitchen he walked through with another smile on his lips “yeah, I learned when I was about six” he said sounding sad and now his smile had gone but as soon as he looked at me there was a fake smile plastered on his face, I could tell this was a difficult subject for him. “So do you know who used to live here?” he asked changing the subject. “This place has been empty for nearly two years before that there was a boy that lived here with his brother but we never really spoke” now this was a difficult subject for me “anyway I should get going my brother will be wondering  where I am” I said not wanting to talk about him. “Ok well I’ll see you around, and thanks for today.”  “Anytime” I said smiling as I walked out the door and walked back to my house and went in the door. I don’t know what it was about Ross but he just made me feel genuinely happy which I haven’t felt in a long time.

“Where have you been?” was my welcome home from Marcus when I walked in the door. “Out, what are you doing here?” I asked as he never told me he was coming round-which he usually does. “We’re having a party for the team” he told me matter-of-factly “ok, whose coming?” I asked out of curiosity “anyone who’s in the team that lives in the village and Jack because he got us all together” he said. We have all worked out by now that it was easier to avoid parties with too many people from the village and ‘outsiders’ as when some people got drunk they forgot their cover stories and the village was nearly found out about by a couple of people in Tom’s school. “Ok well I’m not leaving so I’ll be upstairs if I’m needed” I said because I wasn’t willing to leave the house so they could have a party and I really wanted to speak to Jack about what happened at training the other day.

 

Chapter 10

 

It was about 7 o’clock that the music started thumping from down the stairs but it wasn’t until 7:30 that people started knocking on the door and coming to join the party at about 9:00 I went into the kitchen to get a drink which meant I had to pass everyone that was at the party but I noticed that Jack hadn’t appeared yet.

I started to walk back up the stairs after getting my drink and when I was walking past the door I shouted for Tom but there was no reply so I opened it myself. On the other side was Jack looking gorgeous. He had on black skinny jeans and a plain white T-shirt. “I didn’t think you would be here” he look shocked “well of course you would be it’s his party isn’t it” he said with a hint of anger in his voice. “Em its Tom’s party” I said slightly confused to why he was annoyed. “Can I speak to you?” I asked so we could clarify things “I’ll find you later I better go and say hi to everyone” he replied trying to smile “ok” was the only thing I could say so I went back up to my room and waited for him to come up.

It had been an hour and a half since I had last seen Jack and I was starting to think he would never come when I heard a knock on the door “come in” I said smiling. Ross entered the room looking very handsome in his black jeans and blue shirt “oh hi” I sighed “I’m really sorry to disappoint” he smiled, his smile was infectious and I soon was also grinning. “No you’re not I was just expecting someone else” I said my smile getting fainter “Can I ask who you are waiting on?” he said sitting down on the edge of my bed. “I was waiting for Jack but I’m starting to think he’s not coming” I said. “I’m sorry, look Molly there something I have to tell you oh and here” he put the money I had given him that day on the end of my bed and smiled at me and I smiled back. When there was another knock at the door “come in” I said again this time it was Jack who came through the door “sorry am I interrupting?” Jack asked. “Its ok mate, I’m just leaving, Molly I’ll speak to you tomorrow” Ross gave me another quick glance before leaving and closing the door behind him.

“Ok I’m not really sure how to say this so I’m just going to say it straight…Molly I like you, I really like you but if you even have a hint of a thing with Tom I’ll not say anything more about it because I’m not like that with my friends but I really do like you and it took me two hours to have the courage to say this to you so could you please just tell me” He said and it was a lot of information to take in but I knew that there was defiantly nothing going on between me and Tom and I knew that I liked Jack so all I needed to do was tell him. “Ok well this must be the easiest thing I’ve ever had to say, I really like you too and I can assure you there’s nothing going on between me and Tom and there never will…” Jack leaned over and kissed me which stopped me talking I made me feel so happy. It was one of the best nights of my life.

Chapter 11

 

I woke up late the next morning with a smile on my face remembering what happened the night before. Jack actually kissed me!

There was a knock at my bedroom door and then Tom walked in “hi Ross phoned he was wondering if you could go round to his in a bit”                   “ok, I’ll go ‘round once I’m changed” I said while yawning at the same time. “You’re not actually going to go are you?” he said almost as if he knew the answer “why wouldn’t I?” I was pulling myself out of bed and putting together an outfit for the day. “I told you, I don’t like him nothing good will come of this friendship” he said. I brushed it off and asked him to leave before I got changed into my dark jeans and orange and pink flowery top.

I told Tom I was leaving and after a disapproving glance I picked up my keys and left the house slamming the door behind me.

I knocked on Ross’s front door and before I had even put my hand back at my side Ross flung the door open and greeted me with a warm smile. I was ushered into the living room where I sat on the couch and Ross sat next to me.

