Fourteen

            Of course, the first thing I did when I woke up on Saturday was call Angela and tell her everything that had happened with Ethan the day before. She was really excited for me, but I secretly thought it was partly because if I was with Ethan, then that meant she had Dallas all to herself, without any chance of me getting in the way.

 

The following Monday at school, I trailed behind Dallas and Angela through the hallways before first bell. They’d been trying to include me into the conversation, but I’d chosen to stay back and let them be. I didn’t want to interfere, because I remembered that Dallas had been acting weird around Angela. I wanted to stay uninvolved and let them work out whatever was wrong between them, so I stayed back and silently listened to their conversation.

“So how are things between you and Georgia?” Angela asked, trying to sound casual about it.

“What?” Dallas asked, clearly confused.

“Georgia? The girl you were telling us about last week? Or have you moved on from her already?”

“What are you talking about? There’s nothing going on between me and Georgia,” he replied defensively.

“That’s not how you made it sound when you wouldn’t shut up about her the other day.”

“Well excuse me for showing an interest in a girl that you don’t approve of.”

“I’m just saying that you seem to be showing an interest in a lot of girls lately.”

“So? What’s it to you? I’m just trying to find the ‘perfect girl’,” He said, using his fingers to quote the words.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but there’s no such thing.”

Dallas glanced back at me over his shoulder, as if to prove Angela wrong. I looked at the floor as a blush rose up my neck to my cheeks.

She pretended not to notice Dallas’s suggestion, and continued her rant. “I just don’t think its right for you to lead all these girls on. I mean�"”

“I’m not leading any girls on! I haven’t even spoken to any of those girls I was telling you about. All I was saying was that they seem dateable, you know? I didn’t say I was going to try anything on them.”

Angela was quiet for a moment. Then she mumbled, “Oh.”

“Why do you care anyways?”

“I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret,” she said hesitantly.

“I’m not planning on it,” he replied. I had a feeling there was a hidden meaning behind this statement.

They continued down the hall to homeroom, completely forgetting my existence. I walked very slowly, following in their path, letting my mind wander.

My pointless thoughts were interrupted by sudden blackness�"someone had snuck up behind me and covered my eyes with their hands.

“Guess who?” came a familiar voice from behind.

“Hmm, I wonder,” I replied sarcastically. “Could it be… Ethan?”

He took his hands off my face and I spun around, giving him a smirk.

“You’re good,” he said, and chuckled. Then he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, taking both my hands in his. “How’s it going?”

“Well, I’m hoping Angela and Dallas will get together, but that doesn’t seem to be working. I know how much they like each other, but they’re both too stubborn to admit it to one another. And now Dallas is pretending to show interest in other girls.” I gave a frustrated huff of breath.

Ethan ran his thumbs over the backs of my hands, massaging them gently. He spoke in a calming voice. “Don’t stress over it, Heidi. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. You’ve already done all you can by telling Dallas your true feelings. That’s all anyone can ask of you.”

I nodded in agreement, but my frustration wouldn’t subside. Not only was their stubbornness upsetting me, but also the fact that Ethan had avoided me for a week, without explanation. He couldn’t confide in me. I knew that I’d agreed to just forget about it, but that was impossible. It sat in the corner of my mind, constantly nagging me. I wanted to know what was wrong, or if something had happened, because obviously it involved me in some way. Why else had he stayed away from me for so long?

“What are you thinking?” Ethan asked finally, breaking my long, distracted silence. I looked up at him, searching his eyes. His expression was reluctant, and I was instantly sure that he knew what I was thinking.

“Nothing,” I mumbled. “I’ve got to get to class.”

Ethan paused, probably considering if he should bring up the topic of my thoughts or not. Then he said, “Yeah, me too. I guess I’ll see you later.”

He let go of my hands, kissed me on the top of my head, then turned around and disappeared into the crowded hallway. I stared after him, even though I could no longer spot him through the large crowd of students.

The bell rang then. I turned around and rushed to homeroom, following in Dallas and Angela’s now settled wake.

 

{   -   -   -   }

 

I decided to go to Angela’s house after school. We both needed a little girl time, after I instinctively avoided Ethan for the rest of the day, and Dallas hardly talked to Angela due to their little episode in the hallway.

