Birds!

A Story by Alti

A rather pointless short story about over-policing.

IT WAS A glorious day in Farloch. The warm rays of its Sun bathed the grass-sea, each blade reflecting vivid green light, swaying in the agreeable breeze. Beyond where the grass meets the cliffside there is only ocean, stretching for eternity and glistening brilliantly as if harbouring a million sunken treasures in its depths.

See: Two distant figures on the long, dusty path that runs across the middle of the enormous field. One of them, not even a resident of that world, evidently in distress.

'Birds!' cried Elemer.

Hobo looked around confusedly, like someone who is under the impression they're searching for something that is apparently of utmost importance, yet they had, for their entire life, always thought it quite regular.

'Birds,' he said stupidly. 'Like, cheep?'

'Not cheep, cheep!' screamed Elemer. 'Cut, cut! Bad Birds! With swords!'

Hobo's face remained a mask of confusion.

'Birds, damnit!' He made the appropriate gestures. 'People with wings! Bloody Birds! Birds! Bir--!'

It was now one of those moments where you must decide either to successfully relay your message, and thus continue to jump around and flap your arms like a madman, or to not tempt the wrath of the heavily armoured, aggressive flying-men touching down metres ahead of you, sending up a spray of dust as they skidded to a halt.

'Birds,' Elemer coughed, flailing his arms now only to disperse the dustcloud. 'Just over there. Swooping us something fierce, they were, the b******s. Just over--' he desperately searched for a few seconds '--there!' The distant blur to which he pointed was a flock of harmless nersingwaries near the horizon. 'Come to do something about them, have you?'

The leader had not so much as blinked.

'Thos're nersin'waries.'

'Ah, perhaps to the untrai--' The Bird had stepped forward and grabbed him by the collar, lifting him off the ground. Elemer's mouth automatically said: 'Eyes - good eyes! You must've good eyes to see that. And so strong. And, perhaps, an admirable knowledge of le avis speciem, domine mi?' but his mind was focused only on intense prayer - as he would later attribute to his careless use of French and Latin in the same sentence.

The winged guard drew his sword and pressed the point into Elemer's ribcage.

'You two are loitering. You've been observed on this path for two hours now.'

'But the swooping. Birds perniciosissi--'

'Shut up!' barked the Bird. 'Enough of your funny words that I do not understand! You will pay the fine or come with us!'

He dropped Elemer.

Elemer shuffled around the ground for a moment, said, 'I...' grabbed a handful of dust, threw it in the Bird's face, sprouted leathery wings, and took to the air.

'He's a Bat!' cried one of the Birds.

'Filthy Bat!' roared the leader, sheathing his sword.

With the great flapping of many wings as the unit readied pursuit, Hobo was once again lost in a world of dust, wondering what the hell just happened.