“Ok here goes, I’m really sorry you have to hear it like this and I wish there was a better way to tell you…” Ross started to say but I had to interrupt as he was beginning to frighten me. “I’m not sure that I want to hear this”                                 “Molly please let me finish or I’ll never get this out, my name’s not Ross, well that is my middle name…” “No” I whispered I didn’t need him to finish I knew someone else who had the middle name Ross, why hadn’t I seen it before? I knew someone else that by their presence alone I felt safe and by their smile I felt warmth and happiness and I could speak to them about anything and feel confident around them to be myself. “Finn?” I whispered quieter than the first time, I wasn’t even sure that he heard until a single tear rolled down his cheek. Tears started falling down my face and on to my legs. My eyes were stinging and my face was itchy from my tears. As another tear slowly trickled down my face I stared at Finn he looked so different his eyes were full of pain and remorse, his hair was a lot lighter and he now wore it a lot shorter and with a quiff at the front and he had filled out and had muscles instead of the weed like frame he had before he left. He opened his mouth to speak again but I couldn’t hear anymore I stood up and ran back into my house and into my bedroom and locked the door behind me.

I heard someone running up the stairs after me and then a knock at my door “hey Molly are you ok?” I heard Tom through the other side of the door “I’m fine” I said not even convincing myself “let me in?” he asked very cautiously. I reached for the lock on my door and twisted it as soon as Tom came in the door he crouched down as I was sitting on the floor and hugged me until I stopped crying, which was hours.

“He told you then?” I had now stopped crying and we were sitting on my bed. I looked at Tom confused “How did you…” I started to say “I found out a couple of weeks ago” he said already knowing my question “you didn’t think to tell me?” I asked getting a little angry “I’m sorry Molls he asked me not to” his voice was very soft as if I would break if he talked any louder. I smiled at Tom “it’s ok” I said.

 

Chapter 12

 

I woke up with a start it was the same nightmare over and over every night for the past week without fail.

I was running through the woods at the back of my house and someone was chasing me and when I got to the small clearing I was surrounded by so many Finns and they kept getting closer and closer and when they were about an inch away from me I would wake up at the same time every night.

Tonight all of the football team, me and Zoe were going to Zoe’s house for a small party unfortunately Finn is going as well but so are 17 other people so it shouldn’t be too hard to avoid him. I hope.

I decided I would wear my light blue jeans, my cream short sleeved top and my white converse as it was more of a social gathering than a party.

I decided it was best for me and Tom to go separately as I was worried about Jack as he was always on edge about me and Tom. Tom went up about 6 and then I followed at 7.

 I walked into Zoe’s house and started to look for Jack. I found him in the kitchen talking to Finn, great. I tried to walk past and get a drink without being noticed “Molly?” I heard Jack say from behind me “oh, hi I didn’t see you there” I said smiling and trying to sound convincing. I walked towards them and them when I got close enough jack pulled my hips gently towards him and then kissed me. At that moment I forgot everyone else in the room.

We pulled apart as we realised that Finn was staring at us “Sorry, Finn have you met my girlfriend?” Jack asked showing off his brilliant smile. I couldn’t help but smile too as this was the first time I had been called Jack’s girlfriend. When I looked up Finn was staring at my chest “Can I help you?” I said rudely. “You still wear it” he said softly bring a small smile to his lips which was when I realised he wasn’t staring at my chest he was staring at the necklace that he gave me for my 10^th birthday. It was a silver heart with a diamond in the middle and I wore every day since he gave it to me even after he left four years later, in some ways it was a comfort to know that part of him was still with me but in the most part it just reminded me that he was gone but I still could never bring myself to take it off. There was an awkward silence “yeah my necklace, my friend gave it to me, well I say friend but really they were just a friend of a friend Tom’s I think but it’s pretty so I wear it sometimes” I sounded so heartless I couldn’t believe I had just said all that to my best friend but I kept a poker face even when I saw the little light in his eye go out.

I was up the stairs in the bathroom and my head was hurting with all the loud music so I went into Zoe’s room and sat at her desk. I was sure she had some aspirin in one of her drawers. I opened the third drawer down and found it full with loads of old pictures I picked one up of me and her, as half of the photo was under another pile, when I pulled it out I realised that we weren’t the only people in the photo Finn and Tom were also sitting next to us. It was taken the day before my 14^th birthday and the day before Finn left.

There was a knock at the door I immediately put the photo back in the drawer and shut it. “Can we please talk?” Finn was standing by the door. “I have nothing to say to you” I wanted to be able to say that and mean it so badly but there was so many unanswered question that I needed to know the answers to and there was no other way but by asking Finn. “ok well you can just listen” Finn said, he took a deep breath and began again “I know I can never take back what I did to you or take away the pain that I caused you and I get it if you never want to speak to me again but I just thought you should know that every single day that I have left on this earth I will be asking for your forgiveness and trying to make it up to you” He stopped and I noticed the light was back in his eyes but I couldn’t forgive him he had hurt me too much “I can’t to this” I walked straight past him and left the party I hated the fact that I cried over him again but I couldn’t stop crying until eventually I cried myself to sleep.

 

 

Chapter 13

 

It had been two weeks since Zoe’s party and I had avoided Finn ever since as I didn’t want what happened at the party to happen again as it was so hard to walk away the first time. Although it was becoming increasingly more difficult to avoid him as he was at football, parties and he lived next door.

Tomorrow was going to be the hardest as both of our brothers were coming home and it would be difficult for them to see us not speaking but I couldn’t not even for them.

