time drags & no drag

God help me.. I really am frightened.

two fourteen a.m marked the hour of the shiver / there are bone sawing twitches engraved
into every wall and crevice and i simply cannot leave until i learn them all /
not even to go to the bathroom where at the end of the hall the east wing door waits
and thunders my sight / to cough out a mangled dismembered beast of rage /
he was out to get me i think / before i returned and heard a tire spoke chuckle in the mirrored air /
i stayed in the room and counted the zeros on the disturbed wall /
there wont be any time left to paint my eyes with skin / the hour of the shiver is thin but slow
like a child learning to die / and i cant even leave to stroke my ticklish lungs with tar /
i am cold and asking for it ; there will be no sun to lick my lashes

Author's Note

Still needs fixing up, I know. But this is my mood at the time, and I am fucking terrified; do not ask me to alter my emotions.

Reviews

[Mark D]

You describe the night time terror so well it's scary itself.

Amazing writing. "I am cold and asking for it" had a real punch in it.

I don't get the reference to the "zeros on the disturbed wall" but i guess this is personal to your view of the situation.

Really great!

[Alpris]

Thanks, mate! Really glad you liked this. Also thank you for reading and taking the time to review :) And yeah, the zeros are kinda personal

[Keith]

This is a very strange piece to me. A nightmare of disjointed emotions and phrases. And since you were terrified at the time then I have to say , Bravo! Your captured the temporary insanity caused by pure fear very powerfully.

I do hope that the cause of your fear has passed you by and that life is peaceful again.

I have to give you one of my very very few 100s.

[Alpris]

Ah! What an honour!

Thank you dearly for your sweet acknowledgment and for taking the time to read and review. I'm glad I captured it; I was in a bad space at the time of constructing this work. Yes my life has once again cooled its storm to a calmful lap of waves thank you very much. I'm glad to have received such high praise from you :)

[no sun]

Poetry is built for raw emotions! Will never (ever) ask a passionate person to change their passion. Love this very strong piece of writing.

[Alpris]

Thank you Ethan :) your kind words bring a smile to my face always.