Sixteen

            The next day, my phone rang around one in the afternoon. Surprisingly, I was still asleep and it had woken me up.

            “Hello?” I answered groggily.

            “Heidi? It’s Dallas. Were you sleeping?”

            “Yeah,” I replied, coming to. “I’m not sure why, I’ve never slept in so late before.”

            “Oh, sorry for waking you.”

            “No that’s okay. What’s up?”

            “Well,” Dallas started, “I just needed someone to talk to. I’m kind of confused right now and I was hoping you could help me clear some things up.”

            My mind accelerated, hoping he was finally going to admit his feelings for Angela and want to do something about it. “Clear some things up? Like what exactly?”

            Dallas was quiet, and I began to think he’d hung up on me. “You still there?”

            He cleared his throat. “Um, yeah. I was just wondering… if�"I mean�"” He paused. “What do you think I should buy my mom for Christmas?”

            My heart sank. “Oh… Christmas is only a few days away. You still haven’t gotten her anything?”

            “Uh, no.” He was speaking very choppily. We continued talking awkwardly about Christmas, and I gave him simple suggestions for gifts. I wished him luck trying to maneuver his way through the mall this close to Christmas�"it would be insanely busy with last minute shoppers.

            Just as I was about to hang up, Dallas spoke. “Wait.”

            “Yeah?”

            For a second, he hesitated. Then he said, “I lied. I didn’t call you about my mom’s Christmas present�"I’ve been done all my shopping since November. I really called to talk to you about Angela.”

            I couldn’t keep the excitement from my voice. “What about Angela?”

            Dallas cleared his throat, sounding uncomfortable. “Well, I think… I think I really like her, but I don’t know what to do about it.”

            My heart leapt for Angela. “Dallas!” I squealed, excited. “When did this happen?”

            “I don’t know really. I guess I started looking at her differently after you told me you would never have the same feelings I had for you. I mean, I’m not just using her as your replacement�"it’s not like that. It’s just that, she was so sympathetic and she really made me feel better. She showed me a side of herself I’ve never seen. She actually cared, sincerely.” Dallas took a deep breath. “I know she’ll never be you, but I think… maybe she’s someone I could fall in love with, and I think that if I did, maybe she would feel the same way about me.”

            “You think she would feel the same?” I asked, trying to sound like I didn’t know anything about Angela’s feelings towards Dallas.

            “Well…” replied Dallas slowly, “I was going to ask you. Do you think Angela could ever feel that way about me?”

            I pushed the mouthpiece of the phone back from my face and looked up at the ceiling, taking in a deep breath. The pressure was on.

            “Listen Dallas, I�"”

            “Wait, don’t tell me. Your tone doesn’t sound very promising. I’ll just… I’ll wait it out and let what happens happen.”

            I smiled slightly, recalling Ethan using those words on me not too long before. “Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”

            I could picture Dallas rolling his eyes as he said, “Yeah, because that worked out so well the first time…”

            “I know I didn’t tell you exactly what you wanted to hear, but maybe it will be different with Angela. Maybe she even already likes you,” I said, hinting. “I guess you’ll never know unless you take that step and find out for yourself.”

            Dallas was silent for a moment. “I don’t know. I should think this one through instead of just throwing myself out there again.”

            “Yeah, I guess. But you might want to act soon. Who knows how long your window of opportunity will be open for.”

 

{   -   -   -   }

 

            On Monday, I decided I would go to Ethan’s house to see if he was home yet. I found it odd that he’d rushed off so quickly after he had dropped me off at home from the party. He didn’t even tell me where he was going. I mean, I wasn’t trying to be his mother. It was just nice to know where he was and how long he was going to be gone for. I cared about him, and I missed him. After all, he was my�"

            What? He was my what? Up until that moment, I hadn’t even thought about what Ethan was to me. There was no label to describe our relationship. He wasn’t my boyfriend. We weren’t “going steady”. We were simply together. We were romantic. I was falling for him deeply�"and hopefully he was feeling the same. But what were we?