The whole village were excited for their loved ones coming home we were all decorating the village and there was going to be a massive street party in the village tomorrow night to welcome everyone home.

Everyone had a task to do and I was on decorating and setting the table which went from one end of the village to the other I looked on the sheet with everyone’s name next to their task to see who I was working with it was Zoe’s gran, Liam-my brothers friend and Finn. It was fine it would be a little more difficult but I could just avoid him like I had been the last few weeks.

 

Chapter 14

I was just about to start putting some table cloths on the large wooden tables when someone hugged me from behind I turned and saw it was Jack I smiled but then thoughts raced through my mind that he would find out about the party and what it’s for and why and then find out the whole secret but he pulled me into a long slow kiss and all my thoughts went flying out of my head I had only known Jack for three months and I know we were only 16 but I had never felt like this about anyone before he just made me so happy.

“Your brother said you were having a street party I’ve not seen you in a while I thought I’d come help” Jack smiled. I smiled back as I knew that we now had a cover story but I still hated lying all the time.

Having Jack around did actually help a lot as I got my jobs done quicker which meant I could spend more time with him before the party started. I invited Jack to the party as I thought he would have to meet my older brother sometime as he was the closest thing I had to a parent although he did think that this lovely couple whose daughter was in the army were my parents so that people didn’t find it weird outside the village that I had no parents and lived alone as they also couldn’t know about my twin.

I and Jack had done half the street when we went for a lunch break which was when I realised that I hadn’t seen Finn all day which was good for avoiding him but I was getting a little worried.

We walked into my house and when we went past the living room there was two of the most senior officers in the village on one couch and my brother and Finn on the other facing them. They all turned and stared at me with a look of sympathy on their faces.

That’s when I knew this party was for nothing because my brother wasn’t coming home.

“Missing” was all my brother said I ran out my house crying and out of the village and into the woods behind it to the middle of the wood, which had been cleared before I got here, I sat on the floor and cried. A minute after I left Finn burst through the trees into the clearing and almost tripped over me as he was going that fast that he couldn’t slow down. He sat next to me trying not to pant. We sat in silence for about 15 minutes before I spoke “How did you know where to find me?” I asked “This is where you came when you got the news about your dad” he replied “This I exactly what happened with my dad we got told he was missing and the 2 weeks later we were told that he had died” tears started to stream down my face again, I didn’t even bother trying to wipe them away they weren’t going to stop. “This is not going to be like what happened to your dad or my dad” Finn said strongly I couldn’t believe that after all I had done to him since he came back that he was still so nice to me. “I’m so sorry I…” I started to apologise but Finn cut me off “There is nothing for you to apologise for what I did was wrong and I’m lucky that you’re even speaking to me, so can we please just go back to being friends?” he said looking at me with his big eyes. I looked at his eyes I could now see a fire in them that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I didn’t need to say anything because the truth was our friendship never ended.  

 

 

 

Chapter 15

 

I walked in the house and the senior officers had already left and it was just Tom and Jack sitting in the living room. They starred at us as we walked in the living room. I could tell that Tom was trying to hold back tears, I couldn’t believe that I bailed on him when he needed me the most I hadn’t even thought about it I just ran, I was so selfish. “Are you ok?” Jack was on his feet and started walking towards me he held out his arms and cuddled me I felt like crying again but I knew that I couldn’t I had to be strong this time. “I’m fine don’t worry about me” I said my voice sounding wobbly, I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. I had to stay strong. “Look Jack why don’t you go home and get ready and then ill meet you back here at 7 for the party, yeah?” I said plastering a smile on my face to convince him I was ok. “Okay but only if you’re sure?” he whispered as if I would break into a million pieces if he spoke any louder “of course see you later” I said giving him a quick kiss on the lips. As soon as I knew he was out the door I walked over to Tom and collapsed into his arms my faced was buried in his chest and he was stroking my hair. I felt safe with Tom and Finn. “We should all get ready for tonight” I said finally pulling away from Tom. “What?” Tom raised his voice as if I had just admitted to murder. “You bolted for the hills when you found out, what are you going to do when someone asks where Kyle is?” his question hurt not only did I think I would shatter into a million pieces at the mention of Kyle’s name but I could tell that he was sad that I left him when he needed me it felt like my chest had been ripped open. “I’ll be fine” was all I could manage to make sure that I sounded strong and they would believe me. It worked, Finn went home to get ready but assured me that he would be back at 6:45, even after my protests, and Tom went to his room to get ready. I stumbled into my room and looked out my short black dress which was very figure hugging. I was not looking forward to wearing it. I had a quick shower and got changed I put my hair into a messy bun and put some makeup on. I put on my neckless that Finn gave me and my diamond bracelet that I got from Kyle and Tom for my 16^th last June finally I put on my red heels then made my way down the stairs and sat in the living room that had a deadly silence although Tom, Finn and Jack were all sitting in there awaiting my arrival. I walked into the room and gave a small twirl and plastered a smile on my face this was going to be hard but I could do it. My plan was to stay close to Jack then people couldn’t ask me how I was doing about Kyle going missing without explaining what was going on, or how Kyle was missing or why everyone knew and I couldn’t face the questions or the constant fussing.

