Complicated Breathing

Would you be happy as
What everyone else would like you to be
Ive been trying to feel, absolutely nothing
A robot is safe, a robot is strong
A robotic routine will save me, so heart so long
Would you be happy pretending to be happy as somebody else

That isnt you or anything like
What you would stand for
Whos so much quieter and calmer
And doesnt speak up for
All the things he believes
Could you afford to be him
And choke on words behind your teeth

Would you be happy as
What everyone else would like you to be
Ive been trying to feel, absolutely nothing
A robot is safe, a robot is strong
A robotic routine will save me, so heart so long
Would you be happy pretending to be happy as somebody else
Would you be happy as what everyone else loves

A person who is so gentle
A person who is so dumb and dull
A person who cant feel anything and
Lets himself be consumed by their will

Dont talk to me about things you dont know
Dont act like you know me, to you im somebody else
So dont let it go, dont give in, and listen


A robot is safe, a robot is strong
A robotic routine will save me, so heart so long
Would you be happy pretending to be happy as somebody else
Would you be happy as what everyone else loves to see

Author's Note

Freeform and i refuse to use spellcheck/apostrophies. All my writing is as-typed. No modification, just whatever pours out.

Reviews

[Edalene Connell]

It is a choise for you to use spellcheck, sometimes its best just to let the words flow out. This was a great poem. People shouldn't throw their selves away and try to be who they are not. It destroys them in the end, that's what I think anyway.

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

"Imitation is a form of suicide"
I think you get that point across quite well. To form oneself into what others want is getting rid of who you truely are. A robot may be safe and strong, but all it takes is a little water or the draining of power to shut it down. A human is far from robot; no matter what a person goes through, they try and try and try again until they feel satisfied with the outcome. They get stronger with each new expierence and smarter as well. I really like this topic because it seems everyone is just the same these days. Thank you for sharing and I hope you will always voice your opinion.

[savesthedaynj]

Being yourself is definitely a main theme here, both in the poem and the execution, hahaha. You chose an easily relateable topic and I think everyone can identify with feeling like they have to act a certain way or look a certain way to please others. My only possible suggestion would be to maybe change line breaks. I know this is how the poem came out of you, but sometimes the work can hit home harder if you leave the reader wanting to know what's coming next. Again, great topic and I look forward to reading more from you.

[The Autumn Faerie]

Who needs grammar in a piece as heart-felt as this?
I, too, have tried to feel nothing.
I, too, have feigned happiness.

It's beautiful-- as-typed.
Modification is a choice, and I see that, with your writing, there is no need for it.
It might just temper the emotion to change a work of brilliance, such as this.

Keep writing!