Observations of Desperation

Children fake obliviousness, kicking a deflating soccer ball.

Laughing too easily, desperately trying to forget what they saw.

A fading man, who once knew love, threatens to dissolve into the wind.

He feeds the ducks his last slice of bread, desperately ignoring his sins.

Woman with a forced smile teeters on the brink of insanity.

She is alive but she doesn't feel it. This is how she'll always be.

A young couple walks together, each unaccompanied in their lives.

He acts carefree, she's pregnant, and desperately hoping their bond survives.

An empty father watches his kids play, and he can't feed them tonight.

Kids keep quiet. He blankly stares, desperately tries to avoid this plight.

We'll never be able to understand our world, and we can't agree.

Our lives become unknown to us, and this is how it'll always be.

Author's Note

I wasn't sure if 'obliviousness' was a word, but it is. Please rate/ review.

Reviews

[Sam Cambell]

You're smart to send me a message. I have 64 read requests and the pile is so threatening I'm afraid to look through it. I would probably never have seen this otherwise...

I like this a lot. It's sad but true, cliche as that sounds. I liked the way you phrased this, and your rythm was done well, especially for a poem that doesn't rhyme. The little two line stories drive the point home. Really good job. Glad I read it, actually. You should definately keep writing.

[Tate Morgan]

We ALL lead these complicated lives made so much simpler by one thought When asked to do for others if the only one hurt is you Then your answer should always be yes

[Desert Dreamer]

Your observations bring truth...I see so many people hurting these days, more and more as the days go on. There must be a better economic, to prevent more people from going hungry. Well written poem.

[Matthew Kult]

Hello Kasey,

They don't get much better than this doll. A fantastic write and an even better read. I would stand to applaud you but I am half naked and you couldn't see me anyway. I can however tell you Bravo.

Have I ever told you about my eye thing? Is that your eye Kasey?

Regards,

Matthew

[eighwoeifj]

Nice. So true...

[Gianna Perry]

Such a deep message for such a young to convey (does that sound too creepy? I'm sorry if it does...) The imagery is great for such short lines. The flow is good. The examples only continue to back up the idea of the poem. It's perfect in my eyes. I really love this, and I mean it :D

100/100
~STR

[Gomer LePoet]

It is hard to walk with total purposeness when one knows not what the true purpose is. We can only guess and muddle through. Oh if only the light would truly shine and reveal the secret. nice piece here my frined.

[Coyote Poetry]

My child has to tell me my neighbors had no food. We share with them and did what we could. The world must go back to the days of old. We must help each other. Last lines may be true. But we need to open our eyes to the world around us. A lot of people are hurting. You wrote a powerful poem. I pray for better days.
Coyote

[Ruth]

This is excellent!
I LOVE it hon!
A case of humanity will never understand and yet we carry hope still!
All seems perfect at times in another world, one of love, we forget!
Awesome work!
xx

[Rosalyn Marie]

wow very good and very deep... it flows nicely and i love the couplets. whenever i write couplets they tend to be short and happy and playful sounding, but when you made them long and used that rhythm it makes them sound sad but amazing :D ill have to try and write a poem in that style sometime, unless you own it now lol. nicely done

[Dillon Cotter]

Wow such powerful lines and excellent imagery! Its a kinda sad write, but an mpressive piece of work!

-Will