 

Chapter 16

 

The celebration wasn’t all that great, but maybe because there was nothing for me to celebrate and I just felt hollow the whole night as if I wasn’t really there but just watching as if I was a ghost. I managed to stay with Jack the whole night until he went to go and speak to Marcus, who had just been reunited with his dad as his mum died when he was little. That was the thing with the army village it only gave families houses if they were truly special cases as the called them or what most people would call families that were broken beyond repair. I told Jack that I had to go and take my shoes off as they were hurting my feet.

 I went back into my house and went straight to my room. I broke down, my dad was dead, my mum was dead my brother was probably dead the only family I had in the whole world was Tom and although he thought he could, he could not look after us and what would happen when Kyles body was found or he was presumed dead would we be forced to leave? Where would we go? I was only 16 how could I possibly be forced to answer all of these questions on my own I couldn’t even decide the subjects that I wanted to take next year.

The door opened bringing me out of my trance I looked up my eyes were blurry from the tears but I could still make out who was in front of me. Jack.

He immediately came and sat next to me on the bed and embraced me without saying a word he let me cry all over his pristine white t-shirt and I was probably getting mascara all over it. We stayed like this until all my tears had dried up. I pulled away and sat up straight looking into his eyes.   

“I can’t do this anymore” I said my eyes finally dried up “I thought we were doing ok?” he said looking sad. My heart ached I hated it when he was sad. We had only been together since the middle of summer which was only 3 months but it felt like I had known him a lot longer. I looked up at him I smiled a little as if it was too much effort for my body to put a proper smile on my face “I don’t mean us, we are doing fine but I hate lying to you and to everyone else, my whole life I’d had to lie to people to protect myself and others that I love, I can’t do it anymore I hate secrets and lies and I just hate it so much” I sat down on my bed and put my head into my hand but I had cried so much that day that I had ran out of tears and my eyes stayed dry. Jack’s arm snaked its way away around my waist he pulled me closer to him and whispered into my ear “tell me” I thought for a minuet my life would be so much easier if I could just tell him all about my family, Finn, the village and the secrets and lies, it would be like a massive weight off my shoulders but I couldn’t they were my secrets to tell or my web of lies to untangle “I can’t” I spoke so softly as I thought my answer would break him to a point of no return, I thought my answer would make him me.

I looked up to meet his eyes and saw a single glittering tear tumble down his face. “Why don’t you trust me?” he asked his voice wobbly “I do so much but there not my secrets to tell” I pleaded hoping he would understand but I could see by his face that he had enough. “I’m sorry I…” Jack started but the door flung open and in walked Finn. His face turned from a big goofy smile to anger as he looked from my face to Jacks, he could see I had been crying. “Its fine” I said looking at Finn his faced became a little more relaxed but his fists were still clenched at his sides with his knuckles turning white. “Look I’ll come and find you later ok?” I said trying to get Finn to shift but he stayed as still as a statue with his eyes fixed on Jack. “This is another thing that I don’t get I feel that it’s not just the two of us in this relationship” Jack said still starring at Finn. I knew that he was talking about Finn and Tom without telling him why they meant so much to me it was just another string on my web. I looked at Jack trying to show him that I would love to give him the answers but I couldn’t. “Finn could you give us a minute?” I said trying to get him to leave “its ok Finn, you can stay I’m going” I knew that he didn’t just mean leaving the room, he was leaving me.

 I was numb.

 

 

Chapter 17

 

I spent the whole week in bed and only got out to go to school. I hardly spoke to anyone as Finn and Tom knew it was best to stay away, they only saw me when they took it in turns to bring me food that I only nibbled. It was nice in a way to see them getting along with each other as they hadn’t spoken much since Finn came back as Tom was angry at him for leaving and for not telling me who he was when he came back but now they would speak mostly about me but sometimes football came into the conversation but it was always in hushed tones as if they didn’t want to break me but the truth is with the life I had, I was already broken.

On Saturday afternoon I was in my bed nibbling on a ham sandwich that Finn had just brought me when the hushed tones that I became so used to people speaking in around me grew louder and louder until Finn and Tom were shouting at each other but I couldn’t make out what they were saying as they were down the stairs. The shouting stopped and then there was running up the stairs and then Tom flung my door open with Finn trailing behind him. Startled I sat up in my bed and pulled the covers up to my neck as if in protest of getting out as if I knew what was coming. “Get up and get dressed I’m fed up of you sulking, you’re coming to practise with me and Finn and if you don’t like it tough.” I could tell by Finns facial expressions and tone that there was no point even trying to argue. I was going with him even if he had to drag me by my hair to get me there. “I have to go and sort out some…stuff so I’m leaving now but make sure she gets there” Tom was now speaking to Finn in hushed tones but I could still hear. I thought they had become civil but obviously I was wrong as he didn’t even let Finn answer before he was rushing out the door.

Once the door had slammed shut Finn turned to me “get changed we’re leaving in 10” I nodded as a reply as I was in shock Tom seemed so angry I don’t think I’ve seen him that mad since I told him the reason I wasn’t going out with Nate anymore because I no longer liked him everyone thought we would get married.

