Makes my skin crawl.

I am afraid of spiders...this is how it feels.

Lightest of feathery touches

What is that?

* gasp* A SPIDER!

I freeze sharply
Chills run up and down my spine

"Honey? Baby?

 

 

Can you come here?

Hurry!"

I wait breathless

Please don't move spider

Are you drinking in my mind numbing fright?

I swear you are tasting my skin

The salty sweat of fear

Enter hubby full of concern

"What is it, what is wrong?"

"A spider...on my arm"

*Laugh, snort* "Is that all?"

"Don't laugh at me!"

Don't make me mad at you

The spider may sense the anger

May take a bite in retaliation

"Please, just get it off of me!"

Honey responds

"You look a fool

 

Sitting there like a statue,

Why didn't you knock it off?"

*giggle* "Maybe next time.

*sigh* Thanks"

Did I have the heart to tell him

I didn't knock it off

Cause at least then

I knew where it was.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Bennett Logan]

I can relate. I live just a few houses down from the Mississippi River here, so I run across quite a few of God's squishier little eight-legged creatures around the house. The damn things like to hide under things before charging at me and then, subsequently, make me scream like a little girl. They're sick tiny creatures that love to play mind games.

But this poem was fun to read. Thank you for that. I only have a couple suggestions, the first concerning quotation marks. When you have lines of dialogue back to back, I'd suggest consolidating the quotations. Lines 6, 7, and 8, for instance, could be condensed into:

"Honey? Baby?
Can you please come here?
Can you hurry?"

I thought it got kind of wordy towards the end, so I'd try taking out any words or lines that don't absolutely need to be there. You don't have to change what you have here -- what you have here is fine, but try it on the side just to see what you think.

But that's about all I've got for now. I hope my suggestions can be of some use. Have a good one and keep up the good work.

[Katherine Elizabeth]

I actually really like this a lot! I think it's awesome, I like how it doesn't give off that *EEEEEEEEEEEEK* vibe, and how it actually gives reason behind the fear.
Who knows, maybe spiders are sadistic masterminds waiting for their moment to take over the world...