Five

            After I dropped Angela off at her house, I drove home and noticed that Ray’s car was gone"which meant so was Ethan. I let out a sigh of relief and went inside. I headed to my mom’s office and knocked on the door. I wanted to let her know I was home.

            “Come in,” she called from behind the closed door. I opened it and stepped inside, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. The blinds were pulled, and no lights were on whatsoever. There was also a foul smell to the room. It smelled like whiskey.

            “Mom, it’s so dark in here.” I walked around her desk and pulled open the blinds, sending an excruciating amount of light into the room.

            “Ah!” yelled my mom, covering her face from the light.

            “Sorry, but sitting in the dark and staring at your computer screen all day can’t be good for your eyes.”

            She rubbed her eyes and then opened them, letting them adjust to the light. “I know. I just got distracted"I didn’t think to open the blinds.”

            “Have you been drinking again?” I asked, sliding open the windows to air the room out.

            “I only had a few glasses of whiskey,” she answered, almost reluctantly.

            “Oh, mom,” I said disapprovingly. She wasn’t drunk, but she seemed a little tipsy. And I was scared that her ending up drunk wasn’t too far off.

            “What? It’s not a crime,” she replied defensively.

            I said nothing as I walked back around in front of her desk and leaned forward onto it. “I just wanted to let you know I was home.”

            “Home?” she asked, confused. “I"I didn’t know you… You went somewhere?”

            I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. Of course my mother wouldn’t have known I went anywhere. She didn’t keep track of Ray and I like any normal parent would. She never checked up on us to see what we were up to. She barely ever left her office.

            “Yes, mom. I spent the day at the mall.” I left the room and quietly shut the office door behind me. I didn’t really know what I was trying to accomplish by letting my mother know that I was home safe. Maybe I wanted some type of recognition from her; for her to realize that she should be keeping a closer eye on me or something. But I just left her office unsatisfied and hurt that she could care less where I was, or what I was doing.

            Being at the mall all day hadn’t helped much"I still desperately wanted to escape my house. And this time, not because Ethan was there. I wanted to escape my mom and her neglect; her nonexistent love for her children.

            With this in mind, I pulled my coat back on and got into my little car. I didn’t look back as I sped down the road, leaving my large, mansion-resembling house in the dust.

 

{   -   -   -  }

 

            I pulled into the deserted parking lot of the baseball field. I gave a satisfied smile as I got out of my car and looked around. The baseball field was as empty as the parking lot, and the surrounding forest seemed calm and quiet.

            I walked up to the fence that surrounded the baseball field, and walked along it until I found what I was looking for. The bottom of the chain-link fence turned up in an almost unnoticeable way. But I knew it was there. When I was younger and I used to play baseball, me and all the other kids on the team would sneak under this spot in the fence in the middle of the night to play.

            I stared at it for a minute, then got down on my stomach and crawled under it. It was a tight squeeze, now that I was grown, but I managed.

            I stood up and wiped off the front of my clothes, then walked to the center of the field. The sun was close to setting, and I knew the darkness was near, so I figured I wouldn’t be caught. It wasn’t like anyone really cared about this field much anymore, anyways. It barely ever got used.

            Walking over to home plate, I closed my eyes and imagined I was in the middle of a game ten years ago. As I stepped onto the cushiony plate, I pictured the crowd, jumping up in their seats, cheering loudly. I saw my dad and my mom, sitting in the front row, screaming my name, cheering me on. I imagined myself readying my bat as the pitcher wound up and let go, the ball flying at me.

            Suddenly, I heard a noise. Footsteps. My eyes shot open and I looked around quickly, trying to find the source of the twigs cracking. Then my eyes landed on him, emerging from the trees. I stared him down as he approached the fence.

            “Hey you,” Ethan said, a smile spreading across his face.

            I nodded my head curtly"a cold greeting.

            “What are you doing out here?” he asked, beginning to climb the fence.