I got dressed into a pale grey T-shirt, black skinny jeans and black ankle boots and I grab by navy jacket on my way out of the door. I slammed the door behind me and then locked it. I half ran half stumbled to the end of our driveway to meet Finn whose face was now much calmer and what I was used to.

“Ready to go?” he asked his face expressionless and his voice monotone. I could tell he was unhappy but I don’t think it was with me or he would’ve said something. I nodded as I didn’t feel like talking. We walked all the way to the fields in silence.

When we were about to separate so Finn could go and get changed there was a loud bang from inside the changing rooms then lots of shouting we both ran towards the changing room door Finn went in first and then shouted for me to come in everyone was sitting on the benches around the room except for Finn when I realised that Nate and Tom weren’t there. Jack was sitting on the floor with a small stream of blood coming from his nose just stopping before his upper lip “Tom” was all Jack said when I looked in his direction “What happened?” I turned to Greg who was sitting beside me “Tom came in and punched him” he gestured towards Jack who couldn’t even look at me. “Then the idiot told Tom why you and Nate split up” I couldn’t speak why would Jack do that I could ask him later I needed to find Tom. “Where did they go?” I asked tears falling from my eyes. The whole team looked towards the open back door, I looked out the door and could see Tom standing over Nate as Nate was sitting on the ground and putting his hands up to cover his face. I ran with the whole changing room following me most of them were faster than me but stayed behind me. Except Finn who was at my side .When I finally reached Tom and Nate I could see that Nate was crying and Toms face was red and his knuckles where white. I grabbed his face in my hands and pulled it down to look at my own, his eyes were so angry. I could hear from behind me that Finn was helping Nate to his feet. Tom’s legs buckled and we fell to the ground and I ended up on my knees with Toms head tucked under my chin and he started to cry. I kissed the top of his head and cradled him in my arms.

When Tom finally lifted his head everyone had left the field and already gone home as they decided that they didn’t really want to play today and they would just play on Monday next week instead. “It’s my fault that he is gone” Tom’s eyes looked so sad. “How could it possibly be your fault?” I said trying to console him but I could tell by his eyes that it wasn’t working. “Please don’t hate me after I tell you this” He was pleading with me “I could never hate you” I said with a small laugh as I could never hate him he was my brother and the only person who had never left me. “The night before Kyle left we had a row because we found out dad had done some bad stuff before he died and Kyle was shouting and calling him a coward and I got really angry and told Kyle that when he left the next day I hoped that he wouldn’t come back” he started to cry and was searching my face for an expression but I was trying not to cry as well but not because what he said to Kyle because I’m sure even Kyle had forgotten by now if he was alive but they never told me about dad.

“What did dad do?” I asked Tom who was now sitting next to me and had stopped crying once he realised that I wasn’t angry about what he said to Kyle. “The reason we didn’t tell you is because you had just broken up with Nate and you worshiped dad and we didn’t want to hurt you” he said looking at his shoes “Ok well I’ve broken up with Nate for a while and dads been gone a long time so you can tell me, I’m ready” I say not really sure what to expect “That’s it though dads not exactly gone, yes he gone from us but he not dead he’s sunning himself somewhere in Spain, has been for the last 10 years” I can tell that he is angry but I don’t know why “Look the way I see it is he’s the one missing out on a great family we don’t need dad we’ve done without him for the last 11 years so we don’t need him now and Kyles going to come home and you can apologise but please don’t be annoyed because he left,  think of all the amazing things that we’ve done without him that we wouldn’t have done if he was here so I hope he’s having a great time in Spain because I have all my family that I need right here” I don’t know where my new positivity or confidence has come from but I like it and I think I’m going to keep it for a while. “Oh and go and apologise to Nate please he didn’t deserve that if I can be ok about it so can you” I say nearly forgetting what happened earlier he gets up to leave but the turned with a small laugh “what about Jack?” he asks “we’ll see him on Saturday so you can just let him feel guilty for a little bit” I say joining in with his laugh.

 

 

Chapter 18

I loved Saturday’s long lies, no school and usually parties but this was the best Saturday ever.

When I got up I went down to the kitchen to have coffee when I realised that there was people speaking in the living room I walked in and it was two senior officers in dress uniform sitting on one couch and Tom and Finn on the other. I sat down next to Finn and grasped his hand so tight that both of our hands went white. “Its ok” he whispered into my hair which was covering my ear. When I looked back at him he was smiling. “Well now that you are all here, we should begin, we have found both Kyle and Jacob and they need to go to the hospital on site to get checked over but they have a plane scheduled to take them home at 2100 hours on Wednesday” the first officer who was a small man with one arm who mainly stayed in the village to organise and plan. “Thank you” I said. I squeezed Finns hand as we showed them out the door and then I hugged Finn and Tom and started to cry. “You were right there coming home” I said to Finn while wiping my eyes. He just smiled and then we were all smiling “staying for breakfast” Tom asked Finn “Only if you’re having pancakes” he replied which meant I was cooking because none of them knew how to cook without burning everything.

I went to get changed out of my pyjamas into jeans and a top. When I walked back into the kitchen the boys had on apron’s and chef hats which made me giggle a lot.

