And I Will Go Fishing No More

It is not my duty

to w r i n g my heart out

on a lifeline to

vicious Lucifer horned sharks

that dwell, hammer my head 

through bottomless

skin-wrinkling waters

I am not inclined

to drown in that sea

so black, with the ink

and oil of a thousand

pages of knuckle-clicking screams

and Merlot blood that has long

been consumed by ruthless 

pirated lovers

It was not my decision

to tiptoe unarmed 

and shoeless to her 

eggshell lined floors with

the footprints of a hundred fools

and evident shards of flesh

of a hundred wise survivors

There are plenty more fish in the sea, they say

but I think

they're confused

with pollution.

Reviews

[Alpris]

Oh definitely, Christian. I will admit I'm not entirely satisfied with this piece of mine, but I needed to get it out. The idea of it has been bugging me for a while now, but I'll definitely look to improving it, taking into mind those that you pointed out. Thank you very much :)

[MoriartyMesa]

Love the style and phrasing of the words, love the nice spin on the emotion and statements in the piece, but most off all its honesty.

[I Shred This Cabbage]

very interesting language.

the opening is strong and straight to action, It is not my duty to w r i n g my heart out on a lifeline.

the imagery of the sea holds together throughout. i feel you are one of the survivors, looking at a removed scene.

good stuff.

[Clockwork]

Now I do have to say that I was a bit confused if this poem was about writing and not having to pledge yourself to certain things or a lover who has not lived up to their end of the bargain.

The last stanza makes me think that it was the latter of the two things that I mentioned. If that is so, I really like the third stanza. I liked how you transformed the walking on eggshells cliche into something new.

I also liked the idea of not being drowned in the seas you described.

I know that you still may be working on this, but I wondered about the ending. I feel like you build to such an emotional and energetic climax with your third stanza, especially with the word choice and the imagery. I don't feel like the same thing is there in stanza four. The word choice is a bit different in the last stanza and I think it is a little flat.

I also have a few suggestions about making the opening of the poem a bit smoother. However, I do really like this piece. I enjoy your work very much. I think that it has spirit and it has earned a place in my heart.