            I pondered this as I drove. Why hadn’t Ethan asked me out yet? Did he not feel as strongly towards me as I felt towards him? I shook my head, banishing the thought. I was being paranoid. I knew Ethan liked me. I knew he did.

            As I pulled up in front of his house, I noticed his car was parked in the driveway. Slowly I got out of my Chrysler Neon and knocked on Ethan’s door. His dad answered, and I noticed his smile falter for a moment as he took in the sight of me.

            “Oh, hello there Heidi,” he greeted, all smiles again.

            “Hi Billy. Is Ethan home?” I asked.

            Billy’s eyebrows pulled together slightly. “No, he isn’t,” he answered thoughtfully. “Didn’t he tell you he was going to visit his cousins?”

            I leaned out of the doorway and looked pointedly at Ethan’s car in the driveway.

            Did he walk there or something? I thought to myself sarcastically.

            Billy noticed me looking at Ethan’s car and asked, “Would you like to come in for some coffee?”

            “Oh, sorry, I don’t drink coffee. Can’t stand the stuff,” I said, laughing slightly.

            “Personally, I couldn’t agree with you more. How about some cocoa?”

            I smiled warmly at him. “That would be great, thanks.” Even though there was not yet any snow on the ground, it was still very cold out, and I couldn’t pass up the offer. I stepped over the threshold and followed Billy inside.

            His house was covered in Christmas decorations, just like any other normal family. I took in all the red and green and tinsel, the giant Christmas tree in the corner of the living room, and the smell of pine. There was a fire going in the old stone fireplace, warming the entire house. It was so traditional, and it made me feel completely at home.

            I followed Billy into the kitchen and took a seat at the table while he filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove.

            I didn’t really know what to say, so I spoke the first thing that popped into my head. “So, what do you do? Ethan never really mentioned what your career was.”

            Billy turned around to face me and leaned against the counter. “I’m an herbalist.”

            This peeked my interest, since I’d never known anyone or spoken to anyone who was an herbalist. “Oh? That’s actually really interesting.”

            Billy smiled at me. “You think so?”

            “Yes, actually. What do you do?”

            “Well, basically my entire life is dedicated to finding different plants and herbs and discovering how they can be used as medicines. It doesn’t sound all that interesting, but I get to travel the world and create herbal medicines that can heal injuries and even diseases. It’s actually very rewarding.”

            “I’ll bet,” I replied. After a short period of silence, I asked, “So when is Ethan supposed to be home?”

            Billy looked at the floor for a moment, then answered with, “He didn’t say really.”

            “How did he even get there? I noticed his car in the driveway.”

            “His cousins came and picked him up.” Billy forced a smile.

            “Oh.” I paused. “He couldn’t take his car?”

            He shook his head. “No, he’s having problems with the engine or something.”

            It was working fine on Friday, I thought to myself.

            “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like a detective. Ethan just kind of left without any explanation and I was shocked,” I said sheepishly.

            “Oh, that’s fine, that’s fine. I understand.”

            The kettle came to a boil and Billy filled two mugs, mixing in the cocoa powder. He handed me my mug and I sipped it graciously. Billy and I made polite conversation, and once I was done my cocoa, he told me he would let Ethan know that I’d stopped by. I thanked him and headed home.

            As I passed the forest next to Ethan’s house, I felt drawn to the dark evergreen trees, the fallen leaves covering the forest floor, and the thought of having some time to myself. I didn’t know what it was, but I always loved the feeling of being alone while surrounded by nature. I always felt so perfectly at peace, like there was absolutely nothing in the world I had to waste my time worrying about.

            This thought in mind, I decided to make a little detour and stop in the forest. I parked my car on the curb and started into the forest. I just wanted to get away for a few minutes.

            As I followed the different trails outlined by crumpled and frail leaves, I wound deeper and deeper into the forest. The brush grew thicker and the light from the sun began to fade as the trees blocked it out.

None of this occurred to me as I looked up, though, due to the surprise that overcame all my senses.