 

Chapter 19

 

 We had a great morning eating pancakes and watching movies and it wasn’t until around 5 that Finn went home to get ready for his party as he hadn’t had a house warming yet and had been here just under half a year.

I changed into a fitted thigh length black dress and bright red heels and I curled my hair. There was a knock at my door an Tom walked in looking sheepish “You look nice” he said, compliments suggested he had done something wrong “Just tell me, I can take it” I said teasing “ I may have invited Rebecca to the party as she said that we weren’t spending enough time with each other lately” he looked at the ground. I felt bad I knew it was my fault that they hadn’t seen each other with the Jack thing then Nate he was too busy looking after me. I smiled “I don’t mind you’ll just have to tell everyone’s she’s coming so they don’t think it’s weird when we get introduced to each other and if Jack sees you with Rebecca hell know that there’s nothing going on between us” Finn made a gaging noise and left to go meet Rebecca.

When I arrived at the party the first person I saw was Nate “Hi” I said tapping him on the shoulder “Hey are we sure we can talk or is your brother going to hook me” he said laughing “NO but I will if you mention my sibling that I don’t have for the evening” I said it was nice to be able to talk to him again I think that because I hadn’t told anyone what happened between us that I couldn’t but now that it was out in the open it was nice being friends again. “Sorry I forgot, oh have you seen Greg I need to speak to him” he asked looking awkward “no sorry try that…” I went to point behind me but Jack was standing there I opened my mouth to speak unsure of what I was going to say but Jack spoke first “Can we talk upstairs” I nodded as I was still incapable of forming words. I followed him upstairs and into Finns bedroom which was the same room as he used to use even though the spare room was bigger. I realised by Jack’s face that he felt bad for taking me into a bedroom and that this room was just random. “it’s fine” I said trying to reassure him as I walked over to my usual seat on the window seat as you could see the whole forest from it. Jack sat on the edge of the bed. “ok please don’t say anything until I’ve got this all out” Jack said staring at me waiting for a response I nodded as I didn’t want to speak and I don’t think I was capable of forming words. “Thank you, I know that I totally freaked last month and I’m so sorry about telling everyone about Nate I know you weren’t ready for that but the truth is these past few weeks I’ve really missed you and I can’t tell you how sorry I am but I just want to be friends I can’t live with you hating me” he looked so sad and like he really regretted what he had done. “look what you did really hurt me but I know that you freaked because I wouldn’t tell you everything but I can’t tell you I wish I could but I can’t I can assure you though it has nothing to do with me and Finn or me and Tom an as far as the Nate thing goes I think it was time for everyone to know anyway and I’m sorry that Tom hit you he’s just well… Protective but friends” Jack cut me off “I know it might take you time” this time I cut him off by grabbing his T-shirt and pulling him towards me for a kiss it was nice and I realised why I liked him, he made me forget about everything. “I was never going to agree to be friends” I said against his lips. I could feel him smiling when the door flung open it was Tom so I immediately took a step back from Jack but I was still smiling. Nate was behind Tom and they both had massive grins on their faces “We have a surprise for you!” they said in unison looking from me to Jack and obviously sussing what just happened “Well I’m glad to see you two kissed and made up” I said smiling at Tom to break the silence he laughed and Nate said “looks like we weren’t the only ones” which made us all laugh and Jack and I turned a slight shade of crimson.

“So what’s this surprise then?” I ask Tom he walks out the door and gestures me to follow him down the stairs.

I walk into the living room and realise the music has gone off and the only person still there is Finn. “What’s going on?” I ask but no one answers I am just about to ask again when Kyle walks through the Kitchen door.

I ran towards him and he opened his arms before smothering me in a hug. I cried my eyes out but this time they were tears of joy. I couldn’t stop smiling.

“We were told you weren’t home until Wednesday” I said through my tears “Yeah but we thought we would surprise you” Kyle replied in his usual laid back fashion. I smiled and hugged him again. I then hugged Jake who recently emerged from behind Kyle as I hadn’t seen him since he moved to Australia and I missed him too.

Tom and I hadn’t figured out a story to tell everyone yet about how we knew Kyle so it was an awkward goodbye to Jack before he left. It was even more awkward explaining who Jack was and how Nate got his black eye.

We talked for hours but Kyle and Jake were tired so Tom, Kyle and I went home and left Jake and Finn to get to bed.

 

Chapter 20

When I woke up the next day. I was awakened by Kyle coming into my room he had a look of concern on his face and I knew why.

I had been having bad dreams ever since I was little but they got worse when my parents died or moved to Spain and then even worse again when Kyle went missing and it was always the same dream.

I was standing in a graveyard alone and in front of me were tombstones: my mum’s, my dad’s, Kyle’s and Tom’s. I was alone and cold and then Finn would stand next to me which was somewhat comforting until he would collapse to the ground next to me and then the body would disappear and a new tombstone would appear with Finn’s name on it.

Then I would wake up. The dream would never go any further but it scared me to death and I often screamed in my sleep sometimes even shouted out the names on the stones but I only knew all this from the times when I had woken up with Tom staring at me with his face full of concern. It was the same look of concern that Kyle was giving me now.

