Prologue

A brief description of infantile utopia.

IF IT REQUIRED money of him, Elemer didn’t know about it, didn’t want to know about it. Terracoche, the city where he resided, a bustling, prosperous metropolis, the standard of which could not be matched anywhere else on that planet at that particular time, made this attitude a relatively easy one to have. Typically, people wanted to work, motivated by other things than wage: innovation, philosophy, simply to help further the progress of mankind.
 
Necessities such as food, water and clothing were all available without cost, obtained by the consumer at automated, unstaffed outlets at any time which suited them. Citizens were allocated a generous amount of each necessity to retrieve each month; there was no viable reason to exceed this quota. Things for leisure and work were to be paid for " albeit at modest, decreasing prices. The only other expense was private housing.
 
Needless to say the ‘homeless’ didn’t require things for work, and lack of things for leisure was a completely sensible sacrifice to those who would prefer to slowly drift through the fast-moving productivity. As for abodes, Terracoche was abundant with public areas perfectly suited for lounging and resting, some even with beds; huge, sunlit, plant-adorned halls with tables, benches, and comfortable chairs placed throughout, and with toilet and shower facilities always just around the corner. Technically these White Giants, as they were often called, were ‘social areas,’ although they served efficiently as public housing nonetheless, and no one really had a problem with them being used as such.
 
The somewhat commonplace ‘homeless’ were not looked down on, unless by a tiny minority. Individualism and free choice were central to Terracoche’s success.
 
Conflict held no rightful place there but it was not a place entirely free of conflict. The city was young, not a century old. As Elemer was in his infancy so too was Terracoche, mere decades beforehand. In fact, Elemer was born on the day which the great city was officially deemed completed by its primary engineers " not, of course, ignorant to the fact that it was ever-changing, completed only in the sense that it was able to function in a properly sustained manner. It was the first city of its kind. The first truly civil city, most of its residents would tell you, not proudly. The rest of the world was still using the old monetary systems, united only in their currency and methods of obtaining it, and their three-piece suits; and they would come " from all over a world going obsolete, they would come, lugging with them their incivility and thoughts also nearing obsoletion.
 
But neither did discrimination have a rightful place there, and Terracoche would not turn them away.
 
As it turned out, there would have been little reason to. The great city proved once and for all that conflict was easily phased out with fairness. In a place where the people are not squandered they lose any desire to cause trouble, for trouble holds no claim over the mind when it is not led into troublesome lifestyles. This was soon obvious after the city’s completion. The felons would come, the profiteers would come, the vagabonds and ruffians and loudmouths would come, and would be converted all. They were given easy access to whichever life they wanted, a life that they could not previously attain and thus turned to their undesirable ways; encouraged into a corner and overwhelmed with the urge to fight against it, and, eventually, to simply fight " out of frustration, out of hatred, out of mere habit.
 
Terracoche thrived due to its people’s diversity, tailored so each individual would bring something unique to the table. And it would unfailingly enlighten any undesirables with a notion that applied anywhere but was provided there with undeniable clarity: That the only beneficial fight was against one’s own shortcomings. For their early days in Terracoche remained ones of negativity. Automatically they would blame and accuse anything but themself after unpleasant occurrences. It did not take long to become apparent to them that their negative habits and feelings were the same as before they arrived to the city, and that whatever they previously attributed to their misfortune was no longer an issue, left behind with their old homes. It was a city almost overflowing with opportunity and good intentions. The one restrictive factor for those there whose life was not bliss was their own mind, as it was before they arrived, as it would be wherever they went afterwards.
 
No Evil, Only Ignorance.
 
The city was upheld by faith in its motto’s notion " the notion that evil was but a product of under-evolved species; that in a place run fairly for all, evil would be abolished, no longer put into the world by animal negativity, the only way it could ever be put into the world.
 
It was this notion, conceived by Terracoche’s primary founder Turohard Williams during a tavern brawl in the town of Gleslock, that led to the idea of the great city.

