Broken Hearted

Meet Abigail Adler, daughter of a Shadow Lord. #76 of My 100 Things Collection.

He was there when I got back home this morning, sat leaning back in one of the comfy chairs by the bar, feet on a table. He made some smart-a*s comment about remembering walking back home at this time of the morning when he was my age. He’s not that much older than me... he just thinks he is cause he looks after me. Never knew my mom, he’s all that I have in the world " Ace.  Technically, he’s my step-father. He’s just not related to me at all... seems to think that makes it okay for him to hit on me and patronize me in the same breath.

I dont think he noticed when I locked myself in my room above the club, throwing myself onto the bed. Sometimes, I hate my life. He’s the closest thing I have to family and most of the time, I want to shove something sharp through my ears so I don’t have to put up with him... at least, that’s half of the reason.

I think I’ve always been broken-hearted. I can’t ever recall feeling complete. Not once, not even a little. I only remember feeling loved a few times in my life, and those are all recent-ish. Like when Ace held me and just let me cry after the bar man abused me.

Some times I hate him... Sometimes, it’s his fault my mom died. If she hadn’t loved him she wouldn’t have been working here and then she would never have gotten shot...

Mostly, I love him. More than a daughter should love her step-father... but maybe, just maybe if I love him as she did I can feel close to her. Maybe I’ll know a little of who I am and who I am supposed to be.

I think Ace understands...

...He always stands that little bit too close to be paternal, and hugs me a little too long to say we’re not related. Most people assume he’s my brother... too young to be my father, too protective to be my partner. They would never understand what it is between us... They wouldn’t understand our relationship. The uniqueness, and sexlessness of it all would confuse them.

Loving him doesn’t mean I want him in my bed.

It just means I need him in my life.

 

Abigail Adler