It was strange how much Kyle and Tom looked alike with their blonde hair and green eyes, the same muscular build and pale skin although Kyle had become more tanned since he had been away you wouldn’t even guess that we were related as I had long dark curly hair, and slim and olive skinned and my eyes were purple, the only thing I inherited from my mum or either of my parents.

“I’m fine it was a bad dream just let me get changed and then well go downstairs and make a plan okay?” I said not really wanting to talk about my nightmares. He nodded and went to leave the room but turned back just as he was about to leave “sure but I’ll send Finn up in 5 minutes as he got here about half an hour a go and you were screaming his name” Kyle looked at me waiting for me to answer but I just nodded.

I had just put on jeans and a male Topshop over the head hoodie which I think was Tom’s but was really comfy. There was a light knock on my bedroom door and then Finn came in with his eyes closed and stubbed his toe on the legs of my bed. “You can open your eyes” I said laughing at him. “Yeah but are you decent” he teased “I don’t want you to ruin my relationship with Megan” he added jokingly. “Megan? What happened to Lana” I asked I wasn’t aware that he no longer went out with his previous girlfriend let alone have another one. “Lana was more of a casual thing” he replied smirking. Megan came to about girl number 17 I think and he hadn’t been home a year yet I decided to brush it off as I think the majority of the girls were ‘more of a casual thing’.

“Did you have nightmares again last night” he asked with the same look of concern on his face, I was starting to wonder if they all practised it when I wasn’t there. “It’s just one nightmare it’s the same one all the time and it always ends the same way” I frowned he pulled my chin up to look into his eyes “Well I can promise you that I’m not going anywhere and I’m not going to be dropping at your feet anytime soon” he laughed again which made me laugh too. “Now we need to go downstairs” he said holding out his hand for me to take it.

We were sitting on the coaches in the front room with Kyle and Tom facing us. It felt like an intervention except I couldn’t think why any of us would need one.

“We’re both going somewhere for a couple of days” Kyle said pointing between himself and Tom. I nodded waiting for them to continue. “I’ve got a training thing up north and…” “And I’m going away for a long weekend with Rebecca’s family” Tom butted in obviously wanting to explain himself where he was going to be. “But don’t worry as tonight until Tuesday as Jake has to go on that training course as well you’re coming to stay with me” Finn smiled from beside me. “Ok I’ll go pack a bag then” I said whilst leaving the room to get my things.

I was just putting my toiletries into my bag when Tom walked into my room. “I don’t get it” he said looking at me quizzically I gave him the same looking back telling him to explain. “Why are you not bothered that were leaving and don’t tell me you want to spend time with Finn cause you could do that anyway” he finished. I sighed I knew I was going to have to tell him the truth because no matter how good at lying I was to everyone else Tom could always tell if I was telling the truth. “I don’t want to be a burden anymore Kyle is young and although I love that he I my big brother I don’t want him to have to be my parent and miss out on opportunities because of me and you, you have Rebecca and your other friends and I don’t want you to have to babysit me and make sure I’m ok all the time when you should be doing normal things” I breathed out happy that he now knew the truth. Tom started to laugh softly and then came and sat next to me on my bed and placed him arm over my shoulders and pulled me onto his chest so I could hear his heartbeat. He stopped laughing “You are not a burden on anyone Molls you don’t need to feel bad me and Kyle, we get plenty of time to blow off steam and be normal if you don’t want us to go we won’t there are plenty of long weekends where I can meet Rebecca’s family” Tom kissed the top of my head “I want you to go have fun but one thing…” I took my head of his chest to look into his eyes “if you’re meeting her family don’t wear that T-shirt” I said which made us both laugh.

 

Chapter 20

 

I walked into Finns house and straight up to his bedroom where he was sitting on his bed watching TV.I went and sat at the window seat and looked out at the setting sun, this used to be my favourite place in the world to be sitting at Finns bay window on a load of cushions staring into the forest, and I was beginning to fall in love with it all over again.

“I’m not sure what you usually do when you stay over at your friends but I refuse to watch love actually and talk about Jack but I am open to the possibility of a pillow fight” Finn tried to keep a straight face but we both burst out laughing instead. “Well for your information the only real girl friend that I have is Zoe and she might as well not be here the amount of times I’m seen her since she started dating Alfie, I’m more of a comedy kind of girl and id win if we had a pillow fight” I said which made us laugh again.

We ended up watching two comedy films that nigh but I was still tired so went to bed at about half nine and left Finn to watch the end of the film.

I changed into one of Toms T-shirts which was way too big for me and a pair of grey shorts and got into bed in Finns spare room.

After about an hour I still couldn’t sleep so I decided to go in Finns room. I lightly tapped on the door and walked in. Finn wasn’t there so I took the blanket which was draped over the bottom of the bed and wrapped it around my shoulders. I walked over to the window seat and readjusted the pillows before sitting down and drifting off to sleep.

I was in the cemetery again but this time it was only Kyle and Tom who had a grave and Finn was standing in front of me. Without even realising what I was doing I lifted a gun that was in my hand and shot Finn in the chest and watched him slump to the ground before the body was gone and in its place was a headstone engraved with Finn’s name.

