lonely thought

on a roll...

I’m alone; I’m alone

in my

thoughts

prayers and dreams;

possible schemes

in my

heart

I’m alone

as I walk

aimlessly

;

so alone

passing through

halls of concrete minds

and fertile fields

singing the song

from my heart

plodding and

trodding

in 4/4 beat

as I

carry the weight

of the world,

singing my song,

I’m alone, I’m alone

I’m not lonely

but boy, so alone

 

Author's Note

written: June 26, 2012
photo: Ringling Bros. Museum, Sarasota Florida (February 13, 2011)
I'm deciding whether to keep the words to the right of the picture as is...what do you think...??

Reviews

[Mark]

I used to be quite he Greek mythology buff, so the story of Atlas always intrigued me, apart from the 'What did he stand on, if he was carrying the world...Okay, then, what did the Great Turtle stand on?, ad infinitum.
I can think of few punishments greater, not even Sisyphus', than having to bear the entire weight of the world, whether literally, as Atlas, or in a figurative sense, and not having the option to observe or modify the results or the process! Then, too, there's Antarctica on the collarbone: talk about a pain in the neck! And miles beyond anything any one of us could define as 'lonely'!
I agree with the consensus, that the crowding effect of the photo on the first stanza is disconcerting, and it were better that the copy were moved either above or below, rather than beside.

[Ruth]

The turn around to this is gorgeously portrayed...we can attune to loneliness without being lonely :)
xoxo

[Lily Mae]

There is a definite difference between being lonely and being all alone.. Not many speak of that.. nice point with and awesome write..xo and this pic is perfect..xo

[VelvetRosetta]

My opinion would be to move the words to the bottom...and you have captured one of my many passtimes to a T...the art of feeling alone. Nicely done!

[Poetic Beauty]

We can all feel like this at times

[Allen Smuckler]

gots that right PB. Thanks for your feedback...
allen

[Allen Smuckler]

btw...changed format if you care to see...

[allie_arrowz]

your last name reminds me of pb&j sandwiches.
i say move the picture out of the way.
great writing.

[Shy Girl]

I must say that you captured that drudgery feeling so acutely, that I'm tired just from reading your words and gazing at the picture. I think that to fully understand what you're saying ... leaving it the way it is as our eyes travel from line to line, we are given that short glimpse of this statues grim haughty burden. The courage it takes to try to carry such weight ... most definately is captured in your words of thoughtful reflection. That one trail can seem lonely...but it is one that can be best traveled alone. Stunning as always Allen :)

[asdarkeyesclose]

i liked the combination of the picture and words, the picture suggesting the a heavy load to carry. i liked the idea of being alone but not lonely there is a fine line between the two. fantastic.

[~Lizzy♬]

This was really good. Simple, yet so powerful! :)

~Lizzy~

[Owlgirl]

Great poem! I think it might help to move the words to below the image, but other than that, it's amazing!! Awesome job!