Terrified of Coffee

Conquer your fears

Terrified of Coffee

All the conversations spiking up around me were more than enough to make me nervous, to the extent of wearing me out. Neurons in overstretched parts of my brain, worn through like burnt out computer circuitry, periodically fired and sent a powerful, throbbing ache through those damaged parts of my brain. It had been two years since I'd slept. Really slept. I mean truly slept, the kind of sleep where your own personal ocean is truly calmed and you're floating silently and thoughtlessly through it in a total, perfect silence, like a quiet baby.

It had also been that amount of time, two years to the day, since I'd had a cup of coffee. It was ironic that I hadn't slept since avoiding a stimulant, but my last encounter had shocked me to life more than a hundred cups ever could. I remembered still, struggling sometimes to recall even my own name through the short-circuiting of my daily thoughts... I remember the day it happened. Right here, in this coffee shop. No warnings about the temperature and a furious machine producing the most scalding concoction of filtered black terror to have ever been created. The lid had slipped, the coffee had scalded my lap. I spent weeks in hospital with second degree burns and, as you know, years flinching like an abuse victim from even the sight or smell of a simple cup of coffee. However, my therapist had urged me to conquer my fears...

So, here, now, this afternoon, I let myself go on autopilot. Palms sweating, stress and exerted willpower leaving me dizzy and terrified, I grapple with the pain of ordering a cup. I stagger outside like a weak drunkard, and steady my trembling hand to raise the paper cup to my quivering lips. Sip. Milk, one sugar. Wow. I feel a rush, a small buzz of hope and optimism add colour to my drab white filter day. On autopilot still, a smile creeps upwards and becomes my face. I laugh unashamedly, proudly, as I walk headlong into the road without fear.

SMACK. A wave of solid pain, an instant of flying and a harsh screech of tyres, my world becomes an agonising blur.  Distracted, I had been hit by a passing driver, a mother of two. As she rushes out, oh my God, are you ok, and frantically calls an ambulance, her fear teases mine to return and fuels it.

Now I'm in the hospital once again. I'm in a staring match with a styrofoam cup by my bedside, brown liquid with threatening lava like steam. I'm safe from it for now.

I'm still terrified of coffee.

Reviews

[juliem]

Love it!! Fast paced and just how I feel after a strong coffee so I want to keep reading. Great descriptions. Can you write a longer one next time so we can enjoy for more time?!

[Alex Ware]

Wow thanks for the feedback :)

[Hope]

Your narration is very enjoyable and prompts us to read till the end......
A unique topic to broach upon...
Loved your story, Alex:)

[Alex Ware]

Thank you!

[Maya]

#coffeehomocide And you wonder why I don't drink any, eh? :P Really well written as usual. I like the ironic twists.