I woke with a scream. My body was drenched in sweat and I was gasping for air. Finn ran into the room and smothered me in a hug. I immediately reached for his chest and felt where I had shot him to make sure that it wasn’t real. “You were screaming out for me in your sleep again” he said again practising the concerned look. “I…shot…you…were…you” I tried to explain my nightmare but I couldn’t and started crying all over Finn but he just hugged me tighter and cradled me it wasn’t until he kissed the top of my head and Jack shouted at him that I even realised that Jack was there.

I slowly pulled away from Finn’s chest and looked towards the door frame where Jack was casually standing he was standing in the darkroom with the light behind him but I could see on his face that he was hurt.

I slowly pulled myself away from the comfort of Finns chest after felling one more time that he wasn’t injured and stared to look up at Jack. He quickly started running towards us his face filling with more anger the closer he came. He stood right in front of us and the hit Finn right in the face so hard that he fell of the window seat and on to his hands and knees on the floor. I immediately rushed to his side and put my hands on my shoulders then snapped my head up to look at Finn who was now smiling. “Why would you do that?” I screamed at Jack whilst Finn stood back up ready to Hit Jack back so I stepped in between them. “I see the way you look at him I’ve wanted to do that since the day of the street party, when you two became best friends” Jack replied coldly staring over the top of my head to Finn as they were both nearly half a foot taller than me.

I turned to look at Finn “if you touch him I will hurt you” I said sternly and only moved from between them once he nodded in promise not to hurt Jack.

I went to the little wooden box that I made for Finn when I was in first year and dug around for the key and locked the door sealing us all in.

“What are you doing?” Finn and Jack asked at the same time which made me laugh a little. “I’m not opening that door until we’ve all talked and sorted this out” I pointed between them and they both sighed but Finn sat down again on the window seat and Jack sat on the bed. I went to sit down again beside Finn but Jack scoffed so I choose to sit on Finns computer chair instead which in return caused a grin to form on Finns face. This was not going to be a fun night.

I had just sat down when there was a loud pounding at the door I shot a look at Finn but he shrugged not knowing who it was then the pounding started again. “Molly are you ok? Molly open the door” The voice was slightly muffled “Tom?” I asked “Hey Molls let me in” the voice drifted through the door again and I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small brass key and unlocked the door. I opened it wide enough for Tom’s muscular frame to fit through and ten locked the door behind him and returned it to the pocket in my jeans.

Tom walked over to me and grabbed my shoulders and looked me up and down as if he was assessing me then pulled me towards his chest and enveloped me into his arms. “Why are you here?” I asked eventually pulling out of the warmth of his arms. “Jack text me said you were screaming and he thought you were hurt” Tom looked so worried he reminded me of our dad. “The way you were screaming I thought you had been shot or something” Jack spoke for the first time since Tom had entered the room. “Why didn’t you phone me?” Tom was now angry and directing it all at Finn. “She was sleeping” Finn replied calmly as if that was all the explanation that Tom required he then turned to me “The nightmare” He asked concerned I nodded thinking back to how I shot Finn and whipped my head around again to look at his chest.

“Okay so that explains why I’m here but why are we locked in your shrine?” Tom joked as the first time Finn lived here this room was not his bedroom but it was like a second living room and it was filled with pictures with quite a few of the frames containing me as Finn and I used to be joint at the hip so Tom always called the room my shrine. We all let out a small laugh except Jack who obviously didn’t get the joke “Were here locked in because Jack found me screaming and staying in Finns bedroom so I thought the three of us could talk without the worry of someone running away from the truth” I said matter of factly whilst looking at everyone’s facial expressions “the truth?” Tom more asked than said obviously reminding me of all the lies I had to stick to but had no real intention of doing this evening. If I never told Jack the truth we could never be happy together because I would always be lying to him and I couldn’t break up with him with a stupid excuse because we both knew that we liked each other too much for that.

“I’m telling everyone the truth about everything” I said wanting everyone to be clear on my intentions. Tom grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the furthest away corner of the room and started to whisper “I know this must be difficult for you and your relationship by not being able to tell him the truth” he sighed “but you can’t and you never will be able to tell him I’m so sorry Molls but I can’t let you do this” there was genuine sadness in his eyes as he knew I could never tell Jack the truth without repercussions  to my whole family and possibly Finn’s family too. But I knew what I had to do.

I walked over to Finn and laced our fingers together and gave his hand a squeeze and looked into his eyes and mouthed I’m sorry before walking over to Jack “look jack I’m really sorry that I’ve been lying to you but the truth is I have been dating Finn for about two months now and I’ve finally decided that its him that I want to be with” I pressed the cold brass key into his hand and walked back over to Finn and buried my head in his shoulder and felt his arms wrap around me protectively. I heard the door unlock and slam and then the front door also slam and I knew Jack was gone. I was right he would have never believed a rubbish lie so I had to tell him one that he had thought of himself as i would rather he hated my guts and never wanted to speak to me again instead of me having to lie to him every day but hearing him give up and watching him walk away broke my heart into a million pieces.

Author's Note

Sorry my laptops being weird and saying this is only one chapter but this is the hole first half and try to ignore the layout I don't know what went wrong.