Soothing

There is an emotional wall built up in front of me in my Wife's mind.  I cannot get through it without her removing some of the bricks.  This is a two person effort, and in order for this to work you need the willingness of both parties.  What happens when someone is not willing to put in the work?  Feelings start to fester, and damage starts to occur.  It takes a strong person to make the decision to start loving again, from both sides.  A lot of times this is misinterpreted by the victim as "a last ditch effort to keep them around".  Sometimes this is true.  It is not rare for someone to be afraid of being alone.  The pain of losing the comfort of a loved one is too great for most people and we react in a variety of different ways.  I have reacted positively and negatively, but outside of these reactions I have also discovered.  The need for change was great.  My behavior was affecting more than just my wife.  How unfortunate I would have been if I had never realized how bad my depression had gotten.  Or how negative my attitude towards other people had turned.  These are great revelations in the field of personal achievement but I find myself stuck worrying about other things.  Things like what life will be like without my rock.  Without a woman I chose to listen to me and support me.  Without love from a person I have confided in.  What will her decision be?  I DO NOT KNOW!  And that is SO HARD.  I have confided in people and created a support group and they have all told me the same thing; every marriage goes through this, a period of disillusionment.  Hard work and perseverance and above all PATIENCE will get you through this time.  I don't want to be another divorce statistic.  I want to be a success story.