            “You’re never going to get over that,” I said matter-of-factly, gesturing towards the fence, clearly ignoring his question.

            He held back a response as he climbed, quickly and swiftly, and reached the top of the towering fence. He jumped over the top and landed softly"nearly silently"on the ground, proving me wrong.

            “Wow, you made that look easy,” I said, turning away from him.

            “It was easy.”

            I scoffed at him and began to walk away. Suddenly, he was at my side, his hand on my shoulder.

            “Why do you hate me?” he asked, his eyes boring into mine. I noticed that his gentle yet bright green eyes had flecks of yellow around the pupil. They were almost hypnotizing.

            “I don’t hate you,” I said, in a bit of a stuck up way.

            “Okay…” he said slowly. “Then why do you dislike me?”

            I sighed. “I don’t dislike you, Ethan. Things are just… complicated for me right now.”

            He watched me for a moment without speaking as I picked up a long stick that was just lying there. I began drawing little designs in the reddened sand.

            “So what are you doing out here anyways?” he asked, breaking the silence.

            “I could ask you the same thing,” I replied, avoiding the question. The truth was, I didn’t know why I was there. I just wanted to get away from home for a bit, and the baseball field was a place where some of my happiest memories occurred.

            “Touché,” he said. “I’ll tell you, if you tell me.”

            I finished doodling in the sand and took a good look at it. It ended up nothing like I wanted it to be, but then again it wasn’t very easy to draw with a long stick. I kicked the marks out of the sand and began drawing the outline of a dog.

            “I needed to get away from home for a bit. You know, to be alone,” I said pointedly.

            Ethan decided to ignore the hint, and said, “I’m the exact opposite. I hate being alone.”

            I looked up at him. “But don’t you ever just want some time to yourself?”

            He shrugged. “I… I get a lot of opportunities for that. It’s not something I look forward to, believe me.”

            I was about to ask him what he meant, when he took a step forward and placed his hand over mine on the stick. He moved in towards me and began sliding the stick along in the sand, my hand with it. He added more detail to the picture of my dog. After a few minutes, he lifted the stick so I could get a better look at it.

            I stared at the drawing in the sand. “A wolf?”

            He nodded. “Do you like wolves?”

            “I love them. They’re my favorite animal.”

            His smile turned into a grimace, and suddenly he looked very tired. “I suppose they’re beautiful, in their own way. But then again, isn’t every creature of the night?”

            I searched his eyes for a moment. Then I realized how close to me he really was. I let go of the stick he still had his hand wrapped around, and I took a few steps back from him.

            “Sorry,” he mumbled, remembering that I wasn’t willing to let myself get close to him.

            “So you never told me what you were doing creeping around in the forest,” I said quickly, aiming to change the subject.

            He hesitated at the sudden change of topic. “I know this will sound strange to you, but it’s just a place I go to think.”

            “You go into the forest at night to think?”

            “First of all, it’s not night.”

            “Fine. When it’s near dark.”

            “Yes. And second of all, my house is just on the other side of this forest.”

            “You walked all the way through the forest?”

            “It’s only a forty-five minute hike. This forest is longer than it is wide.”

            “Only forty-five minutes?” I repeated, disbelieving. “That seems like a long hike just to be thinking.”

            He shrugged. “I just got distracted, I guess. Besides, it’s good exercise. Gotta stay in shape,” he said, patting his clearly fit stomach.

            I suddenly felt very hungry, and cold. I hadn’t realized before but my fingers and toes were practically numb. And my stomach was rumbling.

            “I should go,” I said, not giving him the satisfaction of explaining myself. I headed back towards the fence.

            “Oh… Alright. I’ll see you soon,” he said"maybe a little too confidently.

            “Maybe,” I said over my shoulder. I lay onto my stomach again and pulled myself through the unnoticeable hole beneath the fence. I didn’t look back as I got into my car and drove off.