Twenty Two

            I was coming to my senses fully this time, the foggy haze clearing from my mind as my eyes fluttered open. Images floated through my mind of the things I’d seen during the short breaks in my unconscious state�"the brown wolf making its way through the trees towards me, then blackness. The same wolf lying curled in a ball a few feet away from me. Blackness. The sun rising, and Ethan’s naked body lying where the wolf’s had been. Then more blackness.

            I slowly and carefully pulled myself into a sitting position, trying not to intensify the dull throb in the back of my head.

            I looked over to where I remembered I’d last seen Ethan at one point. He lay on his stomach amongst the dead leaves, still not wearing any clothes.

            Just then, he slowly lifted his head and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. He grumbled something to himself as he turned his head. That was when he noticed me sitting there.

            We both said nothing, just stared at each other in silence. Memories involving Ethan and unexplainable situations started piecing themselves together in my mind�"Ethan avoiding me for a week and saying that it was safer if I didn’t know why, him wandering through the forest at night, the heat of his body and how he never got cold, taking on Brent and two other guys at the same time, drawing the wolf in the sand at the baseball field, hopping fences with such ease, his abnormal night vision, the wolf necklace…

            My mind was screaming what it all meant pieced together, but it was unacceptable�"impossible! I’d seen all the cheesy horror movies�"I knew the “signs”. But that’s just it. They were movies. Hollywood. Not real. Made-up tales of fiction meant to entertain narrow-minded people…

            But then there was the proof�"the undeniable proof that I witnessed myself, only hours earlier. Ethan removing his clothes, getting on the ground, bracing himself… The tremors, his bones breaking and distorting, changing form… His screams… The giant wolf-creatures…

            “What are you?” I choked out, my voice hoarse. I stared at him with wide, terrified eyes. I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t believe it! It was simply impossible. There was no way things like that existed… But then what had attacked me?

            Taking his time, Ethan sat up and pulled a pile of leaves over his lap to cover himself. He seemed to focus completely on this simple task, as if it took so much thought and concentration. He avoided looking at me.

            “What do you know?” Ethan asked very calmly, rearranging the leaves in his lap�"a task meant to avoid eye contact.

            “I put all the pieces together. There was whatever was happening to you last night after you took your clothes off�"when I was trying to help you�"and then there was you disappearing. And then what I saw…”

            “What did you see?” He looked up at me and met my eyes.

            I just stared at him. “I’ll sound crazy,” I whispered.

            Ethan stood up and I watched the leaves fall away from his body. He walked over to me, seemingly unaware of the fact that he was still naked. My eyes shot to the ground instantly, shying away. I ignored the temptation to look up and waited until he reached my side.

            “What did you see?” he repeated, this time leaning down to whisper in my ear. I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice, soft and slow, and the feel of his warm breath brushing my skin. I felt goose bumps rise along my arms. I didn’t like the way my body craved his closeness�"he was a danger to me. I couldn’t want him.

            “A wolf,” I whispered, my eyes still closed.

            “What kind of wolf?” he asked, so quietly I barely heard him.

            “It wasn’t… normal. It was at least six feet tall.” I opened my eyes and turned towards him. His face was mere inches away from mine and I looked up at him, trying to keep a controlled look in my eyes, instead of showing the fear that was strangling my insides.

            Ethan stared back at me without blinking, his expression unreadable. He said nothing.

            I backed away from him. “What are you?” I asked again, through clenched teeth.

            “What conclusions have you come up with?” he asked, his voice still holding its calm and sturdiness.

            I tried to swallow the dry lump in my throat. “I can’t do this Ethan. I can’t play this game with you! If you’re going to kill me, transform yourself into a werewolf or whatever the hell it is you are, and just do it! It wasn’t like you didn’t already scare the hell out of me last night! Why drag this out? Do you always put your victims through this before ending their lives?”

            My worst fears poured out before I even had a chance to fully think about what I was saying. And I hadn’t used the term ‘werewolf’ in my head, when I was trying to piece together what I knew about Ethan. It sounded ridiculous when said aloud.

            Ethan just stared at me for a moment, a stunned expression on his face. Then he broke out laughing.

            I blushed crimson and crossed my arms in anger. “I’m glad you find this funny Ethan, but I’m not impressed. Last night was terrifying for me, and you aren’t giving me any explanations. Obviously, my imagination is going to run a bit wild and I’m going to think up this crazy story that doesn’t make sense�"but last night didn’t make sense! What am I supposed to think?! I mean�"”

            Ethan stopped laughing and cut me off, saying, “Heidi… You’re right.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “I mean, not about the killing part of course�"I would never hurt you, no matter the state I’m in.”

            I stared at him blankly, incapable of absorbing what he was trying to tell me. “What are you saying Ethan?”

            He cleared his throat and looked away, lowering his voice, as if it would prevent me from hearing what he was about to tell me. “I’m telling you that you’re right about me. I am a… werewolf.” He paused, his eyebrows pulling together above his nose. “It feels so weird saying that out loud. We don’t call ourselves… well anything really.”

            I jumped up, moving away from Ethan as quickly as I could. I covered my face with my hands, on the verge of hysteria. “I thought so but�"no, this isn’t possible! It isn’t possible… How? I don’t understand Ethan! How?!”

            Ethan stood up and slowly moved towards me, his hands up as if to surrender, or to show me that he wasn’t the enemy�"that he wasn’t going to hurt me. I backed away from him a little, and he told me to just calm down�"he wasn’t going to hurt me in any way.

            “I will explain everything to you. Just trust me, please.”

            I viciously wiped the tears from my cheeks and dropped my hands at my sides. I gave Ethan an angry glare. “Trust you?” It seemed like a lot to ask from someone who, for one, wasn’t even really human, lied to me, and could potentially rip me to shreds.

            Ethan put his hands down slowly and straightened his posture. “I know you may think you have no reason to trust me. But if I wanted to harm you�"or kill you for that matter�"I would have done it by now. Think about it, I know where you live; I’m best friends with your brother… I slept over at your house! We spent the night together before as well! Heidi, I would never hurt you! I love you…”

            My heart tightened in response to those three words; those eight letters. It was the first time he’d said it to me. I’d wanted it for so long�"just to hear him say those words to me once, just so I knew! I just wanted to have that solidarity, that certainty that I was actually making him as happy as he was making me; that the feelings were mutual. But that was before.

            “I�"I thought I loved you too. But I didn’t even know you.” I squared my jaw.

            Ethan closed his eyes briefly, and I watched as the pain registered across his face, clear as day. When he opened his eyes again, I could see the hurt in them. But after a moment, they glazed over and his expression was unreadable.

            “I understand. Would you like some help finding your way out of here? You were pretty lost last night.”

            I weighed my options in my mind for a minute, and realized I had no choice but to go with him, so I nodded.

            “Well I have to find my clothes first. Lucky for us, I keep them in the same spot every time, so I know exactly where they are. It will just take us a while to get to them.”

He began walking through the rows of trees, and I rushed to catch up to him. I decided to walk beside him, so I didn’t have to walk behind him and his nakedness. At least, I figured, the awkwardness of me catching glimpses of his hidden areas wouldn’t be a problem this way.