The story of my glass eye

How some people wind up with a glass eye

The story of my glass eye

It seemed like a special and exciting day, when my eye popped out and rolled onto the table. No-one had ever told me that it wouldn’t hurt. No-one had ever told me that it would still work!

I was just getting stick of the humdrum too, so it was a refreshing sight, to look out of the window and down at my coffee both at once. Now I know how crosseyed people feel. What a marvellous sense of freedom!

So imagine my pleasure, right thereafter, when I could focus its movement. I could roll, twitch, spring up and..levitate? You’ve never felt out of body until you’ve levitated your eye up to face you, stared back unblinking, unable to blink, into your own ruptured and hollowed eye socket. Spin your eye in circles without getting dizzy, like a child playing with a new toy.

I should have stopped to ask why more people didn’t do this. Had I ever seen it? Was it some secret long forgotten? There’s a life hack for you. Now I could find out where the mouse was in the crawlspaces under the cupboards and lure him out. I could see what the blockage was in the pipes in the bathroom sink. I could see fireworks without going outside, sneak into a cinema in a strangers coat pocket, fly up to see how s**t traffic was. I could do anything with this gift!

For a few days, this is what I did, but you start to wonder what you can get away with. Summer was already here, and I’d long since gotten myself a glass eye for appearances. 

Meanwhile, my wandering eye couldn’t resist the temptation. A tiny eye never seemed to be noticed, but it found its way up girls skirts no matter where I tried to move it. At first, for a few days at least, I would lose concentration and it’d move that way, but it wasn’t long before I lost control of it altogether. It had its own sense of perversion, of thrill, and would often fly far away from me for minutes at a time.

One night, I awoke in the middle of the night. Checked my alarm clock with my loyal eye. 3am. My other eye was somewhere dark but with a little flashing strobe light, dancing young men and women. It had taken itself on a night out?! In anger and frustration, I focused hard on controlling the rebellious appendage, to no avail. It made its way towards some young brunette, when suddenly, a sharp pain! It was yanked violently upwards, my view span as I clutched my eye socket in pain. There was a hulking bouncer, without a floating ear I couldn't make out what he was screaming. A fist, agony, then..total blindness.

So yeah, that’s how I can only see out of one eye. The other is glass, and now you know why. Are you glad you asked?