A Chick in Training

A flash fiction exercise "Beginnings" assigned to me for school. NOTE: Please read the Author's Note below this story. It will give you an insight as to how I wrote this. Thank you.

A chicken is a chicken, you all know how a chicken looks, sure you do; so go ahead and draw a chicken, the teacher tells the children, and all the kids suck on crayons and then draw chickens.
   As the teacher circled the paint-freckled tables she thought to herself: Some of the drawings look like something the chicken would s**t out rather than what it would actually look like. Or at least something they would be feeding the chicken.
   There were children throwing saliva polished crayons at each other. There were children snapping crayons in half, children laughing at each others' pigsty pictures and children scribbling for the sake of having a basically pointless lesson.
   A young boy, the teacher saw, was making at least an effort and had so far achieved a bale of hay with a carrot poking out of its front, nestled on two sticks. Another boy was drawing a house and a flower. Maybe he would get to the chicken soon after he realized a goddamn flower had absolutely nothing to do with chickens.
   I’d like to throw crayons at them, myself; right at their silly little heads and temples and send them all to hospital, the teacher thought with a pang of irritation mixed and glee.
    And there was a young fair-haired girl sitting by herself at the back. She was scribbling profusely, with one arm covering the top of the page that she hovered and fussed over. Her face was pinched to a concentrated sneer as her crayon flew over the paper’s body.
   Let me see, the teacher said, and stepped behind the girl to look. There was indeed a chicken; drawn nearly perfectly. But it wasn’t yellow or black, or white or even red.    
  The only red in the roughly drawn image was around the length of the chicken's cylinder neck and cascading down its roughly drawn stomach which was ripped open to a ruthless gash like a baby had gone haywire on a stuffed bear. At its spider feet a pile of pink, purple, blue, red and orange jumbles of guts, intestines and organs were messily arranged and sat in a sloppy heap. Around that was more red scribble; and the chicken’s eyes were two huge X’s.
  The girl kept scribbling but her crayon broke in half so she reached for another one. The teacher gave the girl a firm pet on the head and moved along to the next table.
  That one will go far, the teacher thought; she is smart and more than ready.

Author's Note

"A chicken is a chicken, you all know how a chicken looks, sure you do, so go ahead and draw a chicken the teacher tells the children, and all the kids suck on crayons and then draw chickens." This is the beginning I used, the rest is how I saw how the story would unfold to my style. Whilst composing this piece, I tried to bend it so that I would remain writing in the same prose style as the original author.
SOURCE: Miloš Macourek. "Jacob's Chicken." SFC. p.102. [Translated by Dagmar Herrmann]

Reviews

[Elsa Novel]

Great story and well written. Like previous reviewers said you have a great writing style. Keep it up

[Pól]

If my primary school teacher asked me to do that I would probably just have drawn an egg. I prefer your style of writing to Macourek's.

[Alpris]

Thank you. I do, too; I feel more at home in my own zone. This did make me a little uncomfortable but I have no right to change the style of another author's preferred mood. It would be rude to, seeing as I used his beginning.

[Michael G.]

Cute. A teacher should never stifle the ambitions of their young students under their care.
Well done.
A very interesting form of writing. A form you seem very comfortable writing.

[Alpris]

The former is very true Michael, thank you.
To be honest I was not entirely comfortable writing in this form of prose. It's too relaxed and too casual/lazy with language. I myself usually like to go in depth with details but I adjusted very easily since it was another author's beginning to start with. Thank you for your kind review.

[Michael G.]

I read most all of what you post here. While some, may not be my cup of tea, you have a unique feel to most of your work. I never know where your imagination will lead me as your reader... but I will follow along for the adventure and thrill you give.

[Alpris]

You are not a fan of dark writing? I appreciate your kind opinion and the time you take to read my work Michael, I am very grateful for that.