I've read several chapters of this and find you to be really quite talented. The subject matter isn't exactly a favorite for an old man, but I can see wonderful potential in you. Where can I find the first 12 chapters though?
What you've got posted in these three chapters so far is really amazing! It reads smooth and brings us in quick to the personalities of your characters. The dialog flows like it would in life and the characters act real, not overfluffed. Great Writing!