CREDIT OR CASH

~CREDIT OR CASH~

 

Where are you -- you forgot too pay ?

Have you drifted into another sphere -

What happened and where ?

Where is the bridge, you know, that one,

That i could always depend upon.

Where is that shoulder, and arms to hold ?

You `promised to never let go..

Are not `promises' made to keep?

I could always lean on 'I believed'..

Always in you, never thought of `lies'

least of all from `you`.

But' here and now, you left me crawling,

broken in pieces..scattered -and thrown about--

Never to think 'it would come seeping in liquid reds -

Where are the arms that hugged and

that always protected ?

You `promised to never let go..

Were they all empty promises too ? ?

Now here i lay in the dust - -

And i can't find my way, no, no, no way !

As this pain encircles me, choking the life from me, and i feel like to die, but...

Rather, i would cut to bleed this pain if i

only knew for sure it would take - -

If` I only knew for sure.. I would take that chance.

They say 'thats` only 'feelings' but maybe I'd rather not too `feel` like you do ?

But, you know from you.. I always

drew such strength, and courage,

the will to carry on, that bridge, that you always were.

The 'you' I use to know - - or thought.

I just knew I would go the length, even if it meant to die.

Yet, for so long, it seems years `now` I been crawling, and choking in the dust..

--but I need to know?

What happened to my bridge

that carried me across troubled waters, tell me ?

I think the loss of a sweetheart, or lover, even eyes to see, words to breathe, ink to spill blood upon and even more..they all

would be much easier to soak in -- would you know,

easier even than the loss of a friend, as you said I was your best ?

Do you remember then..when ?

With whom everything we so did always share.

And now so many questions - -arise and are

met with this dead silence, and tears flow like the rivers, non stopping.

And I search and try so hard to find some peace within, yet i`m struck

only to find this stabbing absence, filled with pain that won't quit!

Yes your betrayal, of all things.. thats what it 'feels' like,

it was the worst thing that could be done ever

this loss of a friend, as you said I was your best ?

Things will get better they all say' but I'm not so sure anymore?

How could what was shared

be so easy to sell - - ? Cash or credit ?

Okay, I understand the embarrassment

when you don't want people to know of the `truth`,

or perhaps, I should find a better 'word'..one of `yours ?

This bridge is just far too winding, and i can't find a straight edge anywhere anymore -

I look for you at that corner `the one in my sleep` where you said we`d meet? remember? but,

i can't find you nowhere.

I feel violated by you.

And how you took, and took and still pretend, your so innocent and did nothing wrong--

Or perhaps, you forgot.. one of `your favorite lines`.

but, I guess `promises` aren't` made to be kept, by so many..

As you just left everything to wither and die.

They say 'thats' only 'feelings' but maybe I`d rather not to feel,

`like you do'.. how does one do it?

Or is it a secret too ?

　

By

Alona Lee Jones

Copyrights2012