‘What is this?’ he had said to his companion across the table, gesturing widely to the surrounding commotion. ‘Seriously,’ he added after ducking from a dagger hurled in no particular direction.
 
‘Disregard of animal life is relative to lack of animal intelligence,’ answered his companion over the din. ‘Why’s it that when our species is first given enough smarts to realise they have smarts they use that knowledge to separate themself from all other species " even from their own? I think that that alone is proof we’ve only just acquired the smarts, and that they’re of minute value.’
 
‘You’re so right, Lyberopoulos,’ said Williams. ‘And it’s hard for most to understand their level of intelligence when they have nothing greater to compare it to " although that, as well, serves as proof that it is infantile. Indeed most or all of these charming men don’t even consider themselves animals. Intelligence can be a confusing and dangerous thing when there is only little of it. The people must fully acknowledge the nature of what still makes them stupid before acquiring true intellect.’
 
Suddenly, perhaps due to present hazards becoming overwhelming, they simultaneously stood and left the brawling room, retiring to the chilly outdoors. Snow was falling now, blanketing the gloomy town in a pleasant white. Regardless of the commotion behind the wall they leant upon the two men felt at peace, focused only on the pristine reflectiveness of the snow. Williams thought it akin to a calming presence, wrapping up the disturbed town in its nurture and sending away negative influences.
 
‘They are in need of a guide, perhaps?’ said Lyberopoulos.
 
‘Yes but not an animal guide, a thing which so often leads to idolism, further separation.’
 
‘Then what?’
 
‘I dunno " a place,’ said Williams, looking up to the cosmos. ‘A notion. People need to understand the power of the mind.’
 
‘The power it has to realize.’
 
Williams lowered his gaze to his friend. ‘Exactly.’
 
‘To make things created by itself seem more fundamental than they truly are,’ said Lyberopoulos.
 
‘And to make the very nature of the Universe seem less fundamental,’ said Williams.
 
‘That too. A sort of unrealizing realization.’

Author's Note

<3

Allow me to point out that the world and satire for this book is still quite unimagined, and may make the story seem a bit lacking in description and direction. This will change as I continue to figure it all out. :)

Reviews

[JR Darewood]

It's a very interesting world and a fascinating set of characters you've created. The parts with Elemer flow quite smoothly, offer a strong sense of mystery. You do a great job of revealing bits and pieces of what Elemer is without giving it all away.

I think the challenge with scifi/fantasy is always exposition. I helps to exposit by way of your character's experiences, little by little. Your world is an impressive, intricate philosophical experiment, a really interesting utopia, but I would reveal it bit by bit over the course of a few chapters instead of the long descriptions you have in the opening paragraphs. I'd take them out altogether, hold them in a sort of guiding document, and come up with scenarios to demonstrate the elements of your world you want to reveal.

If you want to stick with the more didactic approach, you might need to come up with a scenario for the book in which a narrator is explaining this world to the reader, who is in our world. Otherwise it comes off as a bit odd when you start talking to the reader instead of revealing your character's experiences.

Just some suggestions.

Nice read!

[Alti]

Thanks for the review. I'll be gradually adding more to this story. I'm quite determined to write this one.

I actually wrote the city description part and then went back like a month later and continued writing this story, so there is a good chance I'll take it out once I've described a lot of the city in future narrative, and just start the book with Elemer. The only reason I have kept it in atm it to establish that it is central to the story, just so people don't forget about the relevance of the city itself.

Thanks again for your review!

[JR Darewood]

That sounds like a good strategy. I wrote like half a book and I'm just now going back to rewrite Chapter 1 and I've been really struggling with it. the prologues ok but the first chapter introduces the MC sets the tone and all kind of other important stuff. First chapters are the hardest i think.

[Mikayla_Stagg]

I think it flows really well and has good structure. I liked it. Looking forward to reading on. You did really well. Was a little long for a prologue though