When we got to her house, her little sisters were playing in the front yard. As I got out of Angela’s car, Ellie�"the four-year-old�"ran up to me and grabbed my hand. She started bouncing up and down, squealing my name repeatedly, excited to see me.

“Hey Ellie,” I said sweetly, picking her up and kissing her on the cheek. I put her down and she ran back over to her other two sisters�"Becca and Mae.

Angela snorted. “She loves you more than she loves me!”

I laughed. “Nah, she just missed me.” I walked over to the three girls and knelt down next to Mae�"the ten-year-old. “What’re you girls doing?”

“Jumping in the leaves,” twelve-year-old Becca answered. She pointed to a large pile of leaves they’d raked up.

I gasped, trying to sound enthusiastic. “Sounds fun!”

“You can have the first jump if you want, Heidi!” Mae suggested, giving me a big, toothy smile.

“Well, if you insist,” I replied. I ran and jumped into the pile of leaves, landing on my rear end. It wasn’t as soft a landing as one would hope for, but I was only doing it to make the girls happy.

I stood up and rubbed my sore behind, laughing at the little girls’ excited, smiling faces. I picked the leaves off myself and said goodbye to the girls, then followed Angela into the house.

“They adore you,” Ang commented as she closed the door behind me.

“Well, you guys are like my second family.”

We went into the kitchen, grabbed a snack, said hello to Mrs. Hughes, then headed up to Angela’s room.

“So?” Angela said as she flopped onto her bed.

I sat down beside her and stared at her. “What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me. What happened with you and Ethan?”

“What makes you think something happened?” I asked, taking a bite out of my Crispy Crunch chocolate bar.

“I’ve known you since fifth grade. I can read you like an open book.”

I sighed. “On Friday, I went over to Ethan’s house and confronted him about avoiding me. He didn’t have an explanation… He literally couldn’t explain himself�"he said it was safer for me if I didn’t know. What is that supposed to mean? He asked me to just forget about it, because it wouldn’t affect me in any way, but it’s bothering me! Probably more than it should, all because he can’t tell me some secret that caused him to avoid me for an entire week…”

“Well, if it doesn’t affect you then it probably has nothing to do with you. Maybe it’s just something he doesn’t want to tell you until he knows you better.”

“I don’t think so. I asked him if he would tell me eventually, in time, and he told me to just forget about it. He wants me to stop thinking about it… which makes me think he’s hiding something that would upset me, or hurt me.”

Angela shrugged. “I really don’t know. Just try not to stress over it, because if he doesn’t want you to know, then he must have a reason for it.”

“I’m trying, but I keep thinking about it�"more like over thinking it. I’m getting all paranoid that it has something to do with me.” I took a deep breath, and decided I should change the subject. I knew Angela was dying to discuss Dallas. “Okay, never mind. I want to know what’s going on with you and Dallas.”

Angela sighed and looked up at the ceiling as she spoke. “In the hallway this morning I was acting like his mother! ‘Oh Dallas, don’t lead girls on, it’s not right.’ I feel like such an idiot!”

“It wasn’t that bad!” I argued, thinking she was being dramatic. “What you said was true enough.”

“Yeah, but now he’s mad at me.”

“He’s not mad, Ang. He’s just unsure.”

She bolted into an upright position and looked at me. “Unsure of what?”

I sighed again. “Unsure of what to do with you. I know he must like you, but he doesn’t want to get hurt again. He doesn’t want a repeat of what happened with me.”

“Then why is he acting so distant? And why’s he showing interest in other girls?”

I paused. “Maybe he doesn’t want you to know he likes you, so there’s no chance of you rejecting him.”

Angela threw her arms into the air in frustration. “Ugh! If only he knew!”

“Then let him know! Tell him how you feel!”

“I can’t do that! You don’t even know for sure that he likes me!”

I took a deep, calming breath. I placed my hands on Angela’s shoulders and looked her in the eyes, speaking slowly. “Angela, listen to me. You have to learn to take chances. If you stay sitting on the sidelines your entire life, you’re never going to get anywhere or achieve anything! I know it’s hard to work up the guts for some things, but you’ll have a completely different outlook on life if you just go for it.”

Angela was quiet for a while as she considered this. “What should I do?”

“It’s up to you. Just let him know how you feel.”

            She nodded determinedly. “